


IRL (A/S/L 2)

by Maraudererasmut



Series: A/S/L [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (chapter 20), ADD Lily Evans, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Bisexual Male Character, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Developing Relationship, Drinking, Drunk padfoot, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, Lazy Mornings, Lazy Sunday mornings, Let me know if I'm forgetting any important tags, M/M, Mild Smut, Mildly Dubious Consent, Morning Cuddles, Morning Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Omegle, Online Dating, Online Relationship, Online Romance, Part Two, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Texting, The continuation of the omegle fic that nobody knew they needed in their lives, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trigger Warnings (Chapter 8): Dysphora and Depression [Chapter can be skipped if necessary!], text fic, trans!remus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-07-18 00:46:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 42,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/pseuds/Maraudererasmut
Summary: Padfoot and Moony originally met online through a website called Randochat. Now that they've finally met in real life, their relationship is going to be a little different. There are still lots of things to figure out about each other before they're able to settle down into a comfortable rhythm.Part two to A/S/LChapters marked with an * may contain M or E rated content.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back, guys and gals and nonbinary pals! 
> 
> We have our newest installment of A/S/L! I've decided to make this a new fic altogether because it really shows a different part of Padfoot and Moony's relationship. Before, I focused on their online interactions, but this time, the focus is more on how they interact in real life together and how their relationship grows and develops!
> 
> I strongly recommend that you check out part one (A/S/L) before reading this, but there is a very brief recap at the beginning of this fic if you're feeling lazy! https://archiveofourown.org/works/19070380/chapters/45302071
> 
> I hope you enjoy this new adventure that we're going on!
> 
> (**Update 06/11/19** I promise this fic isn't abandoned! I've been struggling with some writer's block recently, but I'm determined to keep going and tell this story!!)

Remus walked into Philosophy class fifteen minutes early, hoping to grab a seat before Sirius arrived and have a chance to calm his nerves. 

This was the first day that he would actually spend with his boyfriend in real life and Remus was absolutely terrified. The boys had spent several weeks corresponding back and forth over instant messaging, and Remus had met Sirius in the past, but this was different. This time, Remus knew that Sirius was his online friend, Padfoot. This time, they had settled all of their discrepancies and frustrations. This time, they would be spending time together as boyfriends, as a couple, and Remus could hardly keep himself together.

When Remus entered the classroom, there were already two people that had arrived earlier than him. Sitting on his desk at the front of the room was Professor Kettleburn, deep in conversation with a student. When Remus turned to see who the professor was talking to, his heart stuttered, and he felt his stomach twist excitedly. Casually leaning back in the seat next to Remus' usual spot was Sirius Black; a grin spread across his face as he discussed philosophy with the professor. 

Before Remus had a chance to speak, Kettleburn looked up and noticed him standing in the middle of the classroom.

"Oh, good morning, Remus!" Professor Kettleburn smiled in Remus' direction and nodded. When Sirius heard mention of Remus' name, he immediately sat up and spun around, his face lighting up with joy as his eyes fell upon Remus'. Sirius' smile grew wider and his shoulders visibly relaxed; Remus struggled to suppress the blush that he knew was creeping across his cheeks.

"Hey," Remus mumbled, lifting his hand in a poor attempt at a wave.

"Don't worry," the professor said encouragingly, an earnest smile remaining steadfast on his face. "Sirius explained the situation to me. I'll have you both present next week with the second half of the class. We won't end up getting through everyone's presentations today anyway."

_ Presentation?! _

Remus felt his heart stop for a moment as he realized that they had an assignment due that day. With all of the tension and drama that had consumed Remus' mind the past few weeks, he had allowed his studies to fall by the wayside. Now he realized just how difficult he had made things for himself.

"Wha—" Remus began, before Sirius cut him off.

"Yeah, I already told Professor Kettleburn that you've been under the weather and asked to present next class. We're well on our way to finishing, but we really could use the extra time."

Remus felt his stomach churn at how easily Sirius had lied to the professor, but he wasn't one to complain about an extension. He hadn't even looked at the rubric, let alone started writing his section. Remus gave his partner a grateful smile and a nod before settling into the vacant chair.

As Professor Kettleburn got distracted by other students slowly arriving to class, Remus turned to Sirius, his eyebrow cocked.

"We're well on our way to finishing?"

"Would you prefer I told him the truth?" Sirius offered Remus a smirk that quickly faded when he saw his friend's expression. "I didn't want you to worry about the assignment. I'm sorry."

"It's fine…" Remus mumbled. He noticed Sirius' expression fall slightly. "Thank you. I really do appreciate it."

Sirius smiled again and nudged Remus gently with his elbow; a gesture that was clearly meant to be playful but caused Remus to stiffen slightly. He still wasn't sure how to act around Sirius. The two boys were dating, yes, but they had never had the opportunity to be physically affectionate, and it felt uncanny. Remus wasn't sure if he was supposed to hug Sirius, to hold his hand, or even to kiss him. All he knew was that they had a date planned after class that would hopefully reveal some answers.

Philosophy class was uneventful; groups presented their thoughts on determinism and the teacher enthusiastically gave feedback. Remus didn't hear a word of his classmates' speeches, his mind focused on the fact that Sirius was sitting beside him, casting coy glances periodically. At one point, Remus thought Sirius was about to put a hand on his leg, and he felt his heart stop momentarily. When Sirius reached for the eraser on his miniature desk, Remus felt the heat boil up in his cheeks, embarrassed for thinking anything more of his friend's movement.

By the time class ended, Remus could have sworn the tension around him was palpable; Sirius was bound to notice that something was amiss, considering his knack for being frustratingly observant. 

As the students packed up their bags, Sirius hopped out of his chair and offered Remus a hand. Remus stared for a moment, giving pause before grasping it, allowing Sirius to help him to his feet. The moment their hands touched, Remus felt a shiver run up his spine. 

"Thanks," he muttered, pulling his hand away and distracting himself with packing his satchel. Sirius didn't say a word in response, and they left the classroom in silence.

Once the boys were in the corridor, Remus opened his mouth to speak, but Sirius began talking before he had a chance.

"Moondoe? It's nearby and I get a discount…"

Remus nodded and followed Sirius to their campus coffee shop, located in the same building as their Philosophy classroom. They walked through bustling corridors, lined with lockers and filled with chatty students, each in their own world as they made their way from classroom to classroom. Sirius would occasionally smile and nod at people he recognized, but otherwise headed straight to the Moondoe. When they arrived, they noticed that it was relatively empty, but Sirius insisted that Remus grab a table while he purchased drinks. Eventually, the two boys were seated, tucked into a secluded corner, searching for words to say.

"So…" Sirius began, fiddling with his wooden stir stick, twirling it between his nimble fingers.

"So…" Remus echoed, staring at the swirling bits of cinnamon in his coffee cup.

"Um… hi?"

Remus chuckled at the awkwardness of their interaction, considering the fact that Sirius was known for being suave and put together.

"Hi…"

" _ Fuck _ . Okay, enough of this shit." Sirius ran a hand through his inky black hair, swooping tresses away from his face. He grinned earnestly at Remus and let out a nervous laugh. "Moons, it's me. Why are things so fucking  _ awkward _ ?"

Remus shrugged, a nervous smile glued to his lips. He was having trouble figuring out what to say, especially considering that he hadn't properly spoken to Sirius in a week. 

"Fuck it. We're taking our coffees to go. C'mon." Sirius stood up, his drink clutched in one hand, the other extended out to Remus. Remus grabbed his coffee, threw his bag over his shoulder and allowed Sirius to help him up, before immediately letting go and shoving his hand in his pocket. Sirius gave him a playful nudge with his elbow and led the way across campus.

Remus had no idea where they were going; they walked past the engineering buildings, through the Fine Arts building, in the opposite direction of the main residences. They weaved down dirt pathways, through clumps of trees, across the quad and down some old stone steps. At one point, another student waved at Sirius and he waved back with a jovial greeting before pressing on. Eventually, they walked through a door to a part of the school that Remus had never entered and wound their way through the halls and stairs, heading down into the basement.

"Sirius, where the hell are—"

Remus cut himself off when he saw Sirius' devilish grin, his silvery eyes gleaming with mischief. Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously but allowed himself to be led into a room that required a student card to open. Sirius swiped his card and motioned for Remus to head inside. Remus obliged and entered the room before stopping dead in his tracks.

It was a small space, clearly made for quiet study, and it contained a sofa, a coffee table, an ethernet cable and a mini refrigerator. It smelled of stale coffee and the stuffiness of a room that hadn’t been aired out in years. There were no windows in the room; instead, the walls were lined with movie posters and comic strips, with the occasional drawing tacked up for fun. Sirius followed Remus inside the room and shut the door behind them before plopping down on the couch and grinning up at Remus.

"Welcome," he said, waving his arm at the room, "To Study Room forty-two." 

Remus quirked an eyebrow, trying to suppress his grin.

"Study room forty-two?"

"Yup! English majors have rooms forty to forty-nine located in our building. We decided to make them a bit more… hospitable. Hence the sofa. We come here to write sometimes. Chill… take naps… watch movies… sometimes other things…"

Remus felt his chest tighten as he realized what Sirius was implying. Was he brought all this way just for a shag in the English building?

Sirius must have sensed his apprehension, because he let out a nervous laugh, running a hand through his hair sheepishly.

"We've got an episode of Basker to catch up on, remember?"

Just like that, all the tension in Remus' body melted away, his stomach suddenly filled with butterflies, a dopey grin spreading across his face. Sitting in a coffee shop and talking wasn't something he was used to doing with his boyfriend. Watching TV shows? That was exactly what Moony loved to do with Padfoot.

Sirius pulled his laptop out of his bag and began setting it up while Remus sat down beside him and grinned. It was kind of fun to see Padfoot in action, knowing his way around PsiTorrent, understanding basic computer skills. Remus was used to Lily, who constantly begged him to do all the computer set-up.  _ You're a computer guy, you do it! _

When Sirius was finished, the episode was ready to play on the laptop screen. He sat back on the sofa, leaning against the old squashy cushions, and spread his arms out across the back of it. 

"Ready?"

Remus flashed Sirius a smile and leaned over to the computer to press the spacebar before settling back on the couch beside his Padfoot, allowing him to drape an arm across his shoulders.

The episode could have the best Basker episode to date, for all he knew; Remus was far from able to concentrate on the show, his mind occupied by the smell of leather and cigarettes, the gentle stroking of Padfoot's thumb on his shoulder, the slow rise and fall of the chest beside him. Remus swallowed hard, working up the nerve to lean into his boyfriend, to snuggle closer and feel his warmth. He slowly shifted his body to the left, and felt Sirius' arm tighten around him, pulling him in affectionately. Sirius' eyes never wavered from the screen, but Remus could see a smug grin curling the corner of his lips. 

Remus inhaled deeply, the spiced cologne swirling through his brain, making his stomach twist and turn excitedly. Heat radiated from Sirius' body and Remus suddenly found himself wondering what his lips would taste like, what his skin would feel like, what it would be like to run his fingers through those tangled locks. 

Just as Remus was about to lean in closer and test his own limits, Sirius suddenly turned to look at him with a cocky smirk. 

"You were awfully quiet during that episode…"

Remus suddenly pulled away, his cheeks growing hotter by the moment, Sirius' casual laugh stabbing at his gut. Moony hadn't even realized the episode was finished.

"I…" Remus began, before realizing that he didn't have anything to say.

"It's okay," Sirius chuckled, moving the arm that had been around Remus and sweeping back his hair. "I don't think I caught any of it. Having you beside me was really distracting…"

Remus didn't think it was possible for his cheeks to burn more, but somehow Sirius had managed it.

" _ Shit _ ," Sirius mumbled, pulling away from Remus and breaking the spell that seemed to surround them. "I've got class in ten minutes…" 

Sirius stood up and beamed down at Remus, offering him a hand. Remus grinned sheepishly and took it, using Sirius to pull himself to his feet. 

"I can walk you to your next class if you want…"

Remus shook his head, his smile never wavering. 

"Nah, I'm fine. Your class is in this building, right?" 

"Yeah, but I don't mind. Honestly…"

"It's fine. I appreciate the chivalry, but I can find my own way to class."

Remus grabbed his satchel and turned to leave, but he hesitated for a moment. He glanced back at Sirius and saw his boyfriend smiling at him, so full of affection and adoration. Remus could feel his cheeks warming and his stomach leaping. Electricity coursed through his veins as he stared into molten silver eyes that darted back and forth across his face, taking him in. 

It was as if Remus' instincts took over. In one swift motion, his arms were around Sirius neck and their lips were pressed softly together in the gentlest of kisses. Before Sirius had a chance to react, Remus had pulled away with a coy grin, biting his lip playfully, fully aware of the blush that covered his entire face. 

"See you tonight on Instachat," Remus quickly teased before anxiously darting from the room, leaving Sirius alone in stunned silence. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Moony: Hey

Padfoot: hey

Moony: I had fun on our date today!

Padfoot: me too

Padfoot: was definitely not expecting that kiss at the end

Moony: Ugggh, I’m sorry.

Moony: I don’t know what came over me. I’m so embarrassed.

Padfoot: what?

Padfoot: no!

Padfoot: that was awesome

Padfoot: wouldn’t mind another one tbh

Moony: Oh, shut up.

Padfoot: it’s true

Moony: That was a really good idea, by the way.

Padfoot: what was?

Moony: Watching Basker…

Moony: In the study room…

Moony: Things were kinda awkward at first. So... thanks…

Moony: For making me a bit more comfortable.

Padfoot: yeah that was weird

Padfoot: I think coffee shops just aren’t our thing

Padfoot: we should just stick to nerding out about tv shows from now on

Moony: Deal.

Padfoot: speaking of nerding out

Padfoot: you never did say what you thought of the episode

Moony: Not gonna lie, I didn’t pay any attention.

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: I thought so

Padfoot: was I that distracting?

Moony: Don’t flatter yourself.

Moony: I was just tired is all.

Padfoot: suuuure

Moony: Shut up.

Padfoot: you first

Padfoot: Anyway, did you want to rewatch it now?

Moony: … I guess?

Moony: I’ve got this assignment for a class that I have to finish up. It’s a group assignment. And I’m partnered with this annoying kid from my class…

Padfoot: oh that sounds horrible

Padfoot: whatever will you do

Padfoot: guess it’s a good thing the assignment isn't due this week

Padfoot: oh wait

Moony: All joking aside, we should work on it, though. 

Padfoot: cmon moons

Padfoot: this is hanging out time

Padfoot: not assignment time

Moony: Fine. Wanna meet tomorrow to work on it?

Moony: I have class until 4.

Padfoot: fine

Padfoot: we can meet at five in the library

Padfoot: happy now?

Moony: Yup.

Padfoot: basker?

Moony: Fine.

Moony: Lemme download it.

Moony: How’s Prongs, btw? Did you tell him and Lily that we’ve… made up?

Padfoot: I mean

Padfoot: I’m not moping around in my room anymore

Padfoot: so it’s kind of obvious

Moony: I’m sorry about that, by the way…

Padfoot: nope

Padfoot: no more

Padfoot: that’s your last free apology

Padfoot: this past week sucked

Padfoot: let’s just move on and not dwell on it 

Padfoot: k?

Moony: Okay.

Moony: I’m sorry.

Padfoot: ten pence

Moony: I knew that one was coming…

Moony: Download is finished. Ready?

Padfoot: play

Moony: Oh damn! I didn’t realize they’d get on that well!

Padfoot: they are brothers

Moony: Half brothers.

Moony: I guess Basker’s gonna study under Leiton now…?

Padfoot: yeah

Padfoot: he’s definitely a bad guy

Moony: What?

Padfoot: leiton

Padfoot: he’s not evil per se

Padfoot: but he’s gonna be the villain next season

Moony: … Okay. If you say so.

Moony: You haven’t been wrong thus far, so I’m definitely inclined to believe you.

Padfoot: inclined to believe me?

Padfoot: dork

Moony: Shut up.

Moony: Wait, why did he say no?

Padfoot: he doesn’t want to replace quen

Moony: Dude, you need this! You can’t fulfill your quest without your brother! What the hell?!

Padfoot: settle down champ

Padfoot: he’ll be okay

Moony: Shut up.

Moony: That’s it?!

Moony: Okay, that was not a satisfying ending to the episode.

Padfoot: good thing the next one airs next monday

Moony: I think it’s the last episode of the season next week, right?

Padfoot: yup

Moony: Uggh… what are we gonna watch once that’s done?

Padfoot: I’m sure we’ll find something

Padfoot: btw

Padfoot: totally off topic

Padfoot: do you wanna come to boardgame night on friday?

Padfoot: worms can’t come

Padfoot: but I’d really like you there

Moony: Oh… Uh…

Moony: Sure?

Moony: Are you sure you want me there?

Padfoot: yes

Padfoot: I really do

Padfoot: and lily will be there too

Padfoot: so it’ll be you me prongs and lily

Moony: That sounds kind of fun, actually.

Moony: Sure. I’ll be there.

Padfoot: cool

Padfoot: we’ll figure out our plans for it tomorrow

Padfoot: fuck

Padfoot: I missed this so much

Padfoot: I really fucking missed you moons

Moony: I missed you too, Pads.

Padfoot: k it’s getting late

Padfoot: I should head to bed

Padfoot: see you tomorrow

Padfoot: library at five

Moony: See you tomorrow.

Moony: Goodnight!

Padfoot: night moons

Padfoot: love you

Moony: x

Padfoot: x


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Remus arrived at the library, Sirius was already sitting at one of the study tables in the front, reading a beat-up old copy of Timetale Series: The First Door. It was a softcover that had dogeared pages and a cracked spine, obviously worn from frequent use. Remus smiled to himself as he watched Sirius’ silvery eyes scan back and forth across the pages; his own copy of the first Timetale book looked surprisingly similar to Sirius’. 

Remus approached Sirius’ table unnoticed.

“Hey.”

Sirius made a startled noise as his head shot up, laughing at his own foolishness when he realized that it was Remus who greeted him.

“Hey Moons,” he cooed softly, sending shivers up Remus’ arms. He wasn’t used to hearing his nickname aloud from Sirius— he definitely didn’t realize just how nice it would sound in his raspy timbre. 

“Ready to work on our presentation and essay?” Remus asked with a smirk. He could see the momentary disappointment spread across his boyfriend's face before Sirius caught himself and forced a smile. 

“Yeah, presentation... Philosophy…”

Remus chuckled softly and rolled his eyes before leading the way to an empty corner of the library— the same corner they had previously worked in together with the old sofa that barely fit two people. Remus sat down and plugged his laptop into the wall, noticing that Sirius positioned himself much closer to him than the last time they were there. 

When he looked up, Remus realized that Sirius didn’t have his computer out and was instead staring at Remus, sparkling grey eyes flashing with something that he couldn’t quite place. 

“Sirius?”

Sirius reached a hand up, gently grazing Remus’ cheek with his thumb, brushing a loose curl behind his ear, causing his heart to skip a beat. Remus cleared his throat, forcing himself to remain focused on the task at hand.

“So…” His voice came out more like a squeak than a word. He cleared his throat again, running a hand through his tousled curls and willing his cheeks to stop glowing so brightly. “So… Ready to start? Determinism.”

“Mmm… Determinism…” Sirius muttered, molten pools of silver boring into Remus’ eyes— hungry, purposeful, unwavering. 

“Sirius…” Remus’ voice was barely a sigh as Sirius’ hand lingered by his ear, his face growing ever closer. “We have work to do…”

“Yeah… work…” Sirius echoed, paying no attention to the words he was saying. He pressed closer, his lips almost touching Remus’ own, his thumb tracing nearly imperceptible circles along Remus’ jaw. Remus knew if he closed the gap between them, his resolve would be completely lost; he would be putty in Sirius’ hands, lost in the feverish passion of the moment.

Remus abruptly pulled away, groaning slightly at himself for choosing schoolwork over Sirius’ slightly parted mouth, soft and tender and begging to be tasted. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, steeling himself against Sirius’ protests.

“No, Padfoot. We have to do work.”

Using Sirius’ nickname was a bad decision. 

When Remus opened his eyes, all he could see was a toothy grin, much less dignified than Sirius’ typical smirk, his soft grey eyes crinkling in mirth. Remus felt his heart melt in his chest as Sirius beamed at him. 

“ _ Seriously… _ ”

“Later,” Sirius whispered, his dopey grin remaining on his lips. “I just wanna kiss you, Moons.”

Remus didn’t recognize the sound that left his mouth, half way between a groan and a whine. He was caught between his desire to finish his project and his incessant need to throw himself at Sirius, feel those lips against his own, weave his hands through inky black locks and never let go.

"Ahem…"

Remus tore his eyes away from Sirius and stared open-mouthed at the librarian who had just approached their corner. She stood perfectly still, arms crossed, lips pursed in a permanent scowl, glaring at the two boys practically canoodling on the couch.

"Evening, Madame Pince," Remus choked out, his voice slightly hoarse.

The stern woman raised an eyebrow suspiciously in response, tapping her foot against the carpeted floor.

"We're… just doing our assignment for Professor Kettleburn…" Remus was positive that the librarian knew exactly what they were doing, and had seen several students partaking in similar activities in the past. He thanked his lucky stars that he didn't allow himself to press forward and get caught snogging Sirius in the middle of the library.

"This is your first strike," Madame Pince said coldly before turning away and marching down the aisles of books to catch other students misbehaving.

Remus let out a sigh of relief as Sirius chuckled beside him.

"That was a close one," Padfoot muttered into Remus' ear, causing the hair in his neck to prickle.

"No. No more," Remus said firmly, turning to his boyfriend and gently pushing him away. "We have an assignment to do."

Before Sirius had a chance to protest, Remus had pulled his computer onto his lap and began typing an outline, ignoring the look that Sirius was obviously giving him.

From the corner of his eye, Remus noticed Sirius pull his own computer out with a resigned sigh, opening their shared document and adding to their notes. 

Fortunately for Remus, the rest of the evening passed uneventfully, and they managed to get a large chunk of their essays finished. It took Remus' stomach rumbling for him to realize how late it was. He glanced at the time on his computer and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Pads, it's nearly half past nine!"

Sirius leaned over Remus to check his clock, and nodded in agreement.

"So it is… Hungry?"

Remus was, but he also knew that if he spent any more time with Sirius, he would have a very difficult time controlling himself.

"Who are we kidding, of course you're hungry. Let's get dinner." Sirius packed his bag up and offered Remus his hand, which Remus accepted graciously. By the time the boys were out of the library and on their way to the bus stop, it was already a quarter to ten. 

"Where do you wanna go for dinner?" Sirius asked casually as they waited for the bus. 

"Uh…" Remus kicked at a stone on the ground, trying to come up with an excuse to tell Sirius. He settled on the truth. "I think maybe we should just go home…"

"Ooh! Good idea! Homemade food!" 

"No, that's not what I— "

Remus didn't have a chance to protest, Sirius was already prattling on about James' mom's cooking and the leftovers in his fridge.

"Sirius," Remus said softly, causing Sirius to stop mid sentence.

"Hmm?"

"I… I don't… I think maybe I should just go to my place." Sirius opened his mouth, but Remus continued quickly before the inevitable rebuttal. " _ Alone. _ I just… it's getting late, yeah? We'll see each other tomorrow."

"Oh…" 

Remus could tell from Sirius' expression that he was disappointed, but he didn't argue. When the bus arrived, the boys got on in silence. After a few stops, Sirius eventually spoke up.

"So… I'll text you our address. Board games are tomorrow at five."

Remus looked over to Sirius and smiled, but it wasn't returned.

"Um… want me to bring anything?"

Sirius shrugged before flipping his phone open and texting away, his thumbs flying across the keys. Remus felt his own phone buzz in his pocket and realized that the text must have been from Sirius.

"See you tomorrow, Remus," Sirius muttered, getting up out of his seat and pressing the  _ next stop _ button. Remus opened his mouth to speak but struggled to get any words out. The bus stopped and Sirius headed towards the front door. He looked over his shoulder and nodded at Remus, who gave his boyfriend a feeble smile and a wave.

As Sirius stepped off the bus, Remus called out to him.

"Good night!"

He was fairly certain that Sirius didn't hear.


	4. Chapter 4

Moony: What was that all about?

Padfoot: what was what all about?

Moony: On the bus! You got all quiet and grumpy!

Padfoot: me?!

Padfoot: you're the one who didn't want to go on a date with me

Moony: I never said that!

Moony: I was just tired, Pads!

Padfoot: too tired for dinner with your boyfriend?

Moony: Yes! It's been a long day!

Padfoot: so we have takeout and watch sas

Padfoot: or we just sit and chill

Padfoot: we didn't have to do anything

Padfoot: I just wanted some time with you

Moony: Sirius. This whole relationship is new… there's just a lot that I have to get used to…

Padfoot: but it's not new moons!

Padfoot: we've been dating for weeks!

Moony: It's not the same, Pads.

Padfoot: the fuck it isn't

Padfoot: you're just afraid so you're making things weird when they don't have to be

Padfoot: we chill all the time moons

Padfoot: shit we're even chilling right now

Padfoot: why are you okay talking on here but not hanging out irl?

Moony: Because I'm an introvert, Sirius! Because being around people is overwhelming for me and it takes a lot of energy! 

Padfoot: even being around your boyfriend?

Moony: In person? Yes! 

Moony: You don't get it! The longer I spend with people, the more drained I get. It's exhausting. I could be having fun, the time of my life even, but I'd still be exhausted! 

Moony: I love you.

Moony: I love being around you.

Moony: You make me happy. 

Moony: But I need time to recharge.

Moony: I need Moony time so that I can be the person that you fell in love with whenever we are together. Otherwise, you're going to be left with… well, someone who isn't quite me.

Padfoot: ok

Moony: Remember the spoon metaphor?

Moony: I'm out of spoons. I just… I need to get some more.

Padfoot: I understand

Moony: I'm sorry, Pads.

Padfoot: no

Padfoot: don't be

Padfoot: this is on me

Padfoot: I should have noticed that you were getting tired

Padfoot: I should have paid more attention

Padfoot: I'm the one who should be sorry

Padfoot: and I am

Padfoot: I'm sorry

Moony: It's okay, Pads…

Padfoot: no it's not

Padfoot: I was a prick

Padfoot: but I guess that's what relationships are

Padfoot: they're about learning

Padfoot: and I am learning

Padfoot: and I know not to push you too hard in the future

Moony: Thanks.

Padfoot: I love you moons

Moony: Yeah, I know. 

Padfoot: dick

Moony: Twat.

Padfoot: are you… still okay to come over tomorrow?

Moony: Of course!

Moony: I'm excited for it!

Padfoot: good

Padfoot: me too

Moony: I'll text Lily, maybe she can give me a lift so that I don't have to take the bus… that would be nice.

Padfoot: no pressure or anything

Padfoot: but you're always welcome to stay over if you want

Padfoot: we have a futon

Padfoot: or… you know… my bed

Padfoot: just for sleeping

Padfoot: nothing you don't want to do

Padfoot: ok I'm gonna shut up now

Padfoot: pretty sure I'm making a fool of myself

Moony: No, it's sweet. Thanks for the offer.

Moony: I'll think about it.

Padfoot: sounds perfect

Padfoot: so… think we have time for sas tonight?

Moony: It's pretty late. That might have to wait for another night.

Moony: I think it might be time for sleep.

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: night moons

Padfoot: I'm sorry again for pushing too hard

Moony: Ten pence.

Padfoot: lol

Moony: Good night.

Moony: x

Padfoot: x


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing yesterday's chapter drop! This chapter is a bit longer, so it took me a little longer to write. I hope it's worth the wait!
> 
> Thanks Ro for being a great beta and making sure my fic was ready to post!!

Lily and Remus arrived at their boyfriends' flat at precisely 5:05, much to Remus' dismay. He was used to being early at all times, and the fact that Lily had been fifteen minutes late to pick him up exacerbated his stress.

Remus clutched at his plastic shopping bag nervously, shifting his weight from foot to foot, waiting for someone to answer their knock on the door. After a moment, the door swung open and James' face appeared, beaming brightly at his girlfriend and Remus.

"Welcome, Moony! Hey, Lils!" James gave Lily a kiss and turned to Remus, pulling him into a tight hug. Remus stared uncomfortably at Lily as she giggled quietly; he wasn't used to being shown so much affection from people he hardly knew.

"Hey, sweetheart," Lily sang as she pushed past James into the flat.

"Hi," Remus mumbled as James threw and arm around his shoulders and ushered him inside.

"Moons!"

Remus looked up to find Sirius leaping off the living room sofa and bounding towards him, and suddenly, all of his anxiety seemed to evaporate into thin air. The twinkle in his eyes, the gleam from his grin, Sirius instantly put Remus at ease, the way he always somehow managed to. He captured Remus in a tight hug, which Remus returned happily. When Sirius pulled away, he eyed the shopping bag suspiciously, quirking a brow at his boyfriend.

"Oh…" Remus raised the bag in his hand, offering it to Sirius. "I brought some snacks and stuff. I wasn't sure what people liked so— "

"So he bought the whole store!" Lily laughed as she took the bag from Remus and began emptying it on the kitchen counter.

"Not the whole store," Remus muttered as his boyfriend laughed beside him. Remus grinned, allowing Sirius to toss an arm over his shoulders and pulled him into a gentle side-hug. 

Lily pulled out candies and crisps, chocolates and biscuits; Remus had bought nearly every snack food available, throwing a dozen darts and hoping something would stick. He needed to make a good first impression, so he figured he wouldn't take any chances.

"Shit, Moons! Did you leave any for the other customers?" Sirius laughed at his own joke and James enthusiastically joined in. Remus rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, but couldn't suppress his smile; there was something contagious about Sirius' heady laughter, something that spread through a room and filled people up inside. 

With his tension eased, Remus suddenly found it easier to socialize, and as the night continued, he grew more and more comfortable. He already knew Lily and Sirius, and James' sense of humour meshed nicely with his own, resulting in a fun evening filled with food, beer, board games and playful banter. Despite the bickering and yelling, Remus was so absorbed in the games night that he didn't pay any attention to the time.

"Shit," Sirius swore under his breath, checking his phone.

"What? Not enough brick for your encampment?" James teased, holding up his four brick cards triumphantly. 

"No…" Sirius flashed Remus an apologetic smile. "It's after midnight…"

"Shit," James swore, mirroring his best mate and checking his watch. "So it is."

"I should probably head home…" Remus mumbled, pulling himself up from his spot on the floor and groaning as he rose to his knees. He had been leaning against Sirius and couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment at the absence of the warm body next to him.

"I mean…" Sirius began, but he cut himself off, his gaze drifting to the cards in his hand.

"Lils, you staying here tonight?" James asked his girlfriend, tucking a loose strand of auburn hair behind her ears. 

"I wasn't planning to, unless…" 

Remus suddenly became aware of the three pairs of eyes that settled on him, and he stared intently at the game board on the coffee table. He wasn't sure if he was ready to spend a night with Sirius, but if he went home, Lily would have to drive him. Remus swallowed hard, considering his options, before he felt fingertips gently brush against his arm. He looked up, noticing Sirius smiling softly at him, warm grey eyes smouldering with affection.

"Lemme take you home," Sirius whispered. In an instant, Remus made a sudden decision. He shook his head, leaned forward, and pressed his lips against Sirius' cheek. 

"I don't really have anything going on tomorrow… it's…" He took a deep breath and steadied himself. "It's not a big deal if I stay the night."

Sirius practically jumped to his feet, dragging Remus up with him. He squeezed his boyfriend tightly, almost pushing the air from his lungs. 

"You sure?" He asked excitedly as he pulled away, cheeks turning a soft shade of pink, hands clasping Remus' in his own.

Remus chuckled softly at his boyfriend; seeing Sirius this excited washed away the anxiety that Remus was initially feeling at the prospect of sleeping over. 

Remus nodded and Sirius bounded towards his bedroom, his boyfriend in tow.

"Night Prongs, night Lils!" Sirius called out behind him, barely glancing at the other two.

"Oh… uh… goodnight guys," Remus offered awkwardly, Sirius tugging at his hand, trying to pull him to privacy. 

Lily and James laughed, waving enthusiastically at Remus.

"Night, Reme. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Lily teased, before Sirius shut the door and flopped into his bed, leaving Remus standing awkwardly in front of the threshold.

"Sas?"

Remus blinked, trying to make sense of what had just happened, the past thirty seconds a complete blur.

"Uh…"

"Sas! Swords and Sorcery! Wanna watch?"

Remus eyed Sirius incredulously.

"That's why you dragged me in here? To… watch tv?"

Sirius gave a little bounce in the bed, grinning at his boyfriend like an expectant puppy.

"Yup! I just wanted some Moony time!"

Remus cocked an eyebrow. Surely this was just an excuse to get Remus alone in bed; after all, who would leave a weekly board game night with friends just to watch a TV show with someone? Who would be that excited about Swords and Sorcery?

Sirius.

That's who.

Remus smiled to himself, knowing that Padfoot was exactly the kind of dork to hide in his bedroom and watch TV with his boyfriend.

"Yeah, okay," Remus answered, walking towards the bed and settling down next to Sirius. "Swords and Sorcery."

As Sirius pulled out his laptop and began setting up the episode, Remus took a moment to absorb his surroundings. This was the first time he had ever seen Sirius' room, and he was not disappointed. The walls of the room were lined with posters from movies and shows, with the occasional drawing scattered about. There were two bookshelves filled entirely with books and figurines, many of which Remus could recognize from a quick glance. Tucked into the far corner were two guitars; one acoustic and one electric. There was a cluttered desk against a wall that was littered with drawing utensils, writing supplies and loose sheets of paper. Remus thought he recognized a drawing of Basker and Leiton, but he couldn't be positive from his spot on the bed.

"Ready?"

Sirius' voice snapped Remus out of his musing and when he looked at his boyfriend, a coy smile was spread across Sirius' face. 

"Like what you see?"

"Mmhmm," Remus said, nodding. "Your bedroom's really cool… I like the posters..."

"Thanks." Sirius ran a hand through his hair sheepishly, his pale cheeks showing a hint of redness. "So… ready for the episode?"

"Yup."

Sirius settled back against the headboard with a pillow behind him and the computer on his lap. He spread his arm out and gave his boyfriend a grin, indicating that Remus should snuggle up close. 

Remus could feel his heart racing as he sidled up next to Sirius, letting his partner's arm drape over his shoulders, humming happily as he felt his boyfriend's thumb rubbing affectionately along his skin. Remus was so preoccupied with the feeling of being that close to Sirius, he almost didn't notice that the episode had begun.

Remus' head rested on Sirius' chest, acutely aware of the steady, rhythmic rise and fall caused by his boyfriend's breathing. He could smell stale cigarette smoke lingering on the band t-shirt, the musky spice from Sirius' cologne. Try as he may, Remus knew there was no way he could pay attention to the computer screen and whatever happened to be playing on it. Remus shifted his body and lifted his head slightly, causing Sirius to look down at him, grey eyes aflame, a sly grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

Slowly— painfully slowly— Remus raised his head higher, bringing his face closer to Sirius', until their noses were almost brushing. Sirius' eyes followed his movements, flicking down to his lips for a moment before boring deep into Remus' gaze, stormy grey irises clouded with lust. Remus' eyes wandered down to Sirius' tongue, which was darting out to lick his lips, slightly parted and enticingly plump. 

Remus closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed forward, pressing his mouth against Sirius' before pulling back. Sirius was smirking, his eyes gleaming. He brought a hand gingerly up to Remus' face, his thumb grazing lightly against his cheekbone. Sirius leaned forward, his lips connecting with Remus', slightly parted and begging for more. As Remus felt Sirius deepen the kiss, he responded in kind, opening his mouth, letting Sirius' tongue slide against his own.

Before he knew what was happening, Remus' hands were woven through Sirius' hair as the two boys were locked in a passionate embrace. He felt Sirius' hands running across his body, down his torso, along his leg. The flavour of that evening's beer lingered on Sirius' tongue as Remus tasted it, pulling their bodies close, hungry for more. Sirius nipped gently at the bottom of Remus' lip and Remus' body pushed forward involuntarily, his hips grinding against Sirius'. 

Sirius pulled away and, as suddenly as it started, the kiss was over.

Both boys faced each other, panting slightly, the laptop left forgotten beside them with Swords and Sorcery still playing. Sirius' hand brushed an arrant curl from Remus' eyes as he grinned at the man he was just snogging.

"Wow…" He whispered under his breath, barely audible over the sounds of battle from the computer.

"Yeah…" Remus responded, still trying to wrap his mind around what just happened. 

Sirius leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Remus', and lovingly rubbed their noses together.

"Fuck," he swore quietly before pulling away again. "I've wanted to do that for so long." Sirius ran his thumb along Remus' cheek, weaving the tips of his fingers through tawny curls.

Remus looked away shyly, his face burning, as he realized just how badly he had also wanted to kiss Sirius, and how desperately he wanted that kiss to continue. 

"You okay?" Sirius asked, and when Remus looked up, he could see the concern etched over every inch of his boyfriend's handsome features. He smiled softly and nodded.

"Yeah, better than okay…" Remus mumbled softly, bringing a hand to Sirius' chest, tracing lazy circles along his torso. "I've… wanted to do that, too."

"You're so fuckin' cute, Moons. It's killing me," Sirius purred softly, pressing a kiss into Remus' neck and eliciting an affectionate chuckle. 

Remus nudged Sirius cheek with his own, and when he lifted his head up, captured Sirius' lips in another heated kiss.

Tongue swirled around tongue, fingers tangled in hair, bodies rutted together in synch as Remus lost himself entirely in the embrace, his mind filled with only one thought: Sirius. Remus let out a soft moan as Sirius nipped gently at his lip and their movements grew more feverish, more voracious. A hand wandered up Remus' shirt, along his back, raking across his skin. 

Slender fingers tickled the skin just above his waistband and suddenly Remus' stomach tightened. He pulled away, panting, trying to collect his thoughts and cool down his racing heart. Sirius pressed a kiss into Remus' neck, drawing out a small gasp before Remus pulled himself further back.

"Wait," he managed to choke out between heavy breaths.

Sirius brought a hand to Remus' face, tucking loose curls behind his ear, rubbing affectionately along his jaw.

"What's wrong?" Remus glanced away in shame, but Sirius raised his chin up and leaned in to plant a delicate kiss on his freckled cheek. "Talk to me, Moons…"

"I just…" Remus began, searching his brain for the right words to say. "I'm just…"

"Too fast?" Sirius offered, silvery eyes searching Remus' own for an answer. Remus nodded slowly. To his surprise, Sirius responded with a gentle smile. "It's okay, Moons. Don't be afraid to tell me that, alright? If things are moving too fast, just… just say something."

Remus could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes, his throat tightening around his vocal cords; he was dangerously close to tears and he didn't want Sirius to see him cry right then. He swallowed hard and pressed his face into Sirius' chest, squeezing him tightly. 

"Thank you," he mumbled into the fabric as Sirius kissed the top of his head.

Sirius chuckled softly, running has hands up and down Remus' back.

"You don't need to thank me… of course it's fine. You're the most important thing to me, Moons. I'd never want to do anything to make you uncomfortable." Sirius nuzzled into Remus' hair, pulling their bodies closer together. "I love you."

Remus' hands grasped at the fabric on the back of Sirius' shirt as tears spilled onto the front. Remus had never heard a partner say that aloud to him before and he was slightly overwhelmed with how it made him feel. 

"Hey," Sirius whispered into Remus' ear. "Wanna just go to bed? It's getting kind of late."

Remus nodded again, worried that answering aloud would reveal the fact that he was feeling emotional. Sirius kissed his head one more time before untangling their bodies and pulling himself away. Remus hurriedly dried his eyes as Sirius put away his laptop, seemingly oblivious to Remus' tears. Remus swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, unsure of what he was supposed to do next. 

"Wanna borrow a pair of pyjamas?" Sirius called out as he tucked his computer into its bag.

"Oh… uh…" Remus shifted his feet nervously. "I don't… I usually just wear my boxers and a shirt…"

Sirius straightened up with a chuckle. 

"Same. Minus the shirt part. I just wasn't sure if you'd want some." He ran a hand through his hair as he stood on the other side of the bed, looking at his partner. Remus was suddenly acutely aware of how little clothing he would be wearing in front of Sirius.

"Um… maybe I should... go to the sofa?" Sirius couldn't hide his look of disappointment at the statement and Remus regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. 

"Yeah, if… if that's what you want. If it makes you more comfortable."

"No, I…" Remus felt his cheeks heat up as he stammered awkwardly, completely flustered. "I just… I mean…" He took a deep breath. "I wanna sleep in your bed, I just… I don't want to do anything."

A broad smile spread across Sirius' face at Remus' response. He bit his lip nervously.

"Want me to leave my shirt on?"

"Is that okay?

"Of course it is, Moons."

Sirius began undressing and Remus immediately averted his eyes out of politeness and habit, garnering a deep chuckle from his boyfriend. 

"Really?"

"Shut up," he mumbled, taking off his own socks and jeans and hurriedly shimmying under the covers. 

Sirius gave a cocky smirk as he walked over to the lightswitch and flicked it off before joining Remus in bed.

"Turn around," he whispered softly, wrapping his arms around Remus, who immediately obliged. Sirius positioned his body so that he was holding his boyfriend close to himself, his face buried in Remus' loose curls. 

With the lights off and rise and fall of Sirius' chest, Remus found himself drifting off. The last thing he remembered was his racing heart and Sirius' steady breathing, warm against the back of his neck. He fell asleep with Sirius' body pressed closely against his own, a scene that he had pictured dozens of times in the past— except now it was finally real.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun was blaring through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room, causing Remus to stir and open his eyes. He blinked once, twice, trying to get his bearings. His first response was panic; he was in an unfamiliar location and he had no idea how he got there. As the fog of sleep dissipated and his brain finally took over, Remus remembered exactly where he was and why he was there. 

Remus had woken up in Sirius' bed.

It was an odd sensation; Remus had never spent the night in bed with someone he was dating. Of course, he and Lily had fallen asleep together, but their relationship had been strictly platonic since the beginning. This was different. Remus was in Sirius' bed, his head on Sirius' pillow. Sirius' arm was wrapped around him, Sirius' body pressed against his. It was Sirius' breathing that he felt behind him, Sirius' leg lazily draped over his own. 

Sirius' morning wood pressed into his arse.

Remus felt his cheeks grow hot at the thought, the idea of Sirius' arousal sending a wave of fire down his stomach and creeping lower. He closed his eyes, trying to get his mind out of the gutter, bringing his thoughts back to the perfect morning scene that he had awoken to. 

Remus was in bed with Sirius. Both boys had their shirts and boxers on. Nothing particularly sexual had happened the night before, and Remus was eternally grateful to Sirius for respecting his boundaries. He had originally been terrified of staying the night, but now, in the light of the morning, he could hardly remember why. Lying there in bed next to Sirius felt like the most natural thing in the world; that was where Remus belonged, in Sirius' arms, under Sirius' blankets.

Remus felt his boyfriend shift slightly behind him. He carefully turned his head, trying to see if Sirius had woken up.

"Hey, sleepy head," Sirius mumbled as soon as his eyes met Remus'. His voice was deep and raspy in the morning. Remus struggled to keep his wits about him. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

Remus shook his head, his smile growing wider by the second.

"Nah… how long have you been up for?"

Sirius did the best impression of a shrug that he could manage while lying down.

"No idea. Haven't checked the time…" He gave Remus a gentle squeeze and a peck on the cheek. "I didn't wanna let go…"

Remus hummed appreciatively before placing a tender kiss on Sirius' lips.

"Hang on, lemme check my…" Remus paused as he looked over at the empty nightstand beside him and his heart sank. "I never charged it, did I…"

"Shit...Sorry…I didn't remind you."

"No, it's fine. I'll plug it in now."

Remus made to get up but Sirius let out a petulant whine, keeping Remus in his embrace.

"No, don't go. This is too nice. I don't want it to end…"

Remus rolled his eyes and nudged his boyfriend with his elbow. 

"I'm just gonna charge my phone, Pads. I'm coming back into bed after."

Sirius let out a groan and reluctantly released Remus, letting him slide himself out of bed. As Remus stood up, he couldn't help but notice the smirk spreading across Sirius' face and the way that boyfriend gave his body a once-over. 

"Hey!" Remus scolded playfully. "Eyes to yourself!"

Sirius made a show of covering his eyes.

"Is it my fault that my boyfriend is so attractive?"

"Oh no, are you dating someone else?" Remus teased in his self-deprecating way as he pulled his phone from the pocket of his jeans, splayed across the floor. 

"Shut up. You're sexy. Deal with it."

Remus rolled his eyes, tugging his charger from his satchel and plugging his phone into the wall beside the bed.

"I'm not…" Remus slid himself back into bed, facing Sirius, who quirked an eyebrow skeptically.

"Want me to prove it?" His words sounded almost threatening, his smile giving off a hint of malice. Remus' eyebrows drew together in confusion for a moment before he realized what Sirius was referring to.

" _ Oh… _ umm…"

Sirius laughed, tugging Remus closer, rubbing their noses together.

"I'm kidding, Moons. Don't worry…"

Remus' chest tightened as he came to terms with the two sides of his mind. One part of him desperately wanted to take Sirius up on his offer and see  _ exactly _ how turned on Sirius was by his body. The other part of Remus wanted these loving, non-sexual cuddles, keeping himself safe and protected.

Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius and pulled himself closer to his boyfriend, trying to hide the slight turmoil on his face. Sirius rolled onto his back, pulling Remus with him so that his chest could be used as a pillow. Remus sighed happily and nuzzled into his partner, relishing the intimacy of the moment. He tossed a leg over top of Sirius' and let out a soft  _ mmm _ when the tips of his boyfriend's fingers trailed lines up and down his spine. 

"I love you," Remus whispered softly. The words had escaped his mouth before he had a chance to think them through, but he wasn't disappointed. This seemed right. Everything about this moment was perfect and Remus knew there would never be a better time to say them aloud.

"I love you too, Moons," Sirius mumbled into Remus' hair, kissing the top of his head. "So much."

Then, as if the universe had decided that things were too perfect, the boys were suddenly startled by a continuous thumping against the door.

"Padfoot!  _ Get up _ !"

"Fuck  _ off _ , Prongs," Sirius yelled at the door, an exasperated groan escaping his lips.

"It's eleven thirty!"

" _ Shit _ ."

Just like that, the moment was over.

Sirius pulled himself out from under Remus, planting an apologetic kiss on his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Moons. I don't mean to leave you or anything but I— "

"Have work at noon," Remus finished Sirius' sentence with a smile. "It's okay, I get it. I'll get out of your hair."

"No!" Sirius looked over to Remus, mid-way through gathering his uniform. "I don't want you out of my—"

"I know!" Remus laughed, rolling his eyes, as he sat up in bed. "I was kidding! I know you have work, Pads! We've been dating for weeks, remember? Now get dressed. I don't want you to be late!"

Sirius smiled at his boyfriend and returned to his task at hand. Without thinking he pulled his shirt off and made to take off his boxers before he heard Remus let out a startled noise. 

"Oh  _ shit _ , sorry Moons," Sirius said apologetically, covering his well defined abs back up with the _ Who _ logo. Remus covered his face with his hands, mainly to hide how red he was from embarrassment. 

"I'm good," he choked out, turning away from Sirius and forcing his mind to focus on the least sexy thoughts he could think of. He grabbed his jeans and his socks and put them on slowly, giving Sirius plenty of time to clothe himself without Remus watching. Remus closed his eyes and tried to focus on the image of Lily's ex boyfriend wearing his grandmother's clothing.

_ Snape in stockings and a fur coat… _

_ Snape in stockings and a fur coat... _

"Hey dork… you can turn around now."

Remus turned back to Sirius, smiling awkwardly as he stared at his boyfriend in a barista uniform. Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus, grabbed his bag and made his way to the bedroom door. Remus followed suit and they both stood in the main room, face to face with James and Lily.

"Had a good night?" Lily teased as James berated Sirius for waking up so late. 

"It was fine," Remus muttered, trying to distract from his blush by running his fingers through his hair. Lily giggled in response, nudging her friend gently in the ribs. Remus let out a resigned sigh, knowing that Lily was going to affectionately pester him for the next day or so. 

“Oi! C’mon! Let’s  _ go _ already!” James was tapping his foot impatiently, trying to heard everyone out the door to the flat. Remus raised an eyebrow at Lily, unsure of what he was supposed to do. She wove her arm through his and led him out the door ahead of Sirius and James. 

“James is gonna give Sirius a lift to work. Wanna join them at the coffee shop? Or do you wanna chill with me today? Or just spend some time on your own?”

Remus shrugged as he considered his options, trying to decide how to spend his Saturday. Normally, he would be exhausted after a night of socializing, but he did have a lot that he wanted to talk to Lily about, and he was surprisingly alert, all things considered.

“Whatever you want,” Remus said, glancing over at Sirius, who flashed him a coy smile. 

“Well, let’s head to Moondoe with the boys, then. We’ll take my car so that we can leave whenever we’re ready.” 

“Sounds like a plan.”

Once the four of them were in the car park, Lily gave James a kiss goodbye before heading off in the other direction. Remus and Sirius hesitated, awkwardly staring at each other for a moment, trying to figure out what felt the most comfortable for them. They were interrupted by James grabbing Sirius and dragging him away, grumbling about being his mother and running late.

“Bye, Moons!” Sirius called, waiving at his boyfriend.

“See you in a bit, Pads!”

The moment Lily and Remus were in the car, Lily turned to her friend, an expectant smile on her face.

"Soooo?"

"Just drive, Lils," Remus chided, trying to keep the subject away from Sirius.

"I'm driving, I'm driving! But I want details, Reme! Spill!"

Remus took a steadying breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

"If I tell you, will you stop bugging me?"

" _ Yes! _ Tell me!"

He opened his eyes, focusing his gaze on the zipper that he was fiddling with in his hands.

"We didn't do anything."

" _ Liar _ ."

Remus rolled his eyes before continuing.

"I mean… we didn't  _ really _ do anything. We snogged... that's about it."

Lily raised an eyebrow, but kept her attention on the road.

"You mean to tell me you spent the night at your boyfriend's place, in his bed, and all you did was snog?"

"Yup. He was really respectful, actually. It was really nice."

"Man, he must really love you," she teased, but Remus didn't smile. "I'm sorry. It was a joke… it was in poor taste."

"It's fine," Remus mumbled, picking at his nails nervously. "I just… I didn't want anything else to happen and it didn't. It was perfect."

"And… he  _ knows _ , right?"

Remus let out an exasperated sigh. He loved Lily dearly, but sometimes she could be a bit indelicate with certain subjects. 

"Yes, Lily, he knows I'm trans. I wouldn't get into a relationship with someone without telling them. That's not fair to anyone."

"Right… yeah…"

"He says he's fine with it," Remus muttered to his hands. "That's all I need to know."

"Of course! And that's great! I just wasn't sure if you had told him… 'cause… you know…"

"I don't want to do anything yet. I'm not ready for it. I told him that and he's cool with it. Can we just drop this, please?" Remus glanced over to Lily and realized that his tone may have been harsher than he had intended. She had a firm grip on the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white with the pressure, and her eyes were slightly glassy. "I'm sorry, Lils. I just…"

"No, I get it," Lily said softly, her voice strained. "I pushed too far. I shouldn't have made you talk about stuff. Sometimes I forget… you know? When I'm chatting with Marls, we talk about sex and boys and stuff and… I should have realized."

"It's fine." Remus stared out the window, watching houses zip by. "I… want to be open about stuff like this. I don't want there to be any stigma or miscommunication, especially with friends. I know it's important to keep this kind of dialogue going, to normalize it, I just… it's hard."

"I know, Reme. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Lils. You should always be able to ask me questions. And I want to be able to answer them…" 

The car fell into silence for a bit, while Remus sorted through his emotions in his head, trying to figure out how much to say and what he should withhold.

"I've never had sex before," he admitted, keeping his focus outside the car window.

"Oh…" Lily stared straight ahead, her eyes on the road. "I… didn't realize…"

"Mhmm… and starting now, after being on T for a few years… there's a lot for me to learn. And… the fact that Sirius is cool with taking it slow… he's the type of guy I'd be willing to learn with." Remus could feel the blush creep across his cheeks as he admitted the truth aloud.

"Oh, Remus… I'm so happy you found someone like that… He sounds perfect for you." Lily's voice was so loving, so genuine, Remus couldn't help but smile. 

"Thanks, Lils."

"Thank you for talking about it with me, Remus…I know it must be hard and… I appreciate you being patient with me." 

"Of course," Remus said with a grin. "You're my best friend. If I didn't put up with you, who  _ would _ I put up with?"

Lily giggled slightly before the two friends once again fell into silence. It wasn't until they arrived at the Moondoe that either of them spoke up.

"Oh, there's James' car. Looks like the boys are here already," Lily announced as she parked. The two friends made their way into the coffee shop and found James sitting at a table in the corner, waving them over.

"Hey, Hun," Lily greeted her boyfriend, kissing him on the cheek and sliding into the booth beside him.

Remus sat down across from James and Lily, but his eyes were focused on the baristas, searching for the familiar inky black hair that he had grown to love.

"...Remus?"

Remus' attention was pulled away from the coffee bar and he turned to face his table mates.

"Yeah?"

"James asked if you had a nice night…"

James let out a laugh, running a hand through his messy hair.

"It's okay, Moony was distracted. I would be too if I were dating a hunk like Padfoot."

Remus smiled at James, grateful for his understanding.

"Yeah… he's something," Remus said with a grin. "And I had a great night. Thanks for letting me join you guys. It was fun."

"Yeah! It  _ was _ fun! And next week'll be even better because Wormtail's back in town, so you'll finally have a chance to meet him!"

"Next week?" Remus hadn't realized that his invitation to boardgame night was indefinite.

"Yeah," James said, an easy laugh playing off his lips. "You're Sirius' boyfriend! You're part of the gang now!" 

"Part of the…" Remus had never been a part of a group of friends; having spent most of his life as a loner, he was much more comfortable around one or two close friends than a larger group of people. He wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Anyway, that's for future us to worry about. For now, let's enjoy the free coffee that Sirius is about to bring us."

"Free…"

As if on cue, Sirius came out from behind the bar with a paper tray, four coffee cups stuck into it. He smiled at his friends as he sauntered over.

"One mochachino, extra whip, extra chocolate for my chauffeur. One skinny chai tea latte for his lady love. One black coffee, for yours truly… And one coffee with milk and cinnamon for my favourite person at this table."

Sirius sat beside Remus and raised his cup in a mock toast before drinking it. Remus stared incredulously at his boyfriend, unsure of what was going on. Lily must have noticed his confusion, because she offered Remus a warm smile and an explanation.

"Sirius gets gift certificates for good work sometimes, it's how they try to reward employees. Him and James have a deal where James' gets his fancy coffee if he drives Sirius to work and picks him up."

"Oh, that's cool!" Remus turned to smile at Sirius, who had his eyes closed as he savoured his drink. "Where do we fit in?"

"Lily gets her own drink because otherwise she'd just steal Prongs'," Sirius teased, setting his empty cup back down on the table. "And you get one because you're perfect," Sirius mused with a wink. He leaned in and pressed a kiss into Remus' cheek before standing up. 

"Right. Time for my shift. Thanks again for the lift, Prongsy. See you soon Lily. And…" Sirius turned to face Remus, the slightest hint of pink spreading across his cheeks. "See you tonight on Instachat?"

Remus grinned at his boyfriend and nodded happily.

"Duh…"

Sirius left his friends to their own devices and after a bit of socializing, Remus decided it was time to leave and change into something that wasn’t yesterday’s clothing.

"You sure you don't need a lift back?" Lily asked, emerald eyes filled with worry.

"I'm fine, I promise. My bus stops right in front of here, so it's easy to get home. I'll see you soon, Lils. Bye guys!" 

Remus left the coffee shop, a feeling of relief washing over him. He had quite the eventful evening and it continued well into the day. As much as he loved being around his friends, he was looking forward to the alone time in his own apartment, and the opportunity to finally decompress.


	7. Chapter 7

Padfoot: hey

Moony: Hey!

Moony: Finished work?

Padfoot: yup

Padfoot: is it weird that I miss you already?

Moony: Nah… 

Moony: Honestly, I kinda miss you, too…

Padfoot: you're such a sap

Moony: Sod off.

Padfoot: what're you up to tonight?

Moony: I was gonna suggest we watch Swords and Sorcery. We… didn't really get around to much watching last night.

Padfoot: I much preferred what we did instead

Moony: Shut up.

Padfoot: make me

Moony: So does that mean you do want to watch it? Or are you gonna get too distracted?

Padfoot: why not both?

Moony: You're such an idiot.

Padfoot: but you love it

Moony: Yeah…

Moony: Alright, ready for the episode?

Padfoot: ready as I'll ever be

Moony: Cool. Play.

Moony: What?!

Moony: WHAT?!

Moony: How?!

Moony: That's so stupid!

Moony: Uggh… this season keeps getting worse and worse…

Padfoot: I still can't believe they killed a drake…

Padfoot: that made no sense

Moony: Right?! 

Moony: It's so inconsistent! First they establish that these are basically the most powerful creatures in the whole world and then poof! Somehow they get defeated by some guy who's literally never even used that weapon before!

Moony: How?!

Moony: How does that make any sense?!

Padfoot: calm your tits moons

Padfoot: it makes no sense

Padfoot: the showrunners are tired

Padfoot: they obviously just want the series to end at this point

Padfoot: there's no other reason that can explain why this season turned out so badly

Moony: I agree…

Padfoot: so…

Padfoot: when do I get to see you next?

Moony: You literally just saw me this morning! 

Moony: How are you already planning our next visit?

Padfoot: because I love you and I'm completely infatuated?

Padfoot: not to mention how sexy you are

Moony: Okay, shut up.

Padfoot: what?

Padfoot: can I help it that waking up next to you was my absolute favourite start to my morning that I've ever had?

Padfoot: that if I could I would spend every moment of every day with you?

Moony: You're such a sap…

Padfoot: hey that's my line

Moony: If the glove fits…

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: all joking aside

Padfoot: wanna come over tomorrow?

Padfoot: you could bring a change of clothes this time

Padfoot: that way you actually have something to wear

Moony: I have class the next day, Pads…

Padfoot: so?

Padfoot: I'm working a shift at the moondoe on campus

Padfoot: we'll go to school together

Moony: I dunno… what time is your shift?

Padfoot: noon

Moony: My class starts at 10:30.

Padfoot: so I'll be early

Padfoot: not the end of the world

Padfoot: come on

Padfoot: it'll be fun

Padfoot: plus we can work on our presentation

Padfoot: it is due in a few days

Moony: We do need to work on that…

Padfoot: exactly

Padfoot: and what better time than tomorrow?

Moony: And you'll promise that we'll actually get work done?

Padfoot: I promise

Moony: And it'll be like last time? Just… a sleepover?

Padfoot: moony

Padfoot: you wound me

Padfoot: have I ever shown myself to be anything less than a gentleman?

Padfoot: to think my honour is in question!

Padfoot: woe is me

Moony: Alright, alright, shut up. 

Moony: Fine, we can hang out tomorrow.

Moony: To work on our project.

Moony: And we'll head to school on Monday together.

Padfoot: yes!

Padfoot: victory!

Moony: Not like it took that much convincing…

Padfoot: meh

Padfoot: I'll still count it as a point in my favour

Moony: Hey Pads…

Padfoot: ya?

Moony: I don't think I ever thanked you properly for last night… Thanks…

Padfoot: what?

Padfoot: what are you thanking me for?

Moony: You know… being…

Moony: Being understanding.

Moony: And patient.

Padfoot: moons

Padfoot: it's not like I didn't know what I was getting into

Moony: But you didn't! Not really… And it makes me so happy that you're willing to let me go at my own pace.

Padfoot: what do you mean I didn't?

Padfoot: you've told me everything about yourself

Padfoot: there's no secrets there…

Padfoot: why would I push you further than you're comfortable with?

Padfoot: I'd be a pretty shitty boyfriend if I did that

Moony: lol

Moony: Yeah, I guess…

Moony: I guess I'm just thanking you for not being an awful boyfriend?

Padfoot: lol ok

Padfoot: you're welcome 

Padfoot: for being a decent human being

Moony: You've never… been with someone… like me, have you?

Padfoot: you mean ftm?

Moony: Yeah…

Padfoot: no

Padfoot: I haven't

Moony: I'm…

Moony: I'm worried…

Padfoot: about what?

Moony: Well, it's different…

Moony: And there's… a lot to learn

Padfoot: so?

Padfoot: I'm good at learning

Moony: But it might not be worth it..

Padfoot: what are you talking about?

Padfoot: of course it's worth it

Padfoot: you're worth it

Padfoot: moony

Padfoot: you've got to come to terms with it

Padfoot: I like you for you

Padfoot: no matter what you are or aren't comfortable doing

Padfoot: no matter what plumbing you happen to have

Padfoot: I love my moony

Padfoot: everything that has ever happened to you in your life has led you to become the person you are right now

Padfoot: the person that I fell in love with

Padfoot: and that person is perfect

Padfoot: moons?

Padfoot: you still there?

Moony: Yeah…

Moony: Someone must be cutting onions in here or something… making my eyes water...

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: I'm gonna give you the biggest hug tomorrow

Moony: I'd like that.

Padfoot: good

Padfoot: cause it's happening

Padfoot: so what time do you wanna come over tomorrow?

Moony: Oh… I’m not really sure… When do you want me there?

Padfoot: how does 3 sound?

Padfoot: that way we can get the project done by the time sas is on

Moony: Sounds like a plan.

Moony: I’ll see you tomorrow at three.

Padfoot: perfect

Padfoot: alright we should go to bed

Padfoot: it’s pretty late

Moony: Yeah…

Moony: I’ll see you tomorrow, Pads.

Padfoot: see you tomorrow

Padfoot: night

Moony: Goodnight

  
  



	8. *Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains M rated content!
> 
> Trigger warnings: Dysphoria and depression
> 
> This chapter can be skipped if need be without affecting the overall plot too much!

_ Knock knock knock _

"It's open!"

Remus hesitated for a moment before reaching for the knob and turning it cautiously, letting himself into James and Sirius' flat.

"Hey," James greeted him with a nod. He was in the kitchen, elbow-deep in a pile of dishes.

"Hey James," Remus said softly, searching around the main room of the flat for Sirius. His laptop was open on the coffee table and their Philosophy notes were scattered about the sofa, but Remus' boyfriend was conspicuously absent.

"Oh, he's in the shower." James answered Remus' unspoken question, before offering him a jovial grin. "You can sit down, you know. It's not against the rules or anything." 

"Oh… yeah… thanks…" 

Remus pulled his shoes off and headed for the sofa, putting his overnight bag down on the floor beside him. He pulled out his computer and began setting it up, grateful that Sirius was actually planning on doing school work. 

"Want anything to eat or drink?"

Remus looked up to find James' face peering out the pass-through, messy hair sticking out in every direction.

"Oh, no… I'm fine… Thanks."

Remus didn't know James well enough to be able to hold a real conversation with him one on one. After a moment of awkward silence, Remus turned his attention back to his laptop, pulling up their shared document.

"You and Sirius are working on a project?"

"Mmhmm," Remus answered, not looking up from his screen.

"What subject?"

"Philosophy."

"Ah… cool. Yeah, that's a real Padfoot kind of subject, isn't it…"

"Mmhmm."

Another pause. Remus could hear the sound of running water spilling over dishes. After a moment, James tried again.

"So what do you study, Remus?"

"Computer science."

"Oh! That's awesome! That means you can totally fix our computers!"

Remus clenched his fist tightly, trying very hard not to roll his eyes at James.

"No," he said, somewhat sharper than he had intended. "That means I can code. If you want your computer fixed, you can go to Superior Purchase."

"Oh… I was just kidding. Sorry if I offended you or anything…"

Remus looked up to see James standing outside of the kitchen, yellow gloves covered with suds, a frilly pink apron tied around his waist, his brow furrowed with concern. Remus took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"No, you didn't… I just… I get that a lot, you know? People asking me to fix things? Except they're usually not joking."

"Ah!" James' usual smile returned to his face as he let out a deep laugh. "Yeah, I bet that does get annoying after a while. Don't worry, I won't make you fix anything! I've got Sirius for that."

"What have you got me for?"

Remus spun around so fast, he made himself dizzy for a second. 

Sirius was standing outside the bathroom, one towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand, drying his dripping hair. That was all he was wearing.

Sirius' upper body was completely exposed, droplets of water dripping own his muscular frame, his lithe torso, down his abdomen. Dark tattoos contrasted against pale skin, rippling and dancing with the movement of his body. His arms, strong and firm, were holding the towel that was drying inky black locks, shifting up and down tantalizingly. When Sirius moved the towel away from his face, he noticed Remus sitting on the couch, and his grey eyes lit up with joy, a broad smile spreading across his face.

"Moons! You're early! Hey!"

Remus felt his face burning and his heart threatened to explode from his chest as he stared, mouth agape, at the most beautiful sight he had ever witnessed. In the back of his mind, he thought that if he died in that very moment, he would be okay knowing that he died happy. 

"Ahh…" He managed to respond, still unable to form coherent thoughts, let alone words. 

Sirius' smile twisted slightly, turning into a cocky smirk. He ran a hand through his damp hair, causing his towel to slip slightly lower down his waist. Remus' eyes followed the trail of dark hair that meandered past Sirius' belly button into the fluffy white abyss of the towel. 

"Lemme just get dressed. I'll be out in a minute, Moons." Sirius winked at his boyfriend before turning around and heading to his bedroom. "That is, of course, unless you want to join me…"

Remus sat very, very still, as if moving even the slightest amount would disrupt the entire fabric of time and space. The moment Sirius' bedroom door shut, Remus let out his breath. When did he hold his breath? How long hadn't he been breathing?

"You, sir, are one lucky bloke," James teased from the kitchen.

"Ahh…" Remus' mouth responded, his brain nowhere to be seen as he stared off into the void left by the absence of Sirius' shower-dampened body. 

Sirius suddenly appeared in his doorway, fully dressed, hair still slightly damp, and Remus wondered how he managed to put clothing on in the three seconds that he was gone. 

"Moons?"

Remus brought both hands to his hair, running his fingers through his curls, giving himself a moment to collect his thoughts. He rubbed his eyes and pulled his hands away, finally looking up into the warm grey eyes of his frustratingly handsome boyfriend.

"Hey Pads," he choked out, his voice sounding foreign to his ears.

"You… okay?"

"He bluescreened," James teased from the kitchen, causing Sirius to chuckle darkly. 

"Guess I've still got it," Sirius joked, flopping down onto the sofa beside Remus.

"Got what, a knack for taking your shirt off at every available opportunity? Yup, you've still got that…"

Remus blinked as the conversation happened around him, unsure of how to contribute to their bickering.

"Sod off, Prongs. Do I make you look bad in front of your Doe?"

"I don't think it's possible for you to look bad," Remus' mouth said without his brain's permission. Sirius threw his head back and barked out a laugh while Remus covered his face, desperately willing himself to spontaneously combust. 

Sirius gently tugged at one of Remus' hands and pulled it away before leaning in and planting a soft kiss against his boyfriend's cheek. 

"Love you, Moons." He turned his attention to the computer sitting on the coffee table, pulling it onto his lap. "Ready to work?"

_ No. _

"Yeah…"

Remus adjusted his laptop, trained his eyes on the screen, and tried to ignore the images of a half naked Sirius that kept drifting through his mind. Eventually, the boys settled into a rhythm and before he knew it, Remus was finishing off his speech about determinism and free will and reading it aloud. 

Remus knew that he would need as much practice as he could get; presenting in front of James and Sirius was one thing, but presenting in front of the class would be completely different. Sirius and Remus rehearsed their parts over and over again until James was able to mutter along with their speeches. 

"I think you've got this, Moons," Sirius said, his fingers tugging gently at Remus'.

"Not yet… Let's go one more time." Remus had tripped up on one line during his last run— he needed to keep going until it was perfect.

" _ Moons _ ." Sirius' hand gently clasped Remus', giving it an affectionate squeeze. "It's already past seven. You need to eat. You've got this. Let's just call it a night."

Remus looked up from his cue cards, furrowing his brow at the clock above the stove. It couldn't have been past seven, that would mean that they had been working for four hours straight.

"Padfoot's right. Let's order pizza or something. Maybe we can even invite Lily over, have her pick it up…"

Remus turned to look at Sirius, who seemed to be concerned.

"You alright, Moons?" He asked in a hushed whisper. 

Remus nodded, looking back down at the tiny cards in his hand before making a decision. 

"Pizza. Yeah. That sounds good right about now."

Sirius smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, call your Doe and see if she wants to join us. The more the merrier, right?"

It wasn't long before the four friends were gathered around the coffee table, eating their pizzas and discussing the upcoming episode of Swords and Sorcery. 

"We're gonna watch it out here on the bigger screen. You two wanna join us?" James asked around a slice of pizza. 

Sirius glanced at Remus with an unreadable expression before turning to his flatmate.

"I think we might just watch it in my room, if that's okay."

"Right,  _ watching _ it, that's what you two will be doing," James teased, causing Remus to choke on his drink and splutter in front of himself. Sirius laughed, rubbing Remus' back.

"You okay, Moons?" His words were peppered with chuckling as he tried— and failed— to keep a straight face. 

"I'm fine," Remus mumbled, feeling his cheeks burning. He forgot how frustrating it was having people living in the same flat as him, and how privacy seemed to be a luxury that he couldn't afford here. 

"Right!" Sirius put his empty plate down on the table and rose to his feet, holding out a hand for Remus. "It's been real. Thanks for the pizza. I think Remus and I are gonna head to my room now."

Remus looked up at Sirius, who appeared to have a hint of a blush creeping across his cheeks. Knowing Sirius was slightly embarrassed made Remus feel a bit more comfortable. He smiled at his boyfriend, grabbed his hand, and pulled himself up.

"Night, Lils. Night James."

Sirius and Remus headed to the bedroom and when the door to Sirius' room closed behind them, both boys sighed with relief.

Sirius clambered onto the bed and began pulling out his laptop as Remus crawled on after him. They sat side-by-side, with their backs against the headboard and Sirius' computer on his lap; ideal watching position. 

" _ Shit _ ," Sirius muttered, checking the time. "Still got a few minutes until it's live… what do you wanna do until then?" He glanced down at Remus, a genuine smile on his face. His tone sounded innocent enough, but Remus knew Sirius better than that.

"Iunno...What did you have in mind?" Remus returned a chaste smile as he feigned modesty. Sirius' smirk turned deliciously devious as he moved the laptop off of his legs and leaned closer to his boyfriend.

"Me? Why would I have anything in mind?" His voice was a soft growl in Remus' ear, his breath warm against his boyfriend's neck. 

Remus gave a subtle shrug and playfully looked away from Sirius.

"We could watch MeToob videos…"

"Mmm, we could..." Sirius purred, tickling Remus' jaw with the tip of his nose, sending shivers up his spine. "Or…"

Remus couldn't keep the corners of his mouth from turning up in a lewd grin. 

"Or?"

"Or…" Sirius placed a deliberate kiss at the crook of Remus' neck, lingering there to blow a hot gust of air against his pale skin. "We could find something else to do…"

"So I'll ask again…" Remus' voice was low and dark; he almost didn't recognize it. "What did you have in mind?"

"Mmm…" Sirius must have grown tired of their game, because this time, there was no question whatsoever about what Sirius had in mind. He placed his hands firmly on Remus waist, pulling them closer together and adjusting their position on the bed, before sucking a deep kiss into his boyfriend's neck. Remus let out an involuntary gasp as he felt the electricity running down his spine, deep in the pit of his stomach, urging him forward.

Remus reached his hands up, weaving them through Sirius' hair, tugging gently on the soft locks. He felt Sirius hum against his neck and gently nibble the supple skin there, before straightening up and looking Remus in the eyes. A half smirk played at Sirius' lips, making his intentions crystal clear.

Remus pressed forward, pushing his lips into his partner's, bringing his hands down to explore his body; the tight muscles that he had caught a glimpse of earlier, the strong arms that flexed as they moved. Remus felt Sirius' hands wander across his own body, feeling his back, reaching his bum, pulling his thigh higher so that their limbs were a tangled mess. 

Sirius broke off from the kiss, trailing his mouth up and down Remus' neck, nipping, sucking, licking, drawing out gasp after tantalizing gasp. Remus ground his hips forward, relishing the friction that Sirius provided, sending sparks through his body. Sirius responded with movement from his own hips, hungry, frantic, seeking release. Remus felt Sirius press a moan into his shoulder and he suddenly realized that he needed more of it; he needed to hear Sirius moan again. He needed to hear what other sounds Sirius could make when he felt that good. 

Sirius' lips connected with Remus' again, taking his breath away, stealing it straight from his lungs. Remus hesitated for a brief moment before moving his hand and trailing it slowly down Sirius' front, taking his time to feel every muscle, every movement, before coming to a stop above Sirius' waistband. Remus' mouth captured Sirius' moan and Remus knew he needed to venture further. 

Slowly, carefully, Remus undid the button on Sirius' jeans and slid the zipper down. He tugged at the hair on the nape of Sirius' neck with his other hand as he felt his boyfriend's hips rut desperately against his own, both of their groans mingling in each other's mouths. Remus' fingers reached down, tracing Sirius' length over his boxers. He pressed his palm firmly against Sirius' arousal, earning himself a voracious moan from his boyfriend. 

Sirius pressed against Remus, grinding his cock into Remus' palm, his hands grasping at skin underneath Remus' shirt. Remus felt himself get hard, harder than he had ever been before, and knew he needed to do something about it, until a thought struck him, slamming into him like a tonne of bricks.

All of a sudden, Remus pulled away.

Away from Sirius' erection, away from the kiss, away from his body and his arms and his quiet moans.

Remus wrapped his own arms around himself, squeezing tightly, closing his eyes, begging his body to stop shaking. He felt Sirius' grip loosen, felt the absence of warmth as his boyfriend slid back. 

" _ Moons _ ? What's wrong?"

Remus squeezed tighter, digging his fingers into his skin, trying to feel something physical to pull him away from his mind. 

"Moons?  _ Remus _ ! Remus, talk to me!"

Sirius' voice was calm, gentle. It wasn't angry. It wasn't loud. It was as soft as his down comforter, there to help calm Remus down, to wrap him up, to keep him together.

"Remus…"

Remus felt the tears run down his cheeks before he even realized he was crying. He felt the bed shift as Sirius got up and readjusted his position. He felt Sirius' torso pressing into his back, his arms weaving themselves around his body. He heard Sirius' voice whisper quietly in his ear.

"It's okay, Moons. I'm here. It's okay. C'mere…"

"I'm so sorry," Remus choked out, his voice hoarse, his eyes still clenched shut. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

It repeated, over and over, the same apology. He didn't even know what he was sorry for. He didn't even know what was wrong with him. He was just…  _ sorry _ .

"Shh shh shh shh…" Sirius cooed, soothing sounds, less of a "shush" and more of the gentle type of noise one would make for a child. "None of that, Remus. No apologies. There's nothing to be sorry about. I'm right here. I'm still here, Remus. I'm not leaving. It's okay…"

Remus let himself cry.

The tears poured out of him in sobs, his chest heaving, his breathing stuttered, and Sirius held him the entire time. 

Hours passed. Or minutes. Or days. Or seconds. Remus had no idea how long he laid there, letting his body work through his emotions, before the tears finally stopped and he had a chance to catch his breath. 

Sirius was still there, behind him, arms wrapped lovingly around his body.

With one last sniff, Remus opened his mouth and ventured a few words.

"Why are you still here?" 

It wasn't intended rudely; it was a genuine question. Why was he still there? Why did he stay with Remus?

"Because I love you, Moons."

"Why?"

Sirius huffed a laugh, nuzzling into his boyfriend's neck.

"What kind of stupid question is that?"

"I'm broken."

"You're not broken."

"I am… I'm broken. I can't do things that normal people do. I'm depressed and I'm angry and I'm shy and I'm not social and I'm just broken…"

"You're not broken, Remus. You can't do what normal people do because you're not a normal person." Remus groaned. "No, no, no, listen to me. You're not a normal person. You're smart. And you're funny. And you're mature. You see things that other people don't and you  _ get _ things. Normal people aren't nearly as awesome as you are. I don't  _ want _ normal. I don't  _ like _ normal. I like  _ you. _ "

"You've just described yourself," Remus grumbled into the pillow.

"Oh yeah? You think so? Maybe that's why I fell in love with you… maybe I'm just a cocky son of a bitch who fell in love with someone because they reminded me of me… either way… that's why I love you. I love you because you get me. Nobody gets me. Hell, even Prongs doesn't get me sometimes. But you? You  _ get _ me, Remus."

"Sirius," Remus mumbled, muffled by the pillow he was laying on. "Sirius, I… I'm scared."

"Of what, Moons?"

"Of… not being enough. Of not being what you want…"

"I told you already—" 

"Sirius, you'll want to have sex and—"

"Stop," Sirius interrupted, "Just… Stop. Listen. I've told you already, I love you for  _ you _ . If you were to tell me right now that you're… that you're asexual… that you will  _ never _ want to have sex with me… Remus, I'd be fine with that. I mean, I'd probably start wanking a lot more, but I'd be  _ fine _ with it. I wouldn't mind, Remus. Honestly. I know you don't believe me, and if I have to tell you every day for the rest of our lives, I will. I. Love. You."

The two boys fell into silence.

"I'm not," Remus said, after a moment. 

"Cool. Not what?" Remus could hear the smirk in his voice.

"I'm not asexual. But… I do appreciate the thought. I'm just… terrified."

"Of?"

"Not being able to… you know…"

"Have sex?"

Remus hated the sceptical tone Sirius used.

"Yes, Sirius, have sex. I don't know if I can. I just… I don't know if I can handle it… mentally. You know?"

Sirius didn't answer right away and Remus was determined not to read too much into it.

"Okay," Sirius mumbled after a moment. "Is it… something you want to see if you can handle, or…" He trailed off.

"Yeah, I think so…"

Remus felt Sirius take a deep breath before kissing his shoulder.

"Well then, I'm here to help. If you do… want to try. And if things ever get too much, just… stop. We stop. That's it. No need to be upset, no need to worry that I might leave you or won't love you… we just stop and go back to just hanging out as us. Does… that sound like something you'd want to do?"

"I don't…" Remus struggled to find the words he wanted to say. "I don't want to do that to you, Sirius."

"Do what to me?"

"Get you all…  _ you know _ … and then… just… stopping."

Sirius chuckled, kissing his boyfriend's shoulder again.

"Remus, we're two consenting adults talking about sex. I think you can use the term  _ turned on _ ."

For the first time since the conversation started, Remus could feel himself smile.

"Okay… look, I don't want to get you all riled up and then we have to stop. That's not fair to you, Sirius."

"I think I can decide what is and isn't fair to me, thank you very much."

"But then you'll get all… blue balled… and stuff… and isn't that uncomfortable?"

Sirius pressed his lips against Remus' shoulder, giving himself a moment to think, before pulling away.

"Okay… how about this… if it  _ does _ ever get to that point… and I'm not saying it will… but if it does… I'll just step away, take a cold shower, let things cool down a bit and come back and join you when I'm ready."

"But—"

"Look, I honestly don't mind. If you need to stop, we stop. That's that. No ifs, ands, or buts. And if I'm having trouble handling it, that's for me to deal with. I go, take a moment,  _ handle things _ , and come back. No harm, no foul. It's as easy as that."

" _ Sirius… _ "

"Okay, I'm offering a solution. If you have a better one, I'm all ears."

"You could find someone who's actually compatible with you."

"Nope, not an option. Next?" Remus smiled and leaned back into Sirius, causing his hug to tighten. "Remus, this will work. And if it doesn't, we talk about it again and look for a new solution. That's how relationships work. You talk and you find solutions."

Remus nodded slowly and Sirius leaned in to press a loving kiss against his cheek.

"I love you, Moons."

"I love you too, Pads."

"Good. Now that that's over with… wanna watch Swords?"

Remus couldn't hold back his laugh. His boyfriend really was ridiculous. Perfect in every way, but ridiculous.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY ENDINGS ONLY!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short and sweet! Going back to the basics. ;) Enjoy!

Remus woke up to Sirius' bum.

There, in front of him, in all its glory, were the perfectly round buttocks of Sirius Black. 

Remus blinked, trying to recall what possible situation could have occurred that resulted in this. As he pondered his previous night, Sirius' bum was suddenly covered by the black fabric of Sirius' boxers. 

Sirius was bending over, pulling up a pair of torn black jeans, adding yet another layer of fabric between his bum and Remus. 

Sirius pulled a shirt over his head and began turning around, and Remus had the opportunity to stare at his boyfriend's well toned abs before they disappeared beneath  _ AC/DC _ 's logo. 

"Oh! Morning, Moons," Sirius said, running a hand through his hair sheepishly. "How… how long have you been up?"

Remus felt his face flush and brought a hand up to cover his cheeks, feigning the motion of wiping sleep from his eyes.

"Literally just now," he mumbled, avoiding direct eye contact with Sirius.

"Just now…?"

"Mmhmm… just saw you putting your shirt on and turning around" Remus insisted. Sirius nodded gratefully and offered Remus a warm smile.

"Ah… yeah… well… I wanted to get dressed and make you some breakfast before you got up. I seem to have only accomplished half of that…" Sirius leaned forward and gave Remus a gentle kiss, pulling away with a broad smile. "Hungry?"

Remus stretched as he sat up, taking in Sirius' bedroom and the way it looked in the morning light. He realised that this room might be his new favourite place in the world. 

"Yeah, I could eat," he said, grinning from ear to ear. 

"Cool, I'll go make us something."

"Wait!" Remus called out, before Sirius had a chance to leave. 

"Hmm?"

Remus smirked at his boyfriend, playfully.

"C'mere…"

Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed next to Remus, his typical smug grin curling up the corner of his mouth. Remus leaned forward, pressing his lips against Sirius', running a hand along his stubbled jaw, winding an arm around his torso. Sirius eventually broke away from their kiss with a chuckle.

"Moons, it's nine thirty… we don't really have time for thi— "

Sirius was cut off by another kiss. He shrugged his shoulders before wrapping his arms around Remus' waist and pulling them both down into the bed.

"Mm… Moons… You know we're taking the bus… we can't… do this forever…" Sirius' words were peppered with kisses as the two boys laid next to each other, wrapped up in a loving embrace.

"Wanna play hooky?" Remus joked, pulling back and staring deep into Sirius' eyes; two silvery pools shimmering in the morning light. 

"Mmm…  _ I  _ do… but  _ you _ don't."

Remus nuzzled into Sirius' neck.

"I hate that you know me so well…"

"I hate that you have class today…" One last kiss and Sirius disentangled himself from Remus and sat up. "Come on… get dressed and we'll eat…"

Sirius left the bedroom to start on breakfast, and Remus took advantage of the privacy to change his clothes. By the time he stepped out of the room, Lily and James were at the kitchen table and Sirius was pouring Remus a cup of coffee. The four of them ate cereal, casually chatting about the previous night's episode of Swords and Sorcery until it was time for Remus and Sirius to head to campus. 

Remus' morning class was uneventful. He managed to finish the in-class assignment early and spent the rest of the time reading the Swords and Sorcery book that he had borrowed from the school library. When he was finally dismissed, he made a beeline for the Moondoe on campus, eager to order a drink from the cutest barista in the school— possibly the world.

Remus walked into the coffee shop and couldn't help but notice Sirius behind the counter, perfectly at ease, right in his element. He had a casual confidence, even when talking to strangers, and he kept a smile on his face the entire time. The occasional patron would laugh at a joke or something he said, and he would laugh right along with them;, silver eyes crinkled in joy, perfect lips forming an enthusiastic smile. 

Remus felt his chest tighten as he watched Sirius, knowing that this was a side of him that Remus never really got to see. He knew the  _ Too Cool for School _ Sirius, the one who sat at the back of the class and pretended not to care. He knew Padfoot, the dorky online Sirius that talked about TV shows and made shockingly accurate predictions. He knew the Sirius who could make him melt with a single grin, the soft Sirius who said such loving things while holding Remus tight, the Sirius who would blush on occasion, the Sirius who hung out with Prongs, the Sirius who hated Lily before he gave her a chance. 

This Sirius was different.

At the coffee shop, Sirius was social, talkative, suave. He was the type of person that everyone would fall for; flashing smooth smiles and flirting with strangers, taking full advantage of his chiseled features and loose man-bun. He was the type of person who Remus would never have gotten along with. 

Remus got into line for coffee, watching as Sirius focused on each customer, knowing exactly what to say and how to say it, never even noticing that his boyfriend was there.

"Next customer?" Remus approached the till and smiled nervously and all of a sudden, his Sirius was there. The cocky persona faded, making way for the genuine smile and subtle blush that Remus loved. "Remus!!" 

"Hey, Sirius…"

"I thought you had class until 1:30?" Sirius was beaming at him and Remus didn't even care that people were impatiently waiting for him to place his order. 

"Yeah, I was done early, so I thought I'd stop by…"

Sirius bit his lip and leaned slightly forward.

"I wanna kiss you but I can't…" he mumbled softly, causing Remus to laugh, his cheeks growing warm.

"That's fine!"

"Coffee with milk and cinnamon?"

"And a ginger cookie. Please."

"That'll be $3.75… I'd give it to you for free, but the manager's behind me…" The last part was said in a hushed tone, and Remus struggled to keep a straight face.

"It's  _ fine _ , Pads. But… thanks."

He paid and stepped aside, making way for other customers. As soon as Remus was gone, Barista Sirius returned, and Remus was alone again in the coffee shop.

When his drink was ready, Remus found himself a table in the corner and sat down with his book. He didn't have class again until three, so he had plenty of time to relax. A few chapters in, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

**Sirius**

thx 4 visiting

its nice 2 c u at work 

luv u

  
  


**Remus**

Yeah, it's cool to see you working. You're so social. Kinda jealous. Don't flirt with too many customers. ;)

Love you too.

  
  


**Sirius**

wouldnt dream of it

ne way 

basker 2nite?

  
  


**Remus**

Of course! See you on instachat. ;)

  
  


**Sirius**

not my place?

  
  


**Remus**

Spoons.

  
  


**Sirius**

cool got it

instachat works

  
  


**Remus**

Thanks for understanding. You're the best.

  
  


**Sirius**

no u

k g2g break over

c u 2nite

<3

  
  


**Remus**

See you tonight. Bye! <3

  
  


Remus snapped his phone shut and leaned back in his seat with a dorky grin plastered to his lips. As flirty as Sirius was, he had eyes for only one person, and Remus was eternally grateful for that. 


	10. Chapter 10

Moony: Hey!

Padfoot: moons!

Padfoot: miss you already

Padfoot: my bed smells like you

Moony: That's so creepy…

Padfoot: nooo

Padfoot: I don't mean it in a creepy way!

Padfoot: it's just really nice

Padfoot: it smells like you and reminds me of you

Padfoot: and it makes me really happy

Moony: That's super gay, Padfoot. ;)

Padfoot: spoiler alert

Padfoot: so am I

Moony: lol

Padfoot: I miss kissing you

Moony: If this is you trying to start something…

Padfoot: I'm not I swear

Padfoot: I just honestly really miss you

Padfoot: I really never expected to fall so hard for someone

Padfoot: it feels ridiculous but here we are

Moony: You are such a sap, I can't even…

Padfoot: you love it

Moony: I do…

Padfoot: ready for tonight's episode of basker?

Moony: Yes! It's the season finale!!

Moony: I'm so excited!

Moony: Speaking of which… I loved that drawing you did of Basker and Leiton…

Padfoot: shit

Padfoot: you saw that?

Moony: Oh no! Was I not supposed to? I'm sorry!

Padfoot: no no it's my fault

Padfoot: I should have put it away

Moony: It was really good though… you don't have to be scared of showing me your art…

Padfoot: no it's not that

Padfoot: I was drawing it for you

Moony: OH.

Moony: I am so sorry! Oh, I feel awful, I ruined the surprise! I'm sorry!

Padfoot: we're at thirty

Moony: What?

Padfoot: pence

Padfoot: we're at thirty pence

Moony: We're still doing that?!

Padfoot: you've been doing so well lately 

Padfoot: guess you're relapsing

Moony: But I am sorry! I ruined your surprise!

Padfoot: forty

Moony: Stop!

Moony: That doesn't count!

Padfoot: yes it does

Padfoot: into the jar

Moony: You're such a dick!

Padfoot: pay up moons

Moony: FINE.

Padfoot: proof?

Moony: I hate you.

Moony: 

Padfoot: you love me

Padfoot: right

Padfoot: it's almost basker time

Padfoot: season finale here we come

Moony: Yes!

Padfoot: oh damn

Moony: Does Leiton think he's the heir?

Padfoot: seems like it

Moony: But he's not Dragmore's son!

Padfoot: the prophecy never did specifically mention dragmore

Moony: But it said the oldest son of the King of Thoras!

Padfoot: what are the chances that fermat is dragmore's brother?

Moony: What?!

Padfoot: that might be a thing

Padfoot: then he would be the rightful king

Padfoot: and his oldest son would be the heir

Padfoot: and the prophecy would be about him

Padfoot: I wonder what leiton knows that we don't

Moony: That would be such a twist!

Padfoot: it really would

Moony: Damn, that episode was good.

Moony: I cannot wait for the next season!

Padfoot: same

Moony: When does it air?

Padfoot: next spring I think

Moony: Uggh… That's so long from now!

Padfoot: in the meantime at least we have sas

Moony: Don't even joke about that.

Moony: I am so angry at that show right now!

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: you're so fucking cute moons

Moony: Shut up.

Padfoot: it's true

Padfoot: if you didn't want me to call you cute then stop being adorable

Moony: You're a dick.

Padfoot: it's still pretty early

Padfoot: anything you wanted to do for the rest of the night?

Moony: Well, we were watching through TTS…

Moony: Wanna keep doing that?

Padfoot: sure

Padfoot: which movie were we on again?

Moony: Oh… I don't remember…

Padfoot: lemme just check the chat logs

Moony: Pads?

Moony: Did you figure it out?

Moony: I think we just watched three… does that sound right?

Moony: Pads?

Padfoot: hey

Moony: Where'd you go?

Padfoot: I was just reading through our chat logs

Padfoot: looking for which movie we were on

Moony: Yeah, did you figure it out?

Padfoot: I forgot how awful all of that was

Moony: Oh.

Moony: Yeah…

Padfoot: how awful I felt

Moony: I'm sorry…

Padfoot: no it's fine

Padfoot: you've already apologized 

Padfoot: I just…

Padfoot: that wasn't even that long ago you know?

Padfoot: and I thought I'd never see you again

Moony: I'm here now…

Padfoot: I know 

Padfoot: and I'm so happy about that

Padfoot: it just sucked reading through everything again

Padfoot: you know?

Moony: Yeah…

Moony: I'm sorry.

Padfoot: ten pence

Moony: That was a genuine apology! I'm genuinely sorry… for what happened, for making you go back and read it…

Padfoot: you didn't make me do anything

Padfoot: I chose to go back and read it

Moony: Pads, let's just watch TTS… We can get our minds off of the stuff from the past and just have fun, okay?

Padfoot: ya that sounds good

Padfoot: we're on number 4

Moony: Cool. Do you have it downloaded?

Padfoot: yup

Moony: Ready to play?

Padfoot: yup

Moony: Play!

Moony: Oh, Teaser… you silly, silly boy.

Moony: Although we do have to remember that he's only fourteen in this one…

Moony: Pads, are you alright?

Padfoot: I'm fine

Moony: Okay… you've just been a bit quiet.

Padfoot: watch the movie

Padfoot: you're gonna miss stuff

Moony: I've seen this movie a dozen times…

Moony: You're much more important to me than Seith and Camden's rivalry…

Padfoot: maybe that's why you never noticed the sexual tension there

Padfoot: too busy focusing on other things

Padfoot: lol

Moony: Ha ha. Funny.

Padfoot: I thought so

Padfoot: alright

Padfoot: movie's done

Padfoot: we should probably head to bed soon

Moony: Yeah… That's probably a good idea…

Padfoot: wanna come over tomorrow night?

Padfoot: we can head to school together again

Moony: I should probably stay here tomorrow night. I'll be super nervous about the presentation… I don't wanna keep you up.

Padfoot: you won't keep me up

Padfoot: and I can help with the nerves

Padfoot: you've got this moons

Padfoot: I've seen you practice

Moony: I know, I know… I just…

Moony: I really think I should just sleep in my own bed.

Moony: Please?

Padfoot: ya ok

Padfoot: will I see you at all tomorrow?

Moony: Yeah, we can grab lunch on campus tomorrow or something!

Padfoot: shit

Padfoot: no

Padfoot: I have class all fucking day

Padfoot: tuesdays are my busy days

Moony: That's okay! Believe it or not, I think we can manage going one day without seeing each other.

Moony: It'll be hard, but we'll survive. 

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: see you on here tomorrow night?

Moony: Of course.

Moony: Night Pads!

Padfoot: goodnight moons

Padfoot: love you

Padfoot: x

Moony: x


	11. Chapter 11

Padfoot: hey handsome

Moony: Sorry, wrong number.

Padfoot: oh shut up

Padfoot: you know I'm mad about you

Padfoot: and that adorable smile

Padfoot: so fucking cute

Moony: Flattery will get you nowhere!

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: my bed feels lonely without you

Padfoot: wish you were here

Moony: I think you'll manage

Moony: You survived last night.

Padfoot: barely

Padfoot: two nights in a row? 

Padfoot: don't know if I can do that

Moony: You're such an idiot.

Padfoot: can you imagine if you were here

Padfoot: all wrapped up in my arms?

Moony: Padfoot, are you trying to start something?

Padfoot: I have no idea what you're talking about

Moony: Because I'm nervous enough as it is for this presentation tomorrow. I don't need anything else on my plate…

Padfoot: this would be the opposite

Padfoot: it'd relax you moons

Padfoot: and god knows you could use some relaxing

Moony: What's that supposed to mean?!

Padfoot: it means

Padfoot: you should let me make you feel good

Moony: Jeeze! You are a horny mutt!

Padfoot: what?

Padfoot: just cause we met in real life doesn't mean we can't have fun like we used to

Moony: I think it kind of does…

Padfoot: why?

Moony: Because now that we know each other in real life… this is just… wanking!

Padfoot: so?

Moony: so… it's weird to wank with you

Padfoot: no it's not

Padfoot: why would it be weird?

Moony: I don't know, it just is!

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: so how about I come over there for real and help you relax?

Padfoot: a nice massage

Padfoot: some scented candles

Moony: You think I own scented candles?

Padfoot: you don't?

Moony: Ew… no…

Padfoot: why the fuck not?

Padfoot: they smell fucking delicious

Padfoot: prongs and I have like eight of them

Moony: And Prongs is straight?

Padfoot: why don't you ask lily?

Moony: lol

Padfoot: anyway

Padfoot: what's the verdict?

Padfoot: can I come over

Moony: No.

Padfoot: why not?

Padfoot: you've seen my place?

Moony: Your place is cleaner than mine.

Padfoot: not a chance

Moony: One hundred percent. After seeing your place, mine is officially off limits until I can properly tidy up.

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: dork

Padfoot: then why don't you come here

Padfoot: we'll snuggle together

Moony: Pads, we've been over this. I'm anxious about tomorrow. I just need a good night's sleep in my own bed. Alone.

Padfoot: fine

Padfoot: party pooper

Padfoot: and I guess having fun on here is out of the question?

Moony: I'm really not in the mood, Pads.

Moony: I'm sorry…

Padfoot: ten pence

Moony: Shove it up your arse.

Padfoot: yes please

Moony: Eeew.

Padfoot: lol

Moony: Do you know where that money's been?!

Padfoot: I didn't mean that I wanted the ten pence up my arse!

Padfoot: I meant something else!

Moony: That's definitely not what you said.

Padfoot: piss off

Padfoot: wanker

Moony: Nice insult coming from someone who was begging for a nice wank thirty seconds ago.

Padfoot: lol

Moony: Hey Pads…

Padfoot: hmm?

Moony: Thanks.

Padfoot: for?

Moony: This…

Moony: Being… normal.

Moony: Being us… it helps. 

Moony: With the nerves.

Padfoot: you have nothing to be nervous about moons

Padfoot: you're gonna do great

Moony: I hate public speaking.

Padfoot: I'll be right there beside you

Padfoot: just… pretend you're presenting to me

Padfoot: only me

Padfoot: ignore the rest of the class and say your lines to me

Padfoot: think you can handle that?

Moony: I can certainly try.

Padfoot: hey let's watch something

Padfoot: keep your mind occupied

Moony: What do we watch? We finished TTS… we're caught up in SAS and Basker…

Padfoot: iunno

Padfoot: how about msc6k?

Moony: Sure.

Padfoot: is there a particular episode that's really good?

Moony: Did we ever end up watching Pedios?

Padfoot: don't think so

Padfoot: doesn't sound familiar

Moony: Okay, we can watch that one. It's one of my favourites. It's called Pedios: Feet if Fate. I think I mentioned it to you a while back… you can find it on MeToob.

Padfoot: cool

Padfoot: found it

Padfoot: ready to play?

Moony: Yup.

Moony: Play.

Padfoot: this is literally the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life

Moony: I know! Isn't it amazing?!

Padfoot: it really is lol

Padfoot: the fuck

Padfoot: what is that cape even

Padfoot: it has feet on it

Moony: It's so good!!

Padfoot: you are so weird

Padfoot: I love it

Moony: So?

Moony: What did you think?

Padfoot: that was the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

Moony: Right?!

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: it's getting late

Padfoot: we should probably head to bed

Padfoot: try to get some sleep tonight ok?

Moony: Okay, I'll try.

Padfoot: I love you moons

Padfoot: sleep well

Moony: Thanks. You too.

Padfoot: night

Moony: Goodnight

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry this chapter took so long to post! I've been struggling with a bit of writer's block, but I did it! I finished the chapter! The next couple of chapters should all be on time, don't worry!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!

Remus was sitting in his usual seat, cue cards in hand, mumbling his presentation to himself, when he was startled by Sirius' voice behind him.

"Hey, Moons!"

"Jesus, Sirius! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Sirius laughed as he sank into the chair next to Remus, lifting his sunglasses to his head and flashing his boyfriend a smirk. 

"Good morning to you too…"

"Yes, hi, good morning," Remus said sharply before returning his attention back to his cue cards.

"Remus," Sirius whispered, his voice much gentler, "you're gonna do great." Sirius leaned closer to Remus as if he was going in for a kiss, but decided against it, opting to nudge his boyfriend gently with his shoulder. 

As the rest of the students trickled into the classroom, Remus rehearsed, repeating his lines over and over in the hopes that he wouldn't lose them once he stood up in front of the class.

"Good morning class," Professor Kettleburn began, once his students had all arrived. "Today we'll be finishing up our presentations and then starting our next assignment. No rest for the wicked!" The professor chuckled to himself as he lifted his notebook and looked inside. "Ah, yes, Remus and Sirius. You two are up. Let's hear what you have to say on free will and determinism."

Remus felt his body rise and follow Sirius to the front of the class of its own accord. He didn't feel like he was in control of his movements, his limbs, his mouth. He looked up to find a sea of faces staring at him. Of course, it wasn't a sea, the class had barely fifteen people in it, but in Remus' mind, it could have been fifty. 

Remus felt Sirius give him a gentle nudge before clearing his throat and beginning his half. 

Sirius was calm, collected, the words flowing out of him with impossible ease. He seemed so comfortable in front of his audience, captivating them, luring them in with his languid speech, his confident tone. Remus felt a pang of jealousy in his stomach. Or nerves. He wasn't entirely sure which. 

As Remus stared and watched Sirius' lips move, forming words and phrases, he lost track of time. Before he was ready for it, Sirius stopped. He turned and looked at his partner, warm grey eyes filled with reassurance, trying to make Remus feel as comfortable as he could be.

Remus took a deep breath, brought his cue cards up in front of himself and stared at the messy scribbles. The words seemed to shift and change before his eyes, suddenly illegible, despite the hours of practicing, when he could easily read what was written. The letters danced across the tiny cards, twisting and turning, appearing backwards and out of order. 

_ "Moons _ ," Remus heard Sirius whisper in his ear. " _ You've got this. Free will is… _ "

Remus closed his eyes for a moment, took another deep breath, and imagined James lazily sitting on the sofa, listening to the same presentation for the hundredth time. He pictured Sirius sitting beside his flatmate, feet up on the coffee table, mouthing along to everything Remus was saying, having memorized it half an hour earlier. 

Opening his eyes, Remus looked over to Sirius, who was still smiling that soft smile that was reserved just for Remus. He nodded and gave Remus a wink. 

"Free will is…" Remus began, before diving into his presentation, pretending that he was still in Sirius' living room, practicing to his friends. 

"...In conclusion, despite the evidence that Sirius presented, it is clear that humans have free will and are able to make their own decisions in the world. There may be factors within our lives that are predetermined, but it is our ability to make decisions that makes us what we are; that in and of itself is the essence of humanity. Thank you."

A polite applause and Sirius' hand on Remus' back indicated to Remus that he had somehow finished his speech. 

"Well done, lads. Have a seat. Now, let's have Mary and Frank to the front."

Remus allowed Sirius to direct him towards his chair, where he collapsed into the seat, his head immediately resting on the desk.

"You did good, Moons," Sirius said, giving Remus another pat on the back.

"Well," Remus mumbled into his arms.

"Hmm?"

" _ Well _ . Superman does good. I did  _ well _ ." 

"You certainly did…" Remus could hear the chuckle in Sirius' voice. He smiled to himself, allowing relief to finally wash over him as his heart rate began to settle and return to normal. He was finished.

"And now on to the next assignment," Professor Kettleburn began once the rest of the presentations were completed. "Yes, it's another group assignment. No complaining, it's important to learn how to work with your peers."

Sirius leaned over to Remus, his cocky grin settling on his face.

"Partner?"

Remus nodded happily, grateful that he could work with Sirius on another assignment.

"Now, I have noticed that some people in the class have been sticking with one partner the entire time. For this assignment, I want you to work with someone who you haven't been partnered with before."

Remus felt his stomach drop as he absorbed the professor's words, trying to make sense of them. Did this mean that he couldn't be partnered with Sirius? How would he survive another presentation?

A murmur spread across the class as Kettleburn stopped talking, and students began shifting around to pair up. Out of the corner of his eye, Remus noticed Manbun stand up from his seat next to his friend and head over to them. 

"Hey," he said casually to Sirius, his mouth curling in a confident smirk, his arms crossed over his chest. "It's Sirius, right?"

Remus had never seen Manbun up close before and he was surprised at how tall he was. He stood up straight with his shoulders back, the pose of a man who never had a care in the world. His dirty blonde hair was tied up in his typical loose bun atop his head, exposing a chiseled jawline and a scruffy beard. He had light blue eyes that shifted back and forth, reading Sirius and assessing him, never bothering to glance over at Remus. 

Sirius smiled and ran a hand through his hair and Remus couldn't keep his stomach from churning uncomfortably. 

"Yeah. You're…"

"Benjy. We're in the same major. I've seen you in Creative Writing."

"Ah, yes!" Recognition washed over Sirius' face and his smile broadened. He stood up and grasped the hand that Manbun had offered him, giving it a shake before letting go. "You wrote that one about the journalist, right? I remember now."

"Yup, that's me," Manbun said with an arrogant grin. "Wanna be partners on this next assignment? We've never worked together before."

"Sure!" Sirius flashed Remus a warm smile before following Benjy to his corner of the room, leaving Remus to sit alone in his seat at the front of the class.

"Hey," a voice behind him said, interrupting what was about to be a terrible train of thought. Remus turned around and noticed Manbun's friend standing behind him, her hand resting on the back of his chair. "Wanna be partners for this one?"

"Uh…" Remus hesitated for a moment before shrugging. "Sure, yeah… wanna… sit down?"

Manbun's friend sat in Sirius' recently vacated seat and turned to look at Remus, her face stoic. Remus stared into her deep chestnut eyes, trying to figure out what emotion she was showing. Her plump lips were slightly pursed and she had one eyebrow cocked. Remus offered her a cautious smile, but she didn't care to return it.

"Um… I'm Remus. Hi." 

"Dorcas," she answered sharply, pulling her laptop from her bag and setting it on Sirius' table. 

"You're… friends with Benjy?"

"Yup."

Remus took a deep breath, willing himself to remain calm and collected. He was angry and frustrated, and his nails were beginning to dig painfully into his palms. Not only was he stuck doing a project with someone he didn't know, who already had a penchant for not listening in class, but it was someone who obviously was only partnered with him because he was the only person available. 

"So," Remus ventured as he pulled his notebook and pencil out of his bag. "You and Benjy… are you two a  _ thing _ ?" Remus internally cringed at the way he asked his question, wondering why he had decided to sound like a thirteen year old all of a sudden.

Dorcas let out a laugh, as if the mere thought of being in a relationship with Benjy was absurd.

"No. No no no no…  _ no _ , absolutely  _ not _ . No." Remus raised an eyebrow and her expression softened slightly. "He's gay. Like,  _ really _ gay. Pretty sure that's why he wanted to work with your friend there. He's gay too, right?"

Remus was only vaguely aware of the sharp pain radiating from his palm as his nails dug in deeper. 

"I dunno," Remus lied, not wanting to out Sirius without his permission. He knew how frustrating it was to be outed by somebody else. "But I'm pretty sure he's seeing someone…"

Dorcas grinned and nodded towards the corner of the classroom where Sirius and Benjy were sitting, easy smiles on their faces, casually talking about something amusing. 

"Doesn't look like it to me," she joked, rolling her eyes. Remus could feel his chest tighten, a hard lump forming in his throat, as he watched Sirius throw his head back in laughter and run a hand through his hair. "Anyway, justice. Distributive justice… did you do the readings, Remus? 'Cause I have no idea what any of this means…"

Remus couldn't tear his eyes away from Sirius and his new friend, laughing and joking on their own. He couldn't help but stare longingly at Sirius' smile, the one he always thought was just for him, the one that was always accompanied by his subtle blush.

"Remus?"

"Uh huh," Remus responded, still not entirely certain what his partner was saying. 

"Hey, earth to Remus! I know Benjy's hot, but we've got some philosophy to do!"

Remus turned to look at Dorcas, who had her arms crossed and was glaring at Remus in annoyance. 

"Uh, sorry, what were you saying?" Remus couldn't believe he was letting himself get distracted from school work. He ruffled a hand through his hair, as if the motion could somehow clear his mind. 

"Phi-lo-so-phy," Dorcas grumbled, punctuating each syllable with a sharp jab from her finger. "Distributive justice! I didn't do the readings, did you?"

"Oh… yeah…" Remus flipped through his notebook to the section on Justice, trying not to think of the bark of laughter that erupted from Sirius across the classroom.

Remus and Dorcas eventually settled into a work routine, and they didn't notice that class had ended until Sirius and Benjy were standing in front of them. 

"Oi, nerds," Benjy teased, kicking Dorcas in the foot. "Class is over."

Dorcas looked up at her friend and Remus saw her smile for the first time all day. She began gathering her things and packing her laptop up, and Remus followed suit.

"So," Benjy began casually, nudging Sirius with his elbow. "Dor and I usually go for coffee after class. Wanna join us?" Sirius glanced over to Remus, who hurriedly looked away, desperately trying to hide the annoyance on his face. He had been looking forward to another after-class date with Sirius. "Your friend can join us if he wants…"

Remus knew that he was an afterthought for Benjy, especially since the boy didn't even bother addressing him directly. He clenched his teeth and tried keeping a straight face, not wanting Sirius to see how frustrated he was.

Sirius turned back to Benjy with a smile, running his hand through his hair; soft, dark hair that Remus wished his hands were tangled in at that very moment. 

"Yeah, that sounds great." He turned back to Remus, his smile never wavering. "Moons?"

Remus gave a shrug and made a non-committal noise that Sirius chose to interpret as a  _ yes _ , and off they went, the four of them heading to the campus Moondoe. Sirius and Benjy led the way, chatting about something inane in the front, while Remus walked with Dorcas in the back, silently fuming.

"What's got your panties in a knot?" Dorcas asked suddenly, yanking Remus abruptly out from his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Your knickers… in a twist?" Remus could have sworn there was the slightest hint of a smile playing at her plump lips. She raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow, deep brown eyes searching him relentlessly. 

"Oh, nothing. Just… tired. Eight thirty class does that," Remus answered, trying to sound nonchalant. Dorcas seemed to see right through him.

"So don't tell me. Whatever. Just trying to be friendly is all."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"If you were trying to be friendly, you'd ask about what major I'm in or what kind of things I do or something," he grumbled, still glaring daggers in the back of Benjy's head. 

"Alright, what's your major and what kind of shit do you do?"

Remus turned to look at Dorcas, slightly surprised that she was actually interested in a conversation. He hesitated for a moment before answering. 

"Um… Computer Science. I like… videogames and stuff…"

"Cool."

"You?" 

Dorcas shrugged, emphasising her apparent lack of interest in anything and everything.

"Also an English major, like your friend. We have a few classes together, not that he'd recognize me."

Remus bit his lip, feeling slightly guilty at the accusatory tone that Dorcas was using.

"He just keeps to himself is all."

"Oh, I know. That's why I don't get why Benjy is so insistent on  _ getting to know _ him." Dorcas glanced over to Remus, her expression softened ever so slightly. "No offense."

"None taken." Remus smiled to himself, content with the fact that Dorcas also didn't approve of Benjy and Sirius' budding friendship. 

  
  


———

  
  


"Dor, listen to this!" Benjy said with a grin, his arm wrapped playfully around Sirius' shoulder. "Sirius here knows someone who'd be  _ perfect _ for you!"

Remus rolled his eyes as he swirled his cup of coffee around, watching specks of cinnamon dance across the surface. He was sitting across from Sirius, who had paid him no attention since they sat down, and he was losing his patience with this Benjy guy and his over-familiarity. Remus heard Dorcas groan beside him and couldn't help but smirk to himself.

"Last time you tried to set me up, Benj, it ended horribly. I'm not doing any more blind dates."

"Okay, it won't be a date! Let's do a group thing! Come on, it'll be fun! Whadya say, Sere?"

Sirius laughed and shrugged his shoulders before running his fingers through his hair. Remus felt his stomach twist, hating the way that Benjy created a nickname for Sirius and the way that Sirius casually accepted it.

"Yeah, sure! Why not? I'll get Prongs and Doe and Wormy and everyone! We could go to a bar or something!"

"Perf. How 'bout Saturday night? Get all your friends to come out! Have you ever been to the Lab?"

"Yeah, that's Prongs' favourite bar!"

Remus was slightly less subtle about his groan this time and Dorcas heard it. 

"Fuckin' Benjy," she murmured to Remus, playing with the crumbs left on her plate. "He's being such an arse right now…"

"Well," announced Remus, suddenly standing up from his seat, his chair scraping against the floor loudly. He was done with this. Done with Benjy flirting with his boyfriend. Done with Sirius not preventing it from happening. Done with them making plans to go out drinking together. "It's been real. But I have class. See you."

Remus flung his bag over his shoulder and turned to walk away before Sirius called to him.

"Moons! I thought you didn't have class until half past three? Where're you going?"

Remus paused, pursing his lips in thought, trying to come up with a plausible excuse. Then again, there really was no point in lying to Sirius.

"You're right. I'm just not having any fun here. I'm gonna head to the library." 

Remus turned around and walked away, ignoring Sirius' protests. He heard Benjy mutter  _ what's up his arse _ before he stepped outside the coffee shop. He paused for a moment outside the entrance, hoping beyond hope that Sirius would follow him out. Much to Remus's dismay, Sirius never appeared. Angry and heartbroken, Remus stormed off to find somewhere else to read his book.

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

Padfoot: hey moons

Moony: Hi.

Padfoot: what was that all about today?

Moony: I should be asking you the same question.

Padfoot: what are you talking about?

Padfoot: you left when we were having coffee

Padfoot: why?

Moony: I told you. I wasn't having fun. 

Padfoot: what

Padfoot: you have to be having fun every moment of your life?

Padfoot: you couldn't just relax and enjoy a cuppa?

Moony: I wasn't enjoying myself! 

Moony: You spent the whole time talking with your new best friend, completely ignoring me!

Padfoot: you're not jealous are you?

Moony: No! Of course not! Why would I be jealous of some prick with a manbun? 

Padfoot: moons you have nothing to be jealous about

Moony: I'm not jealous, Padfoot! I just didn't much like that you invited me to join and then ignored me the whole time!

Padfoot: you were talking with dorcas

Padfoot: I thought you were busy

Moony: Well, you thought wrong. 

Moony: Today sucked.

Moony: And I was looking forward to another fun date with you… like last week.

Padfoot: oh moons

Padfoot: I'm sorry

Padfoot: I didn't realise

Padfoot: look next time I'll make sure to include you more

Moony: Does that mean there's going to be a next time? 

Padfoot: ya

Padfoot: why not?

Moony: Why not?!

Moony: Because your new friend is a dick, that's why not!

Padfoot: he's a cool guy moons

Padfoot: and I think if you gave him a chance and got to know him you might actually like him

Moony: Padfoot, he purposefully ignored me the whole time! He didn't say a single word to me!

Padfoot: yes he did

Padfoot: he invited you to join for coffee

Moony: No! He said "your friend can come too"! He didn't even look at me! He pretended I wasn't there!

Padfoot: moons I really think you're reading too much into this

Moony: I'm not!

Moony: And I really don't like that you're making me feel like I'm imagining this! I'm not making things up. 

Moony: I got a really bad vibe from Benjie. 

Moony: I just wish you'd listen to me!

Padfoot: ok I'm listening

Padfoot: you got a bad vibe from benjy

Padfoot: you feel like he ignored you the whole time

Padfoot: I can talk to him if you want

Padfoot: about making you feel more included?

Moony: No! I don't want that! I just don't want him around in the first place!

Padfoot: moons you're being ridiculous

Moony: I'm not!

Padfoot: listen to yourself!

Padfoot: you're telling me you don't want me to be friends with someone because you got a bad vibe from them?

Padfoot: you're saying you don't want him around?

Padfoot: you're trying to control who I am and am not friends with

Padfoot: does that sound like something healthy in a relationship?

Padfoot: moons?

Padfoot: moony don't ignore me please

Moony: You're right.

Moony: I'm sorry.

Moony: I shouldn't tell you who you can be friends with. That's not right.

Moony: I just…

Moony: He makes me uncomfortable, Sirius. 

Padfoot: why?

Padfoot: what about him makes you uncomfortable?

Moony: I don't know! He just does!!

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: well I think that's something you might have to get over

Padfoot: because him and I have a lot in common and I want to be friends with him

Padfoot: it'll be nice to actually have friends to talk to in some of my other classes

Moony: Fine.

Padfoot: good

Padfoot: thank you

Padfoot: now

Padfoot: do you wanna watch something with me?

Moony: Not really.

Padfoot: ok…

Moony: I'm not in the mood. 

Moony: I think I'm going to head off early today. Get some work done and get a good night's sleep.

Padfoot: ok

Moony: Bye.

Padfoot: goodnight moons

Padfoot: I love you

Padfoot: moons?

Padfoot: ok… bye


	14. Chapter 14

Moony: Hey Pads…

Moony: I'm sorry about last night…

Moony: I shouldn't have gotten so upset. You're right. You have every right to be friends with whoever you want. And I really should give your friend a real chance. 

Moony: And I'm sorry.

Moony: Pads?

Moony: Padfoot, are you around?

Moony: Hey, it's getting kind of lonely here… you gonna come chat with me some time soon?

Moony: Okay, I'm gonna head to bed. I hope you're not still mad at me.

Moony: Goodnight.


	15. Chapter 15

Padfoot: shit shit shit shit shit

Padfoot: I am SO sorry moons

Padfoot: I'm so sorry

Padfoot: I just got home

Padfoot: I totally lost track of time

Padfoot: I'm sorry

Padfoot: goodnight moons

Padfoot: I hope you see this when you get up

Padfoot: hey moons

Padfoot: good morning

Padfoot: message me when you get a chance ok?

Padfoot: I wanna make sure you're alright

Padfoot: haven't heard from you yet today

Padfoot: we still on for boardgames tonight?

Padfoot: ok I'm gonna try texting you


	16. Chapter 16

**Sirius**

hey

  
  


**Sirius**

moons? u ok? 

  
  


**Remus**

What do you want Sirius?

  
  


**Sirius**

moons im worried about u

havent herd from u yet 2day

  
  


**Remus**

Where were you last night?

  
  


**Sirius**

benji and i were working on phil and i lost track of time

srry

got home l8

  
  


**Remus**

You didn't have your phone on you? You couldn't text and let me know you wouldn't be online? That's the first time ever you haven't been online. I was worried.

  
  


**Sirius**

i kno

im so srry

  
  


**Sirius**

come ovr 2nite

well hang out just the 2 of us

ull have me all 2 ur self

promise

  
  


**Remus**

Not really in the mood to deal with people tonight. 

  
  


**Sirius**

remus pls

dont shut me out

  
  


**Remus**

Tonight is boardgames. I don't really want to deal with that. I love Prongs and Lily but I just can't tonight.

  
  


**Sirius**

so well skip bgames

we need time 2 talk 

just us

  
  


**Remus**

You can't skip boardgames. Prongs would kill me.

It's tradition.

  
  


**Sirius**

i dont care

fuk prongs

ur more important 2 me

  
  


**Remus**

Sirius, you should just have fun with your friends tonight, ok?

  
  


**Sirius**

pls remus?

  
  


**Remus**

Fine. But I don't want to be roped into board game night. My place?

  
  


**Sirius**

lol

is it finally clean enuf 2 come over?

  
  


**Remus**

It'll do. Let me text you the address.

  
  


**Sirius**

perf

I'll b over at 7 with food

wat do u like?

  
  


**Remus**

Whatever. I'm easy.

  
  


**Sirius**

k 

c u 2nite

luv u


	17. *Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut, but it ALSO contains some essential plot development. I recommend not skipping the chapter. If you feel that smut and sexual content isn't for you (which is totally udnerstandable!), then you can stop reading after: "That wasn’t his actual intention for the rest of his night, was it?"
> 
> I originally wasn't planning to include any smut in this chapter, however, the boys do what the boys do, and sometimes while writing, authors have trouble controlling the actions of their characters!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, even if sexual content isn't your thing!

Remus was startled by the knock on the door, despite knowing that Sirius should be arriving any moment. He hurriedly got up from his desk, ran his fingers through his curls in a feeble attempt to make them look presentable and opened the door to Sirius’ beaming face and a bag of takeout.

Sirius’ eyes lit up the moment he saw Remus, who couldn’t help but offer a smile in return.

“Chinese food?” Sirius asked, presenting his offering. Remus rolled his eyes and chuckled, moving out of the way and gesturing for Sirius to enter his flat. Sirius walked in, his gaze never leaving Remus’. “James says _fuck you_ , by the way. Lily says hi.” Sirius laughed at his own joke and ruffled his hair before taking a moment to look around at Remus’ apartment.

It was a humble bachelor pad, with a single room containing a bed, a kitchenette, a table, a desk, and more bookshelves than most people would allow in a flat that small. The walls were covered in posters for video games, movies, and TV shows. There was a single drawing on the wall, taped up beside the desk: it was a printout of the drawing that Sirius had sent Remus weeks ago. 

“Nice place,” Sirius offered, setting the paper bag filled with takeout on the table. 

“You don’t have to lie, I know it’s not as nice as you’re used to.” Remus knew that Sirius’ apartment was in a much better part of town, and it was large enough that James and Sirius must spend a small fortune on it each month in rent. 

“Shut up, Moons. It’s perfect. And it’s private, which is more than I can say for my shitty flat.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he pulled out two plates from the cupboard. 

“Yes, because your place is so terrible,” he mumbled, pretending to be upset. In reality, he was just glad that he and Sirius were finally back to their usual dynamic, teasing each other and goofing around, just the two of them. 

“It is when there’s people around.” 

Sirius began pulling the food out of the bag and Remus’ jaw dropped at the sheer volume of takeout that his boyfriend had brought over. 

“Did you accidentally order for Lily and James as well?”

Sirius barked his typical laugh, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

“Nah, I just didn’t really know what kind of food you liked so…” He looked down at the container of noodles in his hand, looking slightly ashamed. “I just got a variety.”

Remus smiled and made his way to Sirius, planting a delicate kiss on his cheek.

“It’s sweet. Thank you.”

Sirius’ expression brightened and he continued to unpack his massive meal, fit for an army. 

“So…” Remus began, lowering his eyes to the random noodle container that he selected and piling some onto his plate. 

Sirius’ face dropped when he heard the tone that Remus was speaking with. He sat down in his chair and began filling his plate with food, busying himself while he thought of something to say.

“So…”

Remus kept his eyes down as he grabbed what appeared to be sweet and sour chicken and added some of that to his collection of food. 

"So… last night."

"I'm sorry Moons,” Sirius began, poking at the beef on his plate without picking any of it up. “I should have texted you. I feel awful thinking about you waiting up for me like that."

"What were you doing that had you so distracted?" Remus tried to keep the accusatory tone from his voice, but the look on Sirius’ face told him that he was unsuccessful.

"Benjy and I were working on Philosophy," Sirius said with a shrug, bringing a piece of meat to his mouth and chewing, his gaze still averted.

"Until one in the morning?!" This time, Remus didn’t bother to hide it; the denunciation was clear in his tone. 

"Well, we did get a bit side-tracked after a while... We were just chatting is all, and we sorta just… lost track of time…"

" _Chatting_?" Remus' voice was testy and he raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend skeptically.

"Yes, Moons. _Chatting_." Sirius glared at Remus over his chopsticks.

"Until one am?"

Sirius scoffed angrily, as if Remus' line of questioning was overboard. 

"Yes. Believe it or not, we have a lot in common." He shoved a helping of food into his mouth; even his chewing seemed irritated. 

"So you've said," Remus spat bitterly. "What could he possibly have in common with you?"

"Well, for one thing," Sirius began, his voice getting louder. He stopped himself and took a breath, before continuing in a calmer tone. "He's the only person I can talk bikes with. We're both working on Harley's at the moment..."

" _Bikes_ ? Like… motorcycles?" Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You stayed up all night talking about _motorcycles?_ " 

"Ok, look. If you have something to say, _say it_. Stop beating around the bush!" Sirius' grip on his chopsticks tightened, testing their tensile strength.

"I'm not beating— "

"Don't pretend I don't know you better than that, Moony." Sirius was staring into Remus' eyes, solemn and determined, coaxing the truth out of him.

"Ok, fine," Remus grumbled. "Were you two… _hooking up_?"

The room filled with silence and Remus watched as Sirius' eyes lowered to his plate. Sirius placed his chopsticks carefully on the table and took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair, exhaustion and pain crossing his features.

"I'm _hurt_ , Remus." His voice was quiet, choked.

" _You're_ hurt? What about— "

"Have I _ever_ , in our entire time knowing each other, given you _any_ reason to believe that I would ever be unfaithful?" Remus swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat. Sirius was right, he had never done anything to make Remus think that he would cheat; Remus hated how suspicious he felt. "I told you I love you, Remus. And it hurts that you don't trust me."

Remus opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it, knowing that he didn't have anything to say. Sirius let out a heavy sigh before continuing.

"Nothing happened between Benjy and I." Sirius' voice was so quiet, Remus had to strain to hear it. "And if you can't take my word for it, then there's a much bigger problem here."

Remus felt his eyes sting with the building tears. He poked helplessly at the food on his plate before eventually responding. 

"You're right. I'm sorry. I do believe you. I just…" Remus sighed, resting his elbows on the table and putting pressure on his temples with his fingers "You know Benjy has a thing for you, right?"

"Where are you getting this from, Moons?" Sirius' voice was bitter, abrasive. Remus clenched his teeth and looked up at Sirius, staring down the silvery daggers in his boyfriend's eyes.

"It's so obvious!" Remus said, raising his voice without even realizing it. "The way he looks at you! The way he _flirts_ with you? He wants to get with you and…"

"And _what_ , Moons?" 

Remus saw the coldness in Sirius' gaze and felt a pang in his chest— Jealousy? Guilt? — he wasn't entirely sure what it was, but he knew that it hurt.

"And he's a hell of a lot more attractive than I am," he mumbled eventually.

"So you thought I'd leave you for him because you're attracted to him?" Sirius sounded bitter and in that moment, Remus hated him for it.

"That's not what I said!"

"Sure sounded like it."

"He's hot, Sirius! And he's into you! I just… look, I trust you, I just don't trust _him_."

Sirius gave a frustrated groan, pressing a clenched fist firmly against the table.

"You don't _have_ to trust him. He's not your boyfriend! _I am_ . And if I tell you that nothing happened, you should believe me! I've never given you any reason to think that I would cheat on you. And I wouldn't. You shouldn't feel like you need to check up on me about that, you should just _know_ that I wouldn't do it!"

Remus bit his lip, desperately trying to hold back his tears. Sirius was right. He knew Sirius was right. Remus should have just trusted his boyfriend to make his own decisions. 

"I'm sorry…" Remus' voice was choked. He wanted to say more, but nothing else would come out; only the apology. "I'm sorry, Sirius."

"It's _fine_."

"It isn't fine. And I'm so sorry."

Sirius reached across the table and took Remus' hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. Remus looked up at Sirius, whose expression was finally warmer, despite the sadness that lingered in his eyes. 

"For what it's worth…" Remus started, wiping an errant tear with the back of his free hand. "I _do_ trust you…"

"Good." Sirius offered a feeble smile and gave Remus' hand another squeeze. "For the record, Benjy hasn't made any sort of move on me. What you're seeing as flirting? That's just his personality." Remus pursed his lips in displeasure, but Sirius chose to ignore it. "And if he _did_ make a move on me, I promise that I would shut it down. I'm not interested in being with him. I'm with _you_ , Moons. I'm in it for the long haul. It's you and me."

Remus rubbed his thumb along Sirius' fingers and looked his boyfriend in the eyes, a sad smile crossing his lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Moons. Now… can we just get back to being _us_? I'm tired of all this fighting and arguing. I'm tired of one of us being mad at the other for some bullshit reason. 

"Okay. Back to being us."

"Excellent." Sirius smiled and pulled his hand back from Remus' to pick up his chopsticks and continue eating. Remus followed suit, picking through his vegetables and eating the ones he liked. "While we're still kind of on the subject though… did you want to come with tomorrow? To the bar?"

Remus paused with his chopsticks mid-air, suddenly remembering Benny's invitation from the other day.

"Don't you have work?" He asked tentatively, hoping he wouldn't have to turn Sirius down.

" _After_ work, dork. Lily will be there, if it helps." Remus chewed his food, trying to come up with an answer. Sirius must have noticed his hesitation; he smiled at Remus before nudging him gently beneath the table with his foot. "Drunk Padfoot might even make an appearance. We all know how much you love him." 

He gave Remus a cheeky wink and laughed when his boyfriend rolled his eyes.

"Ah yes," Remus quipped, "drunk Padfoot. Goody."

"Whatdya say? You up for a night of socializing tomorrow?" The enthusiastic grin on Sirius face made Remus' heart ache; it was getting harder and harder to say no to that expression.

"Can we… See how I'm feeling then?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

Remus and Sirius resumed eating in silence, the occasional glance passed between them as they picked away at their food. After a while, Remus put his chopsticks down, his plate still mostly full of noodles.

"I'm getting kinda full," he mumbled, and it wasn't entirely untrue. He didn't feel particularly hungry, especially considering the day he had and the argument with Sirius. Remus heard the scrape of Sirius' chair and looked up to find his boyfriend clearing the table, bringing the takeout containers to the fridge. "Pads, you don't have to do that. I can—"

"It's fine, Moons," Sirius said with a grin, shutting the refrigerator door. "I like helping. Makes me feel useful. 

Remus smiled and got up, assisting his boyfriend with putting everything away. With the dishes in the sink and the food in the fridge, Remus suddenly realized that he was standing next to Sirius with absolutely no idea what to do or where to go from there. 

"So…" Remus started, fidgeting with a stray chopstick. 

"Hey…" Sirius leaned in closer, the tips of his fingers brushing against Remus' as he pressed their foreheads together. "I don't think I gave you a proper _hello_."

Sirius brought his hand up towards Remus' cheek, hesitating for the briefest moment before grazing his cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. Sirius closed his eyes and gingerly pressed his lips to Remus' before pulling back.

Remus looked into his boyfriend's eyes, infinitely deep and full of adoration, and he couldn't keep himself from grinning. 

"Hello, Sirius."

"Hey Moons…"

Remus pressed forward, his lips immediately connecting with his partner's. The kiss was more forceful this time, more purposeful. When Remus pulled back, their lips parted with a soft noise, and Sirius' face was radiating bliss. Remus couldn't keep himself from blushing as he looked at his partner in awe, unable to conceive why someone as perfect as Sirius would fall for a guy like him.

"I love you, Moons."

Remus smirked and grabbed Sirius hand, leading his boyfriend to the bed on the other side of the tiny flat. The two boys sat down on the edge, Remus' heart beating rapidly as giddiness rushed through him, excited to be alone with Sirius for the first time in a while. As Remus leaned in for another kiss, however, Sirius pulled back slightly, surprising him. 

"Hey… we should… just hang for a bit, yeah?"

Remus blinked.

The weight of Sirius' words sunk in and his face fell, the knot that sat in his chest twisted once again. Did Sirius not want to kiss him?

It was almost as if Sirius could read Remus' mind, because in an instant, long calloused fingers were cupping his cheek, his boyfriend whispering reassurances in his ear.

"I just wanna hold you, Moons. Just for a bit. Is that okay?"

Remus nodded slowly before pulling away. 

"Yeah… let's… let's put something on."

Remus got up to get his laptop from his desk and brought it over to the bed, where he found Sirius already sitting comfortably against the headboard, supported by Remus' pillow. Remus grinned at his boyfriend, climbing into the bed beside him, and the two boys tucked themselves beneath Remus' blanket.

Cuddled up in each other's arms, Remus and Sirius played a video on the laptop. For the life of him, Remus couldn't tell what movie or show they were watching; the only thing on his mind was Sirius. Sirius' hand tracing tender circles in the small of his back. Sirius' chest, rising and falling in time with Remus' breathing. Sirius' smell, stale cigarette smoke mingled with the musky spice of whatever magical cologne he seemed to use. Sirius' lips, occasionally pressing into Remus' hair to plant a kiss against his head. 

_Sirius._

"You're not paying _any_ attention to the episode, are you?" Sirius asked mockingly, poking Remus playfully in the ribs.

"Not really, no." Remus smirked at Sirius, earning him a reproachful look from his boyfriend. 

"You should. It's _your_ show, after all."

"I've seen it already," Remus teased with a shrug, his fingers dancing across Sirius' muscular chest, ghosting over the thin fabric of his band tee shirt.

Sirius gave an exaggerated sigh, as if he was resigned to his fate. He rolled his eyes and tenderly touched Remus’ chin, lifting it slightly towards him. 

“You just wanna make out, don’t you? Here I was, trying to be all romantic and snuggle my boyfriend, and your head is in the gutter!” 

Remus shoved Sirius playfully, pulling his face away from his partner’s delicate grasp. 

“No! I’m perfectly happy to sit here all night and watch…” He peeked at the computer screen, pretending he had no idea what they were watching, “ _Mystery Science Club_ all night long.”

Sirius laughed and ruffled Remus’ hair, earning him another shove from his boyfriend. 

“Alright by me, Moons. Mystery Science Club all night long. Sounds like a perfect plan.”

Remus pursed his lips, knowing that Sirius was screwing with him. He had to be screwing with him. That wasn’t his actual intention for the rest of his night, was it?

“I mean,” Remus began, doing his best impression of an innocent expression. “We don’t _have_ to watch MSC all night... “ To emphasize his point, Remus traced his fingers along Sirius’ torso, down his sternum, ticking over his abdomen. Sirius’ mouth twisted into a half smirk as he peered down at his boyfriend below heavy-lidded eyes. 

“Well, what else did you have in mind?” Sirius’ question was innocent enough, but his tone was undeniably wicked, and it sent chills down Remus’ spine. Remus’ fingers wandered slightly lower, past Sirius’ belly button, tracing lines just above his waistband. He didn’t say anything; he simply smiled up at Sirius, cocking his eyebrow coyly. Sirius chuckled darkly, inhaling sharply as Remus tugged at his pants to bring their bodies closer together.

“What happened to just cuddling?” Sirius purred in Remus’ ear, snaking his hands around his partner’s waist. Remus shrugged his shoulders and bit his lip, trying— and failing— to keep the grin off his face. 

“You’re really hot and I love you?”

Sirius laughed, nuzzling Remus’ neck and planting soft kisses against supple skin. 

“Right back at you,” he murmured against Remus’ jaw, his hands rubbing against his boyfriend’s back, affectionately caressing his body. “You’re really hot and I love you.”

Tired of their flirty charade, Remus leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sirius’, immediately opening his mouth and deepening the kiss. He felt Sirius’ hands sliding up the back of his shirt and he mirrored those actions, pressing his palms against the warmth of Sirius’ back. 

The laptop lay forgotten on the side of the bed as the boys rolled over, locked in their passionate embrace, a mass of tangled limbs. Sirius’ hand wandered to Remus’ thigh, pulling it higher and positioning them so that their hips rutted together. He pulled away from the kiss, panting slightly.

“This okay?”

Remus nodded, capturing Sirius’ lips again, tugging hungrily at his shirt so that their bodies were once again moving in sync. As they snogged, Sirius’ fingers ran up and down Remus’ thigh, teasing, taunting, getting closer and closer to the sensitive area in between. Remus shifted his body to gain leverage, encouraging Sirius’ motions, egging him on. Sirius grazed the inside of Remus’ thigh, mere inches from his groin, and an involuntary moan escaped Remus’ mouth.

“Like that, do you?” Sirius teased, nibbling gently on Remus’ ear as his fingers continued to explore. Remus couldn’t muster any response other than another soft moan. His head was swimming with the smell of Sirius, the feeling of their bodies rutting together, Sirius’ fingers. 

_Sirius’ fingers._

Sirius’ fingers grazed against Remus’ prick over the fabric of his trousers and Remus tensed slightly, gripping tighter on the fabric of Sirius’ shirt.

“Hey, you alright Moons?” Sirius whispered. He must have felt the sudden change in Remus’ body language, because he pulled away slightly, looking his boyfriend in the eyes. “You okay?”

“Um…” Remus wasn’t sure how to answer the question. Part of him wanted, more than anything in the world, for Sirius to touch him more. There was another part of him, however, that hated the idea of Sirius exploring his body, seeing what it looked like, knowing all of Remus’ most intimate secrets. “I’m…”

Sirius kissed Remus gently before pulling back, shifting their position and moving Remus’ leg off of his hip. 

“We can… try something else if you want.” His voice was slightly shaky, as if he was suggesting something not entirely within his comfort zone. 

“Something else?” Remus quirked an eyebrow at Sirius, who took a deep breath before leaning in for another kiss. 

“Mmhmm. Something else. I… had an idea.” Sirius reached for Remus’ hand, rubbing his thumb along his partner’s wrist. “May I?”

Remus nodded, slightly unsure of what Sirius was planning, but willing to find out where this was heading. Sirius gently pulled Remus’ wrist, directing his hand. He brought his boyfriends’ fingers to Remus’ own waistband, mirroring the action on himself with his other hand. Remus felt his heart beat faster, his stomach twisting in fear, excitement, or a strange combination of both. 

Sirius’ fingers lowered as he directed Remus’ hand to do the same. Remus knew what Sirius was implying now as his _something else_ , but he was still nervous about it. He had always thought of touching himself as something that should be done in private, alone. Was it possible to be in a sexual situation with a partner and still pleasure one's self?

“We… We don’t have to…” Sirius’ voice was quiet, almost timid, and Remus felt himself relax slightly. Knowing that Sirius wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing helped make Remus more comfortable; they would be trying something new together, at the very least.

“No… we can…” Remus brought his free hand up to Sirius’ waist, bringing their bodies closer together. Sirius took the hint and let go of Remus’ wrist, wrapping it around his torso instead. Their lips connected and before Remus knew what was happening, they were kissing again, his fingers weaving into Sirius’ hair, Sirius’ hand pressed firmly into his back.

The position of their bodies pushed the backs of their hands together, and Remus' chest tightened when he felt Sirius' hand move lower. 

Sirius moaned softly into his partner's mouth and Remus felt his boyfriend's hand moving up and down against his own. Following Sirius' lead, Remus slipped his own hand into his pants, a wave of pleasure washing over him as he pressed against his already hard cock. Sirius made another noise of pleasure, sending shivers down Remus' spine, encouraging him to press harder.

Both bodies moved together as the boys touched themselves, moaning softly into each other's mouths. Sirius' hand wrapped itself in Remus' hair, his thumb gently caressing his lover's cheek. He broke their kiss, bringing their foreheads together, muttering profanities under his breath. 

" _Fuck, Moons,_ " he groaned softly, his hips gyrating in time with Remus'. "So _fucking_ hot…"

Remus let out a soft gasp, letting his partner know that he was enjoying himself, unsure of whether or not he was supposed to say anything more. 

" _Fuck,_ I'm so hard for you, Moons…"

In the back of his mind, Remus noted Sirius' penchant for dirty talk, but the movement of Sirius' hips and his soft groans in Remus' ear was sufficiently distracting. Remus felt the tension building up deep in his stomach and he sped up his movements. 

" _So fuckin' hot_ ," Sirius mumbled, his grip in Remus' hair tightening. Remus closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried his hand at saying something sexy for his boyfriend.

"I'm… I'm getting close, Sirius…" He whispered softly, eliciting an enticing groan from his partner's mouth, originating from deep within his chest. 

" _Fuck_ , you're so hot, Remus…"

Remus felt Sirius' movements quicken, heard his breathing get heavier. He knew his boyfriend was going to finish soon and it drove him mad, knowing that Sirius was that turned on by him. Thinking of Sirius in front of him, hearing his noises, Remus felt his chest tighten, his toes tingling, his legs tensing. His mind went blank, thinking about nothing except for Sirius.

_Sirius moaning his name._

In a flash of white light, sparks ran through Remus' body, and he allowed a voracious moan to escape his lips, echoed in the voice of his partner. Remus continued to grind his hips into his hand, riding out the wave of pleasure until it subsided completely.

By the time Remus opened his eyes, Sirius was finished, smiling amorously at him, stormy grey eyes almost hidden beneath hooded lids. Remus felt the blush creep across his face as Sirius rubbed his cheek and pressed a tender kiss into his lips.

"I love you, Moons," he whispered softly, nuzzling his nose.

The boys laid together for a few moments while they let their heart rates settle and their breathing return to normal. After a while, Sirius let out an awkward chuckle.

"Um… can I… use your shower by any chance?"

Remus was hit with the sudden realization that their _activities_ may have been slightly messier for Sirius than they had been for himself. He sat up abruptly, trying to hide his own embarrassment. 

"Oh, um...yeah. Yeah, the door's right next to the fridge. There're clean towels under the sink. Sorry. Um… I'm… I'm sorry."

Sirius sat up, still laughing, and leaned in to give Remus a kiss.

"Twenty pence. I expect to see them in the jar when I get out."

Sirius got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, while Remus hurriedly washed his hands in the kitchen sink before digging through his drawers for any change of clothes that Sirius could wear. 

_This was a mistake…_

Remus realized how much of an imposition he had put on Sirius, making them do _what they did._ He dug through his clean boxers, hoping there would be a pair that would fit Sirius' wide hips and thighs, to no avail; Remus was noticeably smaller than his boyfriend. 

Remus heard the shower turn off and he panicked slightly, sifting through the drawer more frantically. There had to be _something_ there that Sirius could wear. Sirius stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and Remus stopped dead in his tracks, groaning internally at the deja vu. 

"Hey, it's okay Moons," Sirius said, noticing what Remus was doing. "We can just throw these in the wash or something."

Remus purposefully kept his gaze on Sirius' eyes, desperately trying not to stare at the tattooed torso, shower damp and dripping delectably. 

"Did you bring… extra?" Remus only realized how ridiculous he sounded after the words left his mouth.

"No, uh…" Sirius ran a hand through his hair, his cheeks flushing slightly. "I… I didn't want to presume, you know? In case… you didn't want me to stay? So I… I didn't bring anything…" 

Remus tried to hide his grin, unsuccessfully.

"Well," he started, his eyes drifting down to his feet, "consider this an open invitation to… presume."

"Thanks." 

Remus looked up to see Sirius with his adorable half smirk making his way over. "So… about that laundry situation…"

_____

  


Sirius' boxers were cleaned and dried and the two boys were snuggled together beneath the covers of Remus' bed, fruitlessly staving off sleep for as long as they could.

"Hey Pads…" 

"Mmm?"

Remus paused for a moment, feeling Sirius' deep breathing behind him, memories of earlier that evening drifting through his mind.

"Thanks…"

"...For?"

"Tonight… everything… dinner… and… _dessert_?" Remus felt Sirius laughing silently behind him and hid his face in his hands. "That was a stupid way of putting it."

"It was cute. And you're welcome." Sirius leaned forward and kissed Remus' cheek. "I enjoyed it."

"I… I did, too." Remus felt his cheeks on fire, but he pushed through the embarrassment. "I… didn't think I would. But I really did. So… Thanks. It was a good idea."

"I'm glad."

"I love you, Pads…"

"Iloveyoutoo…" Sirius mumbled, and Remus realized his boyfriend was passing out. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, letting Sirius' rhythmic breathing eventually lull him to sleep as well. 

  



	18. Chapter 18

Remus woke up in his own bed, wrapped in Sirius' arms, the previous night racing through his mind.

They had fought. They had made up. They had sex.

_ Well, not really. _

Despite the fact that they never actually  _ touched  _ each other, Remus felt like he was closer to Sirius than ever before; like he had exposed himself to someone in a way that he had never experienced in the past. Remus couldn't believe he had allowed himself to open up to Sirius that much, to let himself be so vulnerable. And yet, thinking about it in the sobering morning light, Remus didn't regret it for a single moment. Everything about being with Sirius felt  _ right _ . 

Remus rolled over, nuzzling into Sirius' bare chest.

_ Sirius slept shirtless _ .

Of course he did. Sirius had mentioned before that he always slept shirtless. There was just something about actually being next to a shirtless Sirius that shook Remus to the core. It was startling, but in the best way possible.

Sirius' chest rose and fell, slowly, steadily, and Remus could do nothing but  _ stare.  _ He was fit—  _ so fit _ — and his skin was so soft and smooth, Remus had to keep himself from reaching out and touching it. The stark contrast of dark tattoos against pale skin was alluring, intoxicating, and Remus wanted to memorize each and every stroke of ink on Sirius’ body. There was a part of Remus’ mind that couldn't believe that somebody who looked like Sirius would ever fall in love with him, but then he remembered their conversations; weeks and weeks of conversations, where Sirius made sarcastic quips and insightful observations about children's television shows, and Remus remembered why they were great together.

"Mmm… Mornin'..."

Sirius' voice pulled Remus from his thoughts. He propped himself up on his elbow and smiled at Sirius, taking in the beauty of the man before him. Inky black hair was splayed across the white pillow, silver eyes barely visible beneath half-closed lids. Sirius reached a hand up and gently brushed a curl out of Remus' face, his smile growing wider by the moment. 

"Good morning," Remus responded, leaning in to press his lips against his boyfriend's. "How'd you sleep?"

"Mmm… wonderfully." Remus didn't think Sirius' dorky grin could grow wider, but the man managed to prove him wrong. He felt himself blush in the morning sunlight that poured through his window. 

"You know," Remus started, working up his confidence to say what he was thinking. He placed a hand firmly on Sirius' chest and smiled down at him. "You're really attractive."

It was Sirius' turn to blush, a faint pink glow spreading across his cheeks and to his ears. 

"Ah… thanks," he mumbled, seemingly unsure of what else to say. "That's… I like knowing that you're attracted to me…" Sirius let out an awkward chuckle before Remus leaned over and kissed him again, a soft tender kiss that barely lingered.

"Oh… what time is it?" Sirius asked, suddenly realizing that he had to be somewhere that day. "I've got work at noon."

"It's okay," Remus cooed, snuggling into Sirius, letting his arm drape over his boyfriend's chest. "It's only ten. We've even got time for breakfast."

"Perfect." Sirius pressed a kiss into Remus' hair. "Leftovers?"

"Eww!" Remus pulled back, giving Sirius a quizzical look. "That's disgusting."

"What? Leftovers for breakfast?"

"Yes!" Remus propped himself up again, giving Sirius a gentle push. "That's not breakfast food! Eggs, toast, cereal, fruit, those are breakfast foods. Not General Tao's chicken!"

Sirius laughed, wrapping his arms around Remus and pulling him back into the snuggle.

"Alright, Mr. Breakfast Tyrant. We'll make sure to have acceptable breakfast foods for you."

"Good." Remus grinned, pressing a kiss into the supple flesh of Sirius' chest. “Alright, let’s find some food…” Remus rolled to get out of bed, but Sirius reached his arms out, gently trying to pull him back into the hug.

“Noooo, stay with me, Moons,” Sirius whined, earning him another affectionate peck before Remus escaped his grasp. 

“C’mon… if we stay in bed all morning, we won’t have time for breakfast!” Remus threw his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. He casually lifted off his shirt, forgetting himself for a second, being so used to just getting changed in the open in his apartment. When he turned around, he noticed Sirius staring, a licentious grin on his lips. Remus froze for a moment, acutely aware of the fact that he was only wearing a pair of boxers and that Sirius was looking at him.  _ Admiring him _ .

The look in Sirius’ eyes was unlike any Remus had experienced before. It was hunger, desire. The look of someone who found Remus’ body attractive and who wanted to spend time getting to know every inch of it. Remus gave an awkward laugh and ran his fingers through his curls, raising his shirt up slightly to cover his torso.

“Oh… uh… So— Sorry…”

Sirius chuckled, patting the bed invitingly.

“What are you sorry for. Ten pence, Moons. Now… get your arse over here.”

Remus rolled his eyes and made to turn around, before he heard a groan of displeasure from Sirius.

“What?” Remus turned back to his boyfriend, quirking at eyebrow at him. 

“I liked the view. Don’t take it away so soon…” Remus felt his cheeks flush and he immediately looked at his feet. He was embarrassed, but not ashamed; having Sirius look at him like that felt exhilarating. It felt wonderful. “Join me in bed, Moons?”

Remus looked back up at Sirius, who was still patting the bed gently, before giving a sigh and sliding under the covers to join Sirius. 

“Five more minutes,” Remus teased, pressing his body against Sirius’, shivering with the thrill of skin-to-skin contact. 

“You know, you really are quite handsome, Moons…”

“Stop!” Remus said playfully, not wanting Sirius to stop at all, not in the slightest. He covered his burning face with his hands, hoping that his shyness would subside at some point in the near future. Remus felt Sirius’ fingers gently graze his waist and he immediately moved his hands from his face. “Wha—”

“May I?” Sirius’ voice was so earnest, so soft, that Remus could do nothing but stare, his mouth hanging open slightly. “Moons? Can… Is this okay?”

Remus nodded, forcing his mouth closed, melting under Sirius’ touch as he ran a tentative hand up Remus’ side. Sirius’ hands traced across Remus’ torso, along his ribs, up his abdomen. The tips of Sirius' fingers ghosted over the scars on Remus' chest, barely grazing the skin. 

Remus felt his chest tighten, a lump forming in his throat, as his shoulders hunched forward. He hated his scars— they were always something that he felt particularly self-conscious about. Sirius seemed to sense something was wrong, because he pulled his hand away and brought it to Remus' chin, tilting it up ever so slightly.

Remus stared into his boyfriend's eyes, pools of molten silver, shimmering with adoration.

"You know who has scars?" Sirius whispered softly, running the tip of his nose along Remus' jawline. "Warriors. Fighters. People who have faced challenges in their lives and lived to fight again."

Remus felt his hands tremble as they drifted across Sirius' torso. He had been called a lot of different things in his lifetime, but  _ warrior _ had never been one of them. 

"I suppose," he whispered softly against Sirius' neck, burying his face in the supple flesh, allowing the scents of smoke and spice to put him at ease.

Sirius pulled back and brought his hand to Remus' face again, fingers tangling themselves in chestnut curls, the pad of his thumb gently caressing his cheek.

"It's true. You're strong, Remus. You always have been. Your scars are just an indication of that."

Remus smiled, pressing a tender kiss into Sirius' lips, before pulling back. He had never thought of himself as strong before; the fact that Sirius did meant everything to him.

Remus felt Sirius' hand drift back down to his chest, but he didn't flinch at the movement. Sirius' eyes shone with the question:  _ may I?  _ And Remus gave a subtle nod in return.

Sirius again traced the scars with his thumb, mapping his way across Remus' body. He lowered his eyes and took a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak. 

"Remus…" He hesitated for a brief moment. "You'll… let me know if I ask anything that you don't want to answer, yeah?"

Remus' smile grew and he brought a hand to Sirius' face, tucking a loose strand of black hair behind his boyfriend's ear.

"Yeah, I will. I'm… I'm usually pretty good about questions. Don't hesitate to ask me stuff, okay?" Remus loved knowing that his boyfriend was willing to ask things and learn, rather than to assume anything or to keep his thoughts to himself. Sirius returned Remus' smile before dropping his gaze to the scars across his chest.

"Does it… hurt?"

Remus shook his head.

"Nah. I had the surgery a long time ago, it just feels like normal skin now."

"And… do you still have… feeling there?" Sirius' thumb was nearing the edge of his boyfriend's nipple and Remus struggled to suppress a laugh.

"Yeah…" he smirked, blushing slightly. "I still have feeling there… I actually…" Remus looked away and bit his lip, trying to figure out how to say what he was thinking. "I actually quite like it," he mumbled sheepishly.

Sirius gave his typical cocky smirk as his thumb gently grazed Remus' nipple, causing him to hum appreciatively, letting out a soft sigh. 

_ Ring ring ring. _

The spell that had captured Sirius and Remus, enveloped them in tranquility, was instantly shattered by the ringing of Sirius’ phone.

“ _ Fuck, shit, god fucking dammit _ ,” Sirius swore under his breath as he rolled away from Remus, his absence leaving a vaccuum of cold air and empiness. “ _ What _ ?”

Remus gave his boyfriend a puzzled look, surprised at the abruptness of his greeting. Sirius rolled his eyes and mouthed the word  _ Prongs _ before continuing. 

“No, I… I spent the night here… … No, we… look, Prongs, can we talk about this later? I’m... I’m still with Moony… … No, you can’t speak to him! … Yes, it’s fine. We’re fine… … Yes… …  _ Yes _ , Prongs…. Yes! Now, can I… … Yes, we’re still on for tonight… … No, I’m not sure. I can ask him… … Right now?... … I don’t care what Lily wants! You are  _ seriously… _ …  _ Fine.  _ One sec…” Sirius put his hand to the mouthpiece of his phone and turned to Remus. “Lily wants to know if you’re coming tonight?”

“Uh…” Remus felt very put on the spot; he hadn’t yet decided whether or not he wanted to join Sirius and his friends at the bar, especially considering the fact that Benjy would be there. “I… I’m not sure?” 

Sirius brought his cell phone back up to his ear. 

“He doesn’t know… … Because he hasn’t decided yet! Why are you being like this? … … Well, tell her to ask him herself… … Prongs, if you don’t hang up the phone right now, I swear to god… … No, thank you. I don’t need a lift… Thanks… Just… Prongs, go away!... … Okay, I’m hanging up now… … I’m hanging up!... Good  _ bye _ .”

Sirius snapped his phone closed and gave his boyfriend an apologetic look, causing Remus to laugh. He placed the phone beside him on the bed and rolled back to where Remus was, his eyes flashing with mischief. 

“Now… where were we?”

Remus gave his boyfriend a gentle shove before sliding out of the covers and getting to his feet.

“We were just about to get dressed and go for breakfast.”

Sirius groaned, but Remus didn’t fall for his wiles this time, opting instead to grab his clothes for the day off the shelves. Remus paused for a moment and glanced over his shoulder at Sirius. 

“Don’t look for a sec, okay?”

Sirius looked slightly startled at the request, but he nodded before turning around. Remus hurriedly changed his boxers, surprised that he was comfortable enough with Sirius to so much as get changed in the same room as him. 

“You know, you don’t have anything to hide around me, right?” Remus didn’t respond. “I just…” Sirius let out a sigh. “I’m not gonna look, but, hopefully one day you’ll be comfortable around me.” His voice was laced with sadness as he said that last part and Remus felt a slight pang of guilt.

“You can open them…” His boxers were on, and he had already proven to himself that he was okay with Sirius seeing the rest of him. “And… I am comfortable around you. More than I’ve been around… well, anyone. I just…”

“You need time,” Sirius continued, knowing where Remus was going with his thought. “I know. And you can have all the time you need. I just… want you to know that I do love you, no matter what.”

“I know,” Remus said, grinning. “I love you, too.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Sirius**

miss u

  
  


**Remus**

You literally just left an hour ago.

  
  


**Sirius**

so?

i can still miss u

  
  


**Remus**

Lol

You're such a dork.

Thanks for breakfast by the way. I'll cover next time.

  
  


**Sirius**

does that mean theres a next time?

  
  


**Remus**

Of course! I had fun last night.

  
  


**Sirius**

good

cuz i did 2

luv u

  
  


u decide if ur coming 2 bar 2nite?

  
  


**Remus**

I don't know. Bars aren't really my thing.

  
  


**Sirius**

i kno

but it wud still b nice if u were there

maybe come sleep ovr at my place after

;)

  
  


**Remus**

Lol

I'll think about it, okay?

  
  


**Sirius**

k

  
  


**Remus**

Hanging out with Lily. She says she's forcing me to come. Thought you'd be happy about that.

  
  


**Sirius**

remind me 2 kiss her wen i c her

  
  


**Remus**

Or not. 

Anyway, see you tonight at 8. 

  
  


**Sirius**

kk

c u

luv u

  
  



	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter: There is a bit of dub-con/non-con, but rest assured, nothing actually happens to any of the characters.

Remus tapped his foot impatiently as Lily adjusted her hair in the front hall mirror of her flat. 

"You look lovely. Can we please _go?_ You said you needed five minutes twenty minutes ago!"

Lily rolled her eyes at Remus and checked her watch. 

"How is it already quarter-to?" She looked down at her feet before swearing under her breath and looking at Remus. "My purse, Reme! Hang on, it's in my room!"

Remus groaned again as Lily ran back to her room to grab her purse. From the sounds of it, she had absolutely no idea where it was.

"I love you, Lily, but you're _killing_ me! We're gonna be late!" 

Lily's head poked out from her door to scowl at Remus. 

"I've told you, Reme! It's a symptom of — "

"Yes, yes! I know! A.D.D. presents different in women than it does in men, and your penchant for forgetting where things are and what activity you're currently focused on has a tendency to make you late for things…" Remus had been the one to initially encourage Lily to seek a diagnosis, so he wasn't unfamiliar with the way her brain worked; it just happened to directly interfere with his desire to be early at all times. "I should've gone with Marls!"

Lily stepped out of her bedroom, purse slung over her shoulder, a skeptical smirk on her face. 

"Yeah, I don't think you would've been too happy heading to the bar with Marlene either," she teased, wrapping her arm through Remus' as they left her flat together. "You know she's already drunk, right?"

"You make a valid point," Remus joked as Lily locked her door. "I sometimes forget that you're not all nerds who stay home and play video games a day."

Lily giggled as she took Remus' arm and headed downstairs with him.

"And I sometimes forget that you _are_. But I love you anyway."

The two friends got into the cab that Remus had called and headed to the Labyrinth, with Lily excitedly talking about their night ahead and Remus happily listening. By the time they arrived at the bar, it was already ten past, and Remus couldn't get out of the taxi fast enough. He practically dragged Lily through the door, determined to find their friends who he expected to already be there.

The moment they walked inside, Remus was assaulted with the overwhelming stench of alcohol and sweat, an overbearing beat that reverberated through his bones from music that was far too loud, and an intense feeling of claustrophobia caused by the excessive amount of people crammed into that small of a place. He felt Lily's hand reassuringly touch his back.

"Breathe," she whispered in his ear. "You've got this."

Remus nodded at his friend, forcing a smile, before turning to the rest of the bar and scanning the patrons for a familiar face.

"Moons!"

Hearing the voice behind him immediately relaxed Remus, and for the first time all afternoon, his anxiety melted away. Remus turned around to find Sirius beaming at him, and he gladly returned the smile.

"Hey Pads."

Sirius' fingers slipped between Remus' and gave his hand a squeeze before pulling away. Remus knew that Sirius wasn't completely comfortable being open and out in public, and he was fine letting Sirius reveal himself at his own pace. It was the least he could do, considering how understanding Sirius always was for Remus.

Sirius gave Lily a kiss on the cheek and led the way to a large booth along the far wall, where Marlene and James were already sitting. 

Lily slid into the seat beside her boyfriend, giving him a kiss hello, and Remus tucked himself beside Marlene, who had been Lily's friend forever, and by extension, Remus'.

"Hey Marls," Remus beamed as Sirius slid in beside him. "Have you met Sirius?"

"Yeah," she said, rolling her eyes. "This isn't our first night out." Remus cocked an eyebrow and turned to Sirius, feeling slightly confused.

"Uh… yeah, Lily's invited us out to the bar in the past." Sirius shrugged, running a hand through his hair. Something about his tone was awkward, uncomfortable. Remus' brows knitted together.

"You didn't tell me that…" He tried to force a casual smile. "How come you didn't invite me?"

Sirius looked down at his hands and Lily caught the cue and spoke up.

"It was a couple weeks ago, Reme. When you were…" She trailed off, letting Remus figure out what she was implying.

_When we weren't talking._

Remus reached instinctively for Sirius' hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, as if apologizing for his past actions. Sirius grinned at him softly before turning to the rest of the group.

"Anyway!" His voice was loud, enthusiastic, as if he wanted to immediately change the subject. "Benjy and Dorcas should be here any minute! That's almost everyone… Prongs, where's Wormy?" James shrugged, as if Wormtail's whereabouts were the least of his concerns. Sirius glared at his best friend. "Wanna call him maybe, make sure he's okay?"

"Make sure who's okay?"

Remus' stomach dropped as the familiar voice behind him grabbed his attention. 

"Benjy! Dorcas! Hey guys!" Sirius turned to the rest of his friends, his smile growing. "Guys, Benjy and Dorcas. Benjy, Dorcas, this is everyone else!"

"Hey," Benjy nodded at the group and then leaned in closer to Sirius, a wry smile on his face. "Nice to see you, Sere." He was practically salivating in Sirius' ear and Remus wanted to wipe that smug grin off his classically handsome face.

"Wormy!" 

Remus had never been more grateful to James for his timing as he glanced up to see who he was waving over. Behind Dorcas and Benjy was a plump young man, beaming at Prongs with a look of sheer joy.

"Hey Prongs! Hey Padfoot! Hi Lily!" 

In the slight commotion, Remus almost didn't notice Sirius slip out of the booth and Benjy's arm around his shoulders, leading him to the bar. He pursed his lips and made to follow them when Dorcas slid into Sirius' vacated seat. 

"Hey Philosophy partner. Didn't expect to see you here."

"Oh… hi Dorcas. I was just… I wanted to…" When he saw Sirius laughing at something Benjy whispered to him, Remus suddenly lost the urge to follow his boyfriend. "Nevermind. How are you?" His voice came out a lot more bitter than he intended.

"Fine. What's up your arse?"

"What do you think?"

Dorcas gave Remus a gentle nudge before turning to the rest of the group to introduce herself.

—

The evening continued, and Remus found himself on the edge of every conversation. He didn't drink because of his medication, so his friends' descent into drunken debauchery emphasized his sobriety in the worst way. 

As the group eventually split off, Remus found himself alone at the edge of the room, nursing a glass of water. James and Lily were dancing together, enjoying the music, Peter was trying to chat up Marlene, and Benjy and Sirius were sitting at the bar, talking and laughing like old friends.

Remus couldn't stop staring. It was like a car accident at the side of the road: looking at it made him feel horrible, but he couldn't pry his eyes away. Benjy was outright flirting with Sirius, who was completely oblivious. He was also making sure that Sirius' glass was never empty, resulting in one very tipsy Padfoot.

“He’s trying to get him drunk,” Remus growled under his breath to himself. 

“Yeah, he is.” 

Remus was startled by the voice behind him and spun around to find Dorcas with a dismayed look on her face, clutching her gin and tonic like it was Benjy’s neck.

Remus stared at her for a second, his chest aching at hearing Benjy’s friend confirm his suspicions. He glanced back down at the water in his hand, squeezing it tightly and letting the icy sting burn his fingers. 

“He’s not always such a scumbag, you know…” Remus glanced up to notice that Dorcas looked almost forlorn, her deep brown eyes filled with pain, sadness etched deeply through her mahogany skin. “He’s had a lot of _shit_ happen to him recently.”

Remus pursed his lips, giving Dorcas a slight scowl; he had a lot of things happen to him in the past, but he didn’t translate that into despicable actions. 

“Hey, promise you won’t tell Benj I said any of this?” Dorcas’ voice was hushed, barely audible over the sound of the music blaring across the bar.

“I don’t plan on saying anything to Benjy _ever_.”

A small grin tugged at the corner of Dorcas’ lips before she continued.

“He’s really not a bad guy… He just... “ Dorcas let out a sigh, considering her words before continuing. “He’s living in my flat right now. On my couch. His parents kicked him out in September.” When Remus didn’t respond, Dorcas continued. “He came out at the end of the summer. He thought… since they were his parents… since they loved him… Turns out, their love only went so far. He’s just… he’s angry. And frustrated. And he’s not dealing with it too well.”

Remus felt a pang of guilt as he realized how harsh he’d been on Benjy. Sure, his circumstances didn’t exactly justify his actions, but Remus knew what it was like to not be accepted for being himself. He was fortunate that his parents had been immediately supportive of him, so much so that they facilitated his transition financially as best they could. He wasn’t, however, as lucky with all of his friends from the past. 

“I keep trying to get him to see someone…” Dorcas said after a moment. “Not, like _seeing_ someone, but, like, talking to someone, you know? Like a therapist… I think it would help. But he has this messed up notion of therapy, thinking it’s only for crazy people. And that’s his shitty parents talking. I wish he’d just _see_ that…”

“Yeah…” The word slipped past Remus’ lips before he had even realized it. Remus stared at Benjy and Sirius, a newfound pity for the man that he had spent so much time loathing. The two of them were talking, laughing, Sirius running his hand through his hair. Remus still didn’t like Benjy and the way he was acting, but at least he was humanized slightly. He was _almost_ redeemable, until he began to shift forward on his barstool. 

Remus' fists clenched at his sides as he saw Benjy place a hand on Sirius' thigh. He couldn't hear what Benjy had whispered, but Sirius' bright laughter rang through the bar. Remus' stomach twisted; he felt sick, convinced that he might actually throw up. He wanted to get up, to do something, say something, but he was immobilized. 

Benjy leaned forward in his stool and, to Remus’ horror, planted a kiss on Sirius' lips. Remus stepped forward, moving to intercept, when he saw Sirius pull away from Benjy, placing a firm hand on the other man's chest and pushing him back.

"What are you _doing_?" Remus could hear the alcohol in Sirius' voice, but there was no doubt that he was not having any of Benjy's antics.

"Uh…" Benjy pulled back slightly, removing his hand from Sirius' thigh. "I'm… I'm sorry. I just… I thought you were gay…" He seemed lost, confused.

Sirius made an odd face, as if he was debating whether or not he should answer the question truthfully. 

"I am, yeah."

"Oh…" Benjy's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Then…"

"I'm… I'm seeing someone, Benjy."

"Oh. You've never mentioned a boyfriend before."

Benjy's words struck Remus in the chest, driving into him like a knife. Sirius never mentioned him?

"I… I didn't think I had to. Was it… not _obvious_ ?" Sirius looked around in confusion, drunkenly trying to get his bearings. Or searching for someone. "I'm dating _Remus_."

Remus felt Dorcas slap him gently in the arm.

"You never told me you two were a _thing_!" She hissed, but Remus shooed her away with his hand.

" _Him_?!" Benjy looked over to where Remus and Dorcas were standing, a look of disgust clearly etched on his face. Remus made to take a step forward, but felt Dorcas' firm grip holding him back.

"Yes, _him_ ," Sirius spat, and Remus could hear the temper rising in his voice. "Why do you say it like that?"

Benjy shrugged, his face twisting into a cocky pout.

"He's not very… manly."

"He most certainly _is_!" Sirius emphasized his statement with a drunken gesture and Benjy rolled his eyes.

"If you say so. I just… I think you could do better."

It happened in a flash, Remus almost missed it entirely, but the sound that Sirius' fist made when it connected with Benny's jaw was unmistakable. Sirius was on his feet and panting as he shook out his hand, still glaring at the man beside him. 

"What the _fuck_ , Sirius?!" Benjy yelped, clutching at his face.

"Don't you _ever_ talk about my boyfriend like that _again_ ," Sirius growled threateningly. Remus didn't know if he wanted to smack Sirius or kiss him. Possibly both. "Moons was right about you. You _are_ a dick. I can't believe I didn't see it before. _Fuck off_ , Benjy. Get the _fuck_ out of my face."

Benjy opened his mouth to speak, but their group of friends had heard the commotion and they quickly swooped in to ease the tension. Dorcas hurried over to Benjy, trying to calm him down, Marlene and Lily standing next to them. James draped Sirius' arm around his shoulder and was escorting him over to Remus, talking him down from an outright brawl in the middle of the bar.

"You were _fuckin' right_ , Moons," Sirius grumbled, stumbling slightly when James let go of him. Remus turned to James and smiled gratefully.

"I've got him from here, James. You stay with Lily, make sure she gets home safe." He turned to his boyfriend, desperately trying to suppress his grin, lest Sirius think his actions were warranted. "Come on, Pads. Let's go home before they actually kick us out."

Remus pulled Sirius' arm around his own shoulder and practically dragged him from the bar. Sirius continued to mutter incoherently, the words _Benjy_ and _arsehole_ coming up relatively often. 

Once they were outside, the cool night air and relative silence of the street washed over them, and Remus inhaled deeply, letting the breeze relax him. He flagged down a taxi and inserted his drunken Padfoot into the back seat before following him, and before he knew it, they were on their way back to Sirius' flat.

— 

Remus had to help Sirius use his keys to open the door to his flat. As soon as the door swung open, Sirius stumbled inside with Remus trailing after him, trying to keep him on his feet. Remus ducked underneath Sirius’ arm and led him into his bedroom, sitting him down on the edge of the bed. Sirius’ face was bright red and he had a goofy grin, his eyes almost completely glossed over.

“You, sir, need some water,” Remus laughed, disentangling himself from Sirius’ arms. He noticed the bruise on his boyfriend’s knuckles, darker now than it had been in the bar. “And some ice, while I’m at it… _Stay_ , Sirius.”

“Arf!” 

Remus rolled his eyes as his boyfriend stuck his tongue out like a dog. He turned away and hurried to the kitchen, not wanting to leave Sirius alone in the bedroom for too long. He walked back in holding an ice pack and a glass of water. 

Remus pressed the cup into Sirius’ good hand with a sharp command.

“ _Drink_.”

Sirius obliged as Remus gently took his other hand and placed the ice pack against it, ignoring his boyfriend’s hiss at the temperature.

“You shouldn’t have punched him, Sirius,” Remus scolded. He smiled softly and knew he was probably blushing. “But… thank you.”

“No one makes fun of my Moony,” Sirius mumbled into his cup, holding it at his lips without actually consuming any.

“ _Drink,_ Padfoot. I don’t want to have to ask you again.” Remus noticed Sirius’ smirk and saw the pinkness spreading across his cheeks. 

“Yes _Sir._ ”

“You shouldn’t get into fist fights. It’s not good for you…” Remus ran his thumb across Sirius’ bruised knuckles, icy skin sending chills up his spine. “This is your drawing hand. You’ve gotta keep it safe…” Sirius leaned forward, resting his head on Remus’ shoulder.

“Mmm, you take such good care of me, Moons,” he slurred, nuzzling his boyfriend. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Remus pushed Sirius upright, raising the half-full glass of water and Sirius’ hand to his lips. 

“I ask myself that same question all the time. Except… you know… the other way. Now _drink_. I want this glass finished, Padfoot.”

Sirius smirked around the glass, chugging the rest in one go, before tossing it to the side on the bed and lifting his hands to Remus’ hips.

“I’m sorry, Moons…”

“For what?” Remus raised his hand, running it through Sirius’ bangs and brushing them out of his eyes. 

“For not believing you. About Benjy. I should’ve listened. I should’ve just—”

“Shh. It’s okay, Pads. You didn’t know. You just…” Remus let out a sigh, brushing back Sirius’ hair affectionately. “You just wanted a friend. I get that. It’s not your fault he’s a dick.”

Sirius pressed forward, wrapping his arms around Remus and burying his face in his boyfriends’ chest. 

“I love you,” he mumbled into the fabric, and Remus leaned down to kiss his head. 

“I love you too, Pads.”

Sirius pulled away from the hug, and looked up at Remus, mercurial pools shimmering with desire. He ran his hands along Remus’ sides before untucking Remus’ button down shirt and rubbing the skin beneath it. Remus chuckled awkwardly, grabbing gently onto Sirius’ wrists.

“What are you doing, Pads?” Sirius stretched his head up to kiss Remus’ neck, his hands exploring further up his boyfriend’s torso. “ _Pads…_ ”

“I’m not doin’ anything, Moons…” His words were slurred and mumbled from the alcohol as he kissed Remus’ collarbone, hands tugging at his waistband. “Mmm… nothin’ at all…”

“Sirius,” Remus said, his tone a little less playful. “You’re _drunk_.”

“Yeah, _and_?” Sirius’ hands slipped out from beneath Remus’ shirt and immediately went for his buttons, swiftly undoing them as he kissed lower on Remus’ chest. How his boyfriend was able to undo the buttons in his drunken state was beyond Remus, but that wasn’t his major concern at the moment.

“Sirius, you’re _drunk_ . I don’t want to do anything while you’re drunk, okay?” Remus reached for Sirius’ wrists and tried to gently pull them away, but he wasn’t nearly as strong as his boyfriend. He tugged a little firmer, but Sirius’ hands continued to make quick work of his shirt, until it was completely open. “Sirius, I don’t want to do this, _okay_?”

Sirius’ mouth made its way to Remus’ nipple, his tongue flicking deftly over it, swirling around. His hands held firmly onto Remus’ sides, holding him still despite his squirming.

“Sirius, _please_! You’re drunk. I don’t… I don’t want to do this while you’re drunk!”

“Mmmm, c’mooon Mooons,” Siruis mumbled against his boyfriend’s skin, his hands continuing to rub every exposed surface they could find. 

Remus put his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and pushed as hard as he could.

“Sirius, _STOP!_ ” There was no playfulness in his voice, no laughter: it was firm and demanding, laced with a hint of fear. Sirius immediately pulled away and looked up at Remus, his mouth slightly parted, his glassy eyes showing confusion. “ _Please…_ ” Remus whispered softly.

Sirius said nothing.

He let go of Remus, looking down at his hands, as if they were an unfamiliar object that he was inspecting. 

“Sirius… I’m…” Remus trailed off. Sirius looked up at Remus, who couldn’t quite read the expression on his face. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“It’s _fine_ ,” Sirius said sharply, gently moving Remus aside as he stood up, slightly wobbly on his feet. 

“Sirius, what are you doing?”

“I’m gonna go take a shower.”

Remus reached out and grabbed his boyfriend’s arm. “I’m _sorry_ , Sir—”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. Just… stay here. I’m gonna… I need to go… I hafta sober up… I’ll… lemme just…”

Sirius trailed off as he stumbled out of the room, and Remus hurried after him.

“Sirius, don’t! You’re drunk! That’s dangerous. Let… let me help. I can hel—”

“Moony, _stop._ I made a promise. I told you if you said no, it meant no. I’m… my head is fuzzy. I just… Just wait in the room, okay, I need to just… just… let me just sober up, okay?”

Sirius walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him, leaving Remus standing in the threshold of the bedroom, mouth still hanging open.

“ _Sirius…_ ”

— 

Remus was woken up by the bed shifting around, and he lifted his head groggily.

“Pads?”

“ _Shit_ , did I wake you, Moons? I’m sorry.” Sirius slipped under the covers and wrapped his arm around Remus, kissing him gently on the cheek. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Mmm, is’k…” Remus mumbled, letting his head fall back onto the pillow. “I’m so sorry, Sirius…”

“What? Don’t be an idiot, Remus. What are you sorry for?”

“For not wanting to… you know… do… anything?”

“Shush. None of that.” Sirius’ fingers trailed up and down Remus’ arm affectionately and he leaned in to plant a kiss on his shoulder. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m so sorry. And I don’t expect you to forgive me. What I did was absolutely uncalled for.”

Remus looked up at his partner, a lump forming in his throat.

“No, you were drunk. It wasn’t your—”

“No, Remus. That’s not an excuse. A promise is a promise. I promised you that I would stop if you asked me to and… And I got ahead of myself. I should have stopped earlier. I’m so sorry.” As Sirius kissed his shoulder again, Remus felt damp hair fall against his skin.

“How… was your shower?”

“Sobering,” Sirius muttered, still trailing lines up and down Remus’ arm. “I needed it.”

Remus inhaled deeply, trying to stave off the feeling of guilt that was building up inside. 

“I’m sorry… I should have…”

“ _Stop,_ Remus. You did _exactly_ what you should have done. Thank you.” 

“...Thank you? What are you thanking me for?”

“For not letting me make a mistake. For saying _no_ . For knowing your limits and keeping me accountable for my actions. I’m really grateful to you. And I’m proud of you. You knew what you weren’t comfortable with and you… You didn’t let me being your boyfriend affect your judgement. I’m glad you put your foot down. So… thank you.” Remus felt a drop of dampness on his skin and had the sinking suspicion it wasn’t from the shower. “ _Thank you._ ”

He closed his eyes, letting his own tears fall against Sirius’ pillow. 

“ _Thank you_ ,” Remus echoed, gratitude washing over him, as he wondered what he had done to deserve someone as amazing as Sirius in his life. 

  



	21. *Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is smutty and has no plot, so you can skip this if you want!
> 
> ((Also, I'm sorry I missed the chapter drop yesterday! This one took a bit longer to write!!)

Remus woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon wafting through the air. He smiled and rolled over in bed, expecting to find his lovable boyfriend asleep beside him. Instead, there were rumpled blankets and a dented pillow where Sirius' body used to be. 

Remus sat himself up groggily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Pads?"

"Oh, perfect timing!" Sirius appeared in the threshold of his bedroom with a serving tray, wearing boxers, a t-shirt, and a bright smile on his face. "Good morning, Moons!"

"What's all this?" Remus raised an eyebrow as Sirius approached the bed. Remus straightened himself up and sat with his back against the headboard.

"Breakfast in bed! Haven't you ever had breakfast in bed before?" Sirius placed the tray gingerly on Remus' lap. 

There was an array of delectable food, assembled together in a rather fancy looking display. One plate had scrambled eggs and bacon, another had buttered toast, and a third had slices of fresh fruit. There was a glass of orange juice and a mug of coffee, milk and cinnamon already added. Remus looked up at Sirius, his heart tugging in his chest.

"Thank you, Sirius. This is… well, this is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me…"

Sirius smiled at Remus, climbing back into his spot in bed. 

"You're welcome. Hope you like it. I'm not really a chef or anything, but I figured eggs are easy enough. And it's all _breakfast_ food, _your Highness_." Sirius gave a cheeky wink, but Remus was too overwhelmed with the gesture to be offended.

"You're not eating?" Remus asked after a moment, noticing that Sirius didn't prepare a plate for himself. 

"Nah, I ate while making your food. Anyway, that's not how breakfast in bed works! You get to be spoiled. I get to watch." Sirius poked Remus gently in the side with his finger. "Now eat! Before it gets cold!"

Remus took a bite of the eggs, blushing slightly as he noticed Sirius' watching his every move. 

"So? How is it?"

"It's perfect, Pads. Thank you." Remus ate another bite, rolling his eyes at Sirius' expectant puppy look. "So what's the occasion, anyway?"

Sirius shrugged, leaning his head on Remus' shoulder and stealing an apple slice from the plate.

"Iunno… just happy to have you around? I just… felt like doing something special."

Remus' eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing! I swear!" Sirius raised his hands in defense, drawing out a chuckle from his boyfriend. "I just… really love you, Moons. We have the whole day together and I just… wanted to spend it being lazy with you."

Remus leaned over and gave Sirius a delicate kiss before resuming his breakfast. He couldn't help but think that this might be the best morning he'd ever had.

"So," Remus said after a while, a sly grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. "How're you feeling this morning?"

Sirius let out a groan, running his fingers sheepishly through his hair and chuckling.

"A bit better now. Drank some water, had a bit of food. I've had worse." 

Remus laughed, biting into a piece of toast. 

"And you remember everything from last night?"

Sirius glanced down before saying anything.

"Unfortunately, yeah."

Remus noticed Sirius expression, guilt written across his face. 

"Hey, it's fine. We're fine." Remus reached out to grasp his boyfriend's hand, only then remembering the deep purple bruises strewn across his knuckles. "Oh, that looks painful. How's it feeling?"

Sirius flexed his fingers, wincing slightly before chuckling nervously.

"I've felt better…"

"I should go get you some ice." Remus moved to get up, but Sirius stopped him.

"No, no! You stay here. Finish breakfast. I'll go get an ice pack." Sirius quickly got to his feet and left the room before Remus could argue with him, and returned promptly with some ice and a cheesy grin. Remus could feel himself blushing as he grinned back, reveling in their perfect lazy morning alone.

_Alone?_

"Hey, are Prongs and Lily home?" Remus asked, realizing that he didn't hear them come in last night and they didn't sound like they were up and about.

"Nope. His door's open and no one's there. They probably went back to Doe's place." Sirius must have noticed the look on Remus' face, because he laid a gentle hand on his boyfriend's arm. "Don't worry. I'm sure they're fine."

"Yeah," Remus muttered, reaching for his phone. "But I'd rather know for sure. Lemme just text them…"

  
  


**Remus**

Hey, you get home ok? What happened after we left?

  
  


Remus snapped his phone shut and tossed it on the bed beside him before finishing the rest of his toast. 

"So, any plans for today? You don't have work, I don't have class… hell, I don't even have any assignments to work on…" Sirius shrugged casually, but his grin was anything but innocent, juxtaposed with the bright pink spreading across his cheeks. Remus let out a bright laugh and rolled his eyes. " _Other_ than the obvious, I mean."

Sirius' hand instinctively went to his hair as he tried to hide his embarrassment. 

"We could go out on a real date, if you want… I don't think we've ever really done that, you know? Gone out? Had dinner? Saw a movie? Like a couple."

Remus swallowed hard, past the lump in his throat.

"Oh…"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, _oh_."

" _Oh_ , as in…"

"As in _Oh, I didn't realize you wanted to go out and be seen with me…_ " Remus hurriedly put a piece of apple in his mouth, trying not to get himself into trouble.

"What? Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno, you just… never seem to want to hold my hand or kiss me in public or anything. I just figured… you didn't want people to _know_. You know?"

Sirius cocked his eyebrow, stealing another slice of fruit. He chewed it for a moment before speaking.

"You though I didn't want people to know _what_?"

"That… you're gay? Because you're in the closet?"

An awkward silence fell over the room. Remus had never before noticed how loud apples were and how annoying his own chewing could be. Sirius eventually spoke up.

"Um… yeah, I'm… a bit self conscious of it. It's… still new for me. But…" He bit the edge of his lip, as if he needed to find the right words to say. "I want to take you out. I want to go on _real_ dates with you. Because I love you. And I'm…less worried about what people think… now that I have you, you know? Does that make sense?"

Remus smiled, lifting his breakfast tray and putting it on the floor beside the bed. He turned to Sirius and brushed dark bangs away from silver eyes. 

"Yeah, that makes sense. And… I'd like that." Remus leaned in, capturing Sirius' lips with his own before pulling back with a smirk. "Maybe we'll do that later this afternoon, though… I think we should take advantage of our time alone…"

Sirius' hand made its way to Remus' cheek as he pressed forward, kissing his boyfriend tenderly. 

_Buzz buzz_

"Mmm…" Remus pulled away from the kiss and reached for his phone. "One sec…"

  
  


**Lily**

Yeah, we're fine. James and I came to my place. Marls helped Dorcas take Benjy home. How's Sirius?

  


**Remus**

He's fine. We're at his place. His hand has seen better days, though. Wonder how Benjy's face looks…

  
  


Remus snapped his phone shut again and placed it on the night table beside him. 

"So? Prongs and Doe are fine?"

"Yeah," Remus mumbled, rolling back over to face Sirius. "They're fine. Everyone seemed to get home okay last night, so that's good…"

Sirius smiled, brushing back Remus' curls from his eyes. 

"So… Since we're going to be alone for a while…"

Sirius raised a brow but didn't continue his thought, waiting instead for Remus to make the first move. Remus pressed forward, his lips connecting with Sirius', his hands tugging gently at the shoulder-length hair that he was so fond of. Sirius responded with a satisfied hum and kissed back, wrapping his arms protectively around Remus' body.

The boys continued, snogging passionately as the morning sun shone through the window. Remus nipped at Sirius' lips, teasing, tempting, earning himself tantalizing groans from his partner. Sirius ran his hands across Remus' back, along his sides, up and down his hips and thighs. Remus' moans were captured by Sirius' mouth as they continued to explore each other's bodies.

One of Sirius’ hands kept on wandering lower and lower, stopping every so often and waiting for Remus’ approval before continuing. It came to a rest just above Remus’ boxers and stayed there. Remus shifted his hips slightly, subconsciously seeking any kind of friction against his groin, to satiate the growing need building up inside of him. When Sirius’ hand didn’t move any lower, Remus knew he needed to take it upon himself and give Sirius explicit permission, in no uncertain terms. 

Remus brought his hand down to Sirius’ and directed it lower, bring it over his boxers and pressing it against his erection. Sirius took the hint and began rubbing Remus through the fabric, groaning longingly as he pleasured his partner.

Remus let out a heavy moan and Sirius pressed more firmly, working Remus’ body as if he knew exactly what he was doing. Remus shuddered beneath the touch, grasping at Sirius to try to bring their bodies impossibly closer.

Sirius’ hand lifted up slightly and a soft whine escaped Remus’ lips without his brain’s permission. Sirius tickled the skin at Remus’ waistband, sneaking a finger just below the elastic. 

Sirius pulled back and looked at Remus, molten silver eyes looking for permission to move further. Remus didn’t say anything; he didn’t know what to say. He wanted this so badly but he didn’t know if he could handle it. Sirius leaned forward to press a kiss against Remus’ neck, fingers still teasing the skin just below his partner’s underwear.

"I wanna touch you, Remus," Sirius purred in his ear. "I wanna _feel_ you. _Taste_ you."

Sirius' words sent a shiver down Remus' spine, causing his cock to stir; and he knew right then and there that he needed Sirius to touch him. He didn't just _want_ it, he _needed_ it, more than he had ever needed anything in his entire life. 

Remus closed his eyes, nodded to his boyfriend and leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

" _Yes._ " 

Remus crushed his lips into Sirius', focusing all of his attention on the kiss and trying not to think about what Sirius would do once he realized what Remus actually looked like _down there_.

Sirius' hand slid past the waistband of Remus' boxers and wrapped gently over his cock and all of a sudden, everything was perfect. As Sirius touched him, rubbed him, stroked him, all of Remus' fears and worries melted away, giving way to sensations unlike anything he had ever felt. It started from his cock but worked its way up his body, into his abdomen, running through his chest. Remus threw his head back, letting out a voracious moan, and then Sirius was there, kissing his neck, groaning along with Remus. 

This wasn't like any of the times Remus had touched himself in the past. This was something new and amazing and wonderful. This was Sirius touching him, Sirius' body against his, Sirius' mouth sucking marks into his neck. This was so intensely sexual and hot and intimate and—

" _Fuuuuck_ ," Remus groaned as Sirius did _something_ — he had no idea what it was but it was _amazing_ — to Remus. "Sirius, that feels so… _Ahh!_ ...Feels so _fucking_ good…"

Sirius pulled away from Remus' neck, nibbling gently on his ear, as his fingers slid slightly lower, dangerously close to Remus' entrance. 

"May I?" He whispered, his fingers moving slightly to imply his intentions. 

Remus couldn't do anything but nod. He had always hated what he was equipped with, but here, in Sirius' bed, with Sirius' hand where it was, he was willing to let Sirius do _anything_ to make this feeling last. 

" _Yes_ ," Remus panted, grasping impatiently at Sirius' shirt after his boyfriend didn't respond to his nod. "Yes, yes, _please…_ "

He could feel Sirius smile against his cheek before kissing his jaw, his neck, his shoulder, anything his mouth could reach. Then Sirius was inside him; Sirius’ fingers twisting and moving and making him feel _so good._

Remus squirmed, pushing Sirius further inside; his boyfriend's name playing off his lips over and over as the fingers moved in and out, slicked by his own wetness.

" _Fuck_ , Remus. You're so _fucking hot…_ " Sirius was panting in Remus' ear. 

Remus couldn't do anything but moan, thrusting his hips up and down while his boyfriend slid in and out and hit all the right places and made him feel _so good;_ and then one of Sirius’ hands was on Remus’ cock again and he could feel all of his muscles contract and release, and the waves of pleasure built up inside of him and—

" _Yes_! Sirius, I'm—"

And with a moan, Remus felt himself come around Sirius' fingers, felt his cock twitch in Sirius' hand, his mind completely blank to anything except the sensations and _Sirius_. 

Only Sirius.

Electricity shot through his entire body, from his curled toes to the tips of his fingers, coursing through him in waves of pleasure. His thighs shook as Sirius continued working him, drawing out his climax.

And then it was over. Remus was gasping, panting, trying to catch his breath and steady his heart as Sirius' movements slowed and he carefully pulled out; his fingers were damp and slid tauntingly along Remus’ cock.

"So _fucking_ hot…" Sirius murmured in Remus' ear. Remus didn't answer. He couldn't answer. He couldn't do anything but lie there and let the post-orgasm haze wash over him. 

It took a moment for Remus to come to and realize that Sirius had spent the whole time focusing on him. 

"Sirius…" Remus mumbled, pressing his forehead against Sirius' chest, eliciting a deep chuckle.

"Hmm?"

"You didn't… I didn't…you didn't finish… let me…"

Sirius pressed a kiss into Remus' head.

"Shh, don't worry about me. I wanted to make _you_ feel good…"

"Sirius…"

Sirius brought his clean hand to Remus' face, tilting it up to look into his eyes.

"That was exactly what I wanted. To see you enjoy yourself. It was perfect, Remus…"

Despite his words, Remus could feel that Sirius was still hard, still pressed against him, still immensely turned on. Remus reached a hand down, tracing Sirius' length over his pants.

"What're you—" 

"Your turn, Pads..."

Sirius opened his mouth to object, but closed it again after seeing the hungry look in Remus' eyes. He smiled at his boyfriend and nodded.

Remus slipped his hand past the waistband of Sirius' boxers and gently grazed his fingers against his cock, long and stiff and twitching slightly at the touch. 

Remus had never held anyone's cock other than his own and he was surprised at how different it felt; how soft the skin was, how easily it moved and stretched, the weight of it in his hands, how smooth the head was, how much it leaked from the tip. 

"Mmm…. _Fuck_ ," Sirius groaned into Remus' hair. " _Yes…_ " 

Remus tightened his grip, moving his hand up and down, stroking slowly at first before picking up the pace slightly. It was easier than he had imagined, each of his movements drawing out another moan from Sirius' lips, another growl from within his chest. 

Remus felt his own cock twitch slightly and his heart rate sped up. He knew it was possible for his body to come more than once, but he had never tried it himself. As he tugged on Sirius, Remus shifted his hips forward, pressing his cock firmly against his partner's thigh, grinding against it.

" _Fuck,_ Remus. I love seeing you like this," Sirius muttered, wrapping his arms around Remus' waist and encouraging his movements. "Seeing you get yourself off on me… _Ah…_ while stroking my cock… _Fuuuck..._ "

Remus smirked to himself. Sirius really seemed to like dirty talk, and Remus himself didn't mind it. He reached for Sirius' hand and brought it down to his own cock, past his boxers, directly against the skin.

"Mmmm… ready to go again _already_?" 

"Guess I'm lucky in that way…"

Sirius stole a feverish kiss from Remus, biting at his bottom lip playfully, before answering.

"I'm definitely not complaining. _Fuck_ , I could stroke your cock all day…"

"Then what're you waiting for, Sirius?" Remus didn't recognize the voice that escaped his lips, dark and lustful, laced with a ravenous greed. Sirius groaned needily in response— almost a whine— as he eagerly obeyed Remus' instruction.

Remus worked his hand faster as his hips gyrated, grinding into Sirius' fingers. He slid the soft, malleable skin of Sirius’ cock up and down, feeling every curve and line of it, memorizing everything about it. It was perfect. _Sirius_ was perfect. And Remus wanted to know what it felt like to make him come. 

_"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…"_ Sirius mumbled into Remus' neck, his hand no longer moving against his partner's cock once his body tensed up.

Remus smirked to himself, biting down on Sirius' shoulder, stroking faster and faster, his own hips still moving, the friction coursing through him…

" _Fuck_ , Reme, I'm… I'm gonna…"

As the words left his mouth, Sirius' body tightened and his cock twitched in Remus' hand, shooting warm liquid from the tip. Remus continued stroking until his boyfriend was finished, panting from exhaustion. 

Sirius' hand lay still in Remus' pants.

Remus reached a hand down, folding Sirius' fingers in his own, and continued to work himself. He closed his eyes, feeling the same sensation build up in his body. 

" _Fuck_ , you are so hot, Remus…" Sirius murmured in his ear, his grip tightening slightly. Remus sped up his movements, quickly matched by Sirius, and before he knew what was happening, he felt his body contract and release, the same sparks coursing through him.

" _Yes, Sirius…_ " Remus moaned.

"Come for me, Moons… _Fuck_ , yes, just like that…"

Remus' movements slowed down and suddenly Sirius' hand against him felt like too much; he was overstimulated and the slightest bit of pressure was almost uncomfortable. 

"Stop stop stop…" Remus gently tugged Sirius' hand away with a chuckle. "That's... I'm good. That was good… _really_ good…" He leaned forward, pressing an affectionate kiss against Sirius' limp lips. "You're perfect."

"Mmm… no you," Sirius mumbled, his eyes half closed, a placid grin across his face. 

Remus collapsed onto his pillow, trying to catch his breath and still his frantically beating heart. He could hear Sirius' breathing beside him slow down and settle back into its regular rhythm.

They laid side by side for a few moments as they gathered themselves, before Remus finally spoke up.

"I… could definitely use a shower."

Sirius laughed beside him, flopping a lazy hand onto Remus' hip and rubbing it affectionately.

"Yeah… I could, too. You know, it would save water if we showered together… better for the environment and all that…"

Remus rolled towards Sirius, giving him a quick kiss and a smile.

"Maybe next time…"

Sirius' brushed back an errant curl from Remus' eyes, grin spread wide on his face.

"Love you, Reme."

Remus kissed his boyfriend one more time before disentangling himself and sitting up. 

"I love you too, Sirius." He rolled himself out of bed, slowly getting to his feet. 

"Towels are under the sink," Sirius mumbled as Remus made his way to the door. "Wake me up when it's my turn!"

Remus rolled his eyes and walked to the bathroom, his body still buzzing pleasantly from the best morning ever. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long! Updates may be a bit slow this week, as I have a few things coming up IRL. Hopefully things will be back to daily updates by next week. I'm sorry everyone!

Remus and Sirius stepped out of the movie theatre hand in hand, excitedly talking about what they had just seen as they made their way to the restaurant. 

"I almost forgot that Timetale Five is coming out next month," Remus mused. "Wanna go to the midnight showing or something?"

Sirius chuckled and nudged Remus with his elbow.

"You are such a dork, you know that?" Sirius said with a smirk. Remus scowled at his boyfriend, earning him another joyful laugh. "But yeah, I'd like that. Midnight showing of TTS. Sounds like a date!"

The word  _ date _ rang in Remus' ears. It sounded so perfect on Sirius' lips, in Sirius' voice. They were on a  _ date _ . For the first time since Sirius had asked Remus out, the two of them were finally on a real date, and it was perfect.

They had just finished watching a movie together— something that couples did on television all the time— and they were headed to dinner after. Sirius had insisted on paying for the tickets, much to Remus' dismay, but Remus had managed to persuade his boyfriend to let him buy the popcorn. 

As they walked to the restaurant, fingers clasped together, Remus couldn't help but feel completely and utterly at peace. So much so, that he almost didn't notice that Sirius had stopped abruptly until he felt his boyfriend's hand pull away from his own. 

Remus turned around, cocking an eyebrow curiously, but when he opened his mouth to make a cheeky comment, he was startled by the look on Sirius' face. It was as if Sirius had seen a ghost; the colour faded from his already pale skin, his grey eyes opened wide in shock and horror. 

"What's wrong, Sirius?" Remus asked nervously, taking a step closer. "What happened? Sirius, are you okay?" Remus had never seen his partner like this before; Sirius was always collected, always sure of himself, always grounded— it was Remus who was usually the more absent-minded one in their relationship. This time, however, Sirius seemed anything but present, his mouth slightly parted as his gaze remained focused on something in the distance.

Turning around to see what the source of Sirius' distress was, Remus couldn't find anything that stood out amongst the people on the street, the signs from the buildings, anything around them. There was nothing that would have sent Sirius into such a state of consternation. 

Remus closed the gap between them and reached for Sirius' hand. The moment their skin made contact, Sirius immediately pulled away, suddenly aware that Remus was still there with him. 

"Pads?"

"I have to go, Remus," he said abruptly, spinning around and hurrying in the opposite direction, towards the movie theatre. Remus chased after him, reaching for Sirius' hand.

"Sirius! What happened? What's wrong?" Sirius didn't respond, opting instead to continue striding away at his steady pace. "Sirius, talk to me!"

Sirius stopped and faced Remus, taking his boyfriend's hands briefly in his own. They were tense, clammy, so different from the tender, soft touches that Remus was used to.

"I love you. I just… I need to go. I'm sorry."

Sirius let go of Remus and continued to hurry back towards the movie theatre with Remus trailing hopelessly along after him.

" _Padfoot_!" Remus called, in a last-ditch effort to get his boyfriend to actually talk to him. " _Sirius!_ _Please_!"

Sirius turned around so abruptly, Remus was caught off guard by the movement. There were tears welling up in Sirius' silvery eyes, sparkling in the late afternoon sunlight, and it looked like he was barely holding himself together. Sirius reached a hand up to Remus' face, cupping his cheek gently before bringing their foreheads together.

"I love you, Remus. I just… I really need to be alone right now. I am so sorry. I just… I need this, okay?"

Remus blinked.

He blinked again.

Then he timidly reached a hand up and pressed it firmly into Sirius' chest, staring up into tear-filled eyes. 

"Talk to me tonight?" He was almost begging.

"I promise."

Remus gave Sirius a peck on the lips and forced himself away from his boyfriend, allowing the man the space that he needed, despite the hole that it left in his heart. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be a bit slow to update over the next several days. I'm sorry! I'm going to try my best not to leave you all hanging! I love you all, thanks for your patience!

Moony: Hey Pads, let me know as soon as you see this please.

Moony: I’m really worried about you, and I’m trying really hard not to freak out right now.

Padfoot: hey

Moony: Sirius! Thank god. Are you okay? What happened?

Padfoot: I’m ok

Moony: Sirius, please talk to me. I’m really worried.

Padfoot: you don’t have to worry

Padfoot: I’m fine

Padfoot: just a bit shaken is all

Moony: What happened?!

Moony: Everything seemed like it was going so well! We were on a date and we were gonna go for dinner! Was it something I did?

Moony: Was it something I said?

Padfoot: no no no

Padfoot: you didn’t do anything moons

Padfoot: you’re perfect

Padfoot: absolutely perfect

Padfoot: this is on me

Moony: What is on you?

Padfoot: it’s a really long story

Moony: Well then, it’s a good thing that I just had someone cancel a date. I’ve got all evening.

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: low blow

Moony: I’m sorry.

Padfoot: no it’s fine

Padfoot: I like when you make me laugh

Padfoot: it helps

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: you know I’ve got a long and complicated past

Moony: Don’t we all?

Padfoot: lol ya

Padfoot: I’ve mentioned to you before that I haven’t lived with my parents for a while

Moony: Yeah, you said you left home in your teens and went to live with Prongs, right?

Padfoot: yup

Moony: And this has to do with that?

Padfoot: yup

Moony: Pads?

Moony: Still there?

Padfoot: ya

Padfoot: just figuring out how to say things

Padfoot: my parents were awful

Padfoot: my dad was a shithead

Padfoot: my mom was a bitch

Padfoot: they bullied and attacked us at every opportunity

Padfoot: it sucked

Moony: Us?

Padfoot: ya

Padfoot: I had a brother

Padfoot: well…

Padfoot: I have a brother

Padfoot: but we haven’t spoken for years

Padfoot: not since I left

Moony: I’m so sorry to hear that, Pads.

Moony: That must be awful.

Padfoot: ya

Padfoot: he’s actually the reason I stayed as long as I did

Padfoot: I would have left a hell of a lot earlier if he hadn’t been around

Padfoot: but I stayed

Padfoot: I wanted to protect him

Padfoot: keep them away from him

Padfoot: but when I got caught…

Padfoot: when they found out about me being gay

Padfoot: I didn’t have a choice

Padfoot: they made me leave

Padfoot: so I did

Padfoot: I left him behind

Moony: I’m so sorry.

Moony: God, I wish there was something I could say. I just… I’m sorry.

Padfoot: it is what it is

Padfoot: I’ve thought about him a lot since leaving

Padfoot: hell 

Padfoot: not a day goes by when I don’t think about him

Padfoot: but I didn’t grow up in westumber

Moony: So you never actually expected to see him here.

Padfoot: exactly

Moony: And you saw him today.

Padfoot: yup

Moony: I wish you would have told me, I could have been there for you.

Padfoot: I didn’t want you there

Moony: Oh

Padfoot: no no not like that

Padfoot: it’s not that I didn’t want you there

Padfoot: that came out totally wrong

Padfoot: I didn’t want you to have to be there for me

Padfoot: I like being able to be strong

Padfoot: independent

Padfoot: I'm not used to relying on others for things

Padfoot: and I like being there for you

Padfoot: someone that you can rely on

Padfoot: your rock

Remus: Pads, relationships go both ways. They're a give and take.

Remus: That feeling you get when you want to take care of me? When you help me through things? That's mutual. I want to be able to help you, too.

Padfoot: I'm sorry

Remus: No, don't be sorry. Seeing your brother again must have been really hard. I get it…

Remus: How long has it been since you've last seen him?

Padfoot: about five years

Remus: Did he recognize you today?

Padfoot: I don't think so

Padfoot: I dunno

Padfoot: I kinda ran away from there before he saw me

Padfoot: I'm such a coward

Moony: You're not a coward, Sirius. Don't say that about yourself. You've been through a lot in your life and you've made it this far. You are strong. And you're brave. And I love you.

Padfoot: thanks moons

Moony: Is James with you right now?

Padfoot: no

Moony: You're home alone?

Padfoot: ya

Moony: Okay, I'm heading over.

Padfoot: what?

Padfoot: no

Padfoot: moony you don't have to do that

Moony: I know. I don't have to do anything. But I don't want you alone right now. You deserve to have someone there for you, the way you're always there for people.

Moony: So I'm heading over.

Moony: I'm gonna pack my bag. I'll see you in half an hour ish.

Padfoot: remus you don't have to

Padfoot: you have class tomorrow

Moony: I'm going Pads, whether you like it or not.

Padfoot: …

Padfoot: thanks

Moony: See you soon.

Padfoot: see ya


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I know this isn't really the chapter update you wanted! I promise, once this weekend is over, we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming!

**Remus**

Do you like pizza?

  
  


**Sirius**

ya y?

evryone likes pizza

  
  


**Remus**

Cool, what do you like on it?

  
  


**Sirius**

wat r u doing?

  
  


**Remus**

Buying a pizza. We didn't have dinner. I'm grabbing food. What do you like on your pizza?

  
  


**Sirius**

im a shitty bf

I was supposed 2 take u out 4 dinner 2nite

  
  


**Remus**

You're an amazing boyfriend. Pizza toppings???

  
  


**Sirius**

anything but mushrooms

  
  


**Remus**

What?! Mushrooms are awesome. You're weird. 

  
  


Favourite ice cream flavour?

  
  


**Sirius**

this is 2 much

  
  


**Remus**

Ice cream???

I like mint chocolate chip.

  
  


**Sirius**

same

  
  


**Remus**

Perfect. See you soon.

Love you.

  
  


**Sirius**

luv u 2


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thank you very much for your patience this week! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, real life has been kicking my butt lately! (The real IRL. :P )
> 
> Hopefully I can get back to my regular daily posting schedule!
> 
> You guys are all amazing for sticking with me thus far!

Remus knocked on the door to the flat and heard Sirius' voice coming from within; hoarse, desperate, and barely audible through the door.

"It's open."

Remus inhaled deeply, collecting himself, readying himself for what he was about to see, before turning the handle and pushing the door open.

"Hey Moons."

Sirius wasn't entirely visible from his spot on the sofa, but Remus recognized the feet that were up on the armrest. He put his bag down and made his way over to his boyfriend. When Remus walked around the couch and saw Sirius for the first time, his heart sank.

Sirius' eyes were swollen and puffy, bright red juxtaposed with the paleness of his skin. He was clutching a pillow in his arms, as if it was the only thing anchoring him to reality, keeping him from being swept away by the raging waters of his emotions. 

Placing his pizza box and grocery bag on the coffee table, Remus ran a gentle hand through Sirius' messy locks. He grabbed a spare pillow from the armchair and dropped it on the floor beside the sofa before sitting atop it, his back pressed against the couch cushions, his head next to Sirius'. 

"Hey, Pads." It was all he could manage to say. What do people say when someone they love is hurting? "Pizza?"

Remus heard Sirius huff a laugh behind him and smiled, knowing that at least he could make even a tiny difference to his boyfriend's mood. He leaned forward to grab the pizza box, but stopped when he felt Sirius' hand on his shoulder. He turned his head, noticing the pleading expression in silvery eyes.

"Just… sit for a bit?" 

Remus didn't recognize Sirius' voice. It wasn't anything like the Padfoot that he had fallen in love with; this was somebody who was hurting, who was barely holding themselves together. Remus cringed slightly at how familiar it sounded.

"Yeah, of course…" Leaning back against the couch, Remus gathered his thoughts, searching his mind for the words that would make Sirius' pain disappear. Those words didn’t seem to exist. "How… how are you feeling?"

Another huffed laugh and Remus knew he chose poorly.

"I feel like  _ shit _ ." 

"Yeah, I figured as much…" Remus leaned his head back, staring up at the stark white ceiling. "Wanna talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?"

"Your brother?"

Sirius didn't answer for a while, the oppressive silence filling the flat. Eventually, Sirius spoke up. "Regulus."

"Hmm?"

Remus had no idea what Sirius was talking about.

"That was his name.  _ Is.  _ It's still his name… Regulus. Family had a thing for astronomy..."

"I can see that," Remus joked, but neither boy laughed. 

Sirius inhaled deeply, releasing his breath as a weary sigh before continuing.

"Reg was… the son my parents always wanted. Smart. Well-behaved. He followed the rules and he spoke like a gentleman. He was everything I wasn't… but I loved him anyway.  _ So much… _ " Sirius' voice was choked, as if he was trying to hold in all of his pain and sorrow, catching it in his chest before it could escape. "I used to read to him when we were young. He loved TTS… We played games together… pretended to be characters from our favourite shows…  _ fuck _ , I miss him."

Remus twisted his body so that he could look up at Sirius, raising a hand to clasp his boyfriend's. "You could… try to get back in touch with him?"

"You don't get it, Remus," Sirius muttered, pulling his hand away. "I'm dead to him. If he saw me… He must hate me for leaving him there. He had to fend for himself… and now he's their heir and… you just don't get it. I can never talk to him again. It would… it wouldn't be fair to him."

"What would be so bad abou— "

"She'd kill him if she knew he was talking to me."

From the sound of Sirius' voice, Remus couldn't tell if he was exaggerating or not. 

"You know, for all you know, he could have done what you did and left the family…" Remus knew it wasn't likely, but he hated the idea of Sirius never speaking to his brother out of fear for Regulus.

"He hasn't."

"How do you— "

"Remus,  _ stop. _ This isn't something you'd understand, okay? Just… Stop." Sirius' tone was sharp, and Remus felt his chest tighten as he realized that his boyfriend was angry at him. Sirius was right: they seemed to come from two completely different worlds and Remus was in unfamiliar waters. Remus dropped his gaze to his hands, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"Well…" Remus started, his voice so quiet he could hardly hear it himself. "I'd like to understand… If— if you'd be willing to explain it to me."

Sirius let out a sigh and Remus felt him shift on the sofa. Sirius sat up, swinging his legs over the side, next to Remus' torso, before he leaned forward and grabbed the pizza box from the coffee table. 

"You should put the ice cream in the freezer before it melts," Sirius said softly, grabbing himself a slice of pizza. Remus felt a pang of guilt, knowing that Sirius was trying to change the subject because of something he said. He kept his thoughts to himself, however, and followed his boyfriend's suggestion. When he got back to the sofa, he sat himself down beside Sirius and grabbed a slice. 

The two boys sat in silence as they ate their supper. It wasn't until Sirius was finished his first slice that he finally spoke again.

"Swords is on tonight."

"Yeah, it is…" Remus answered, slightly confused. "Do you… want to watch it?"

"Yeah…" Sirius grabbed himself a second slice of pizza and leaned back into the sofa, his mouth twisting pensively as he appraised his food. "You know the Deerbornes?"

Remus' brow knotted together as he contemplated how to answer the question. "Yes…? One of the seven great families in the kingdom…?"

Sirius nodded solemnly, only responding again after he had finished chewing.

"My family is the Deerbornes. And I'm Edwyn."

"Oh." Edwyn Dearborn had been the rightful heir to Deerborne Castle before his parents banished him to the south, where he became a Knight of Light. "And I guess that makes your brother Thames Deerborne?" 

"Mmhmm…" Sirius finished his slice before continuing. "If Edwyn ever tried to return, to reach out to Thames, Romilda would make sure they both suffered."

"What if—" Remus began, before cutting himself off. Sirius didn't seem to be a fan of his positive speculation. Remus chewed his lip for a moment, picking his words carefully. "Edwyn could rescue Thames. Neither boy really wanted to inherit the fortune. It's something that he's talked about doing in the past..."

"It's an analogy, Remus," Sirius said bitterly, staring off across the room, not focused on anything in particular. "It's not a perfect example."

"I know, but— "

" _ Remus _ ." Sirius was looking at him, brows knitted together, forehead furrowed in frustration. As pools of molten metal scanned Remus' face, they softened slightly, and Sirius let out a sigh. He leaned back into the couch, running a hand through his hair and brushing black strands away from his face. "Sometimes…" Sirius took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as if he was forcing himself to relax. "Sometimes, when people are talking about a problem… something that's bothering them… They don't want advice. Sometimes they're just looking for a person to listen to them."

Remus chewed his lip nervously, watching as the pizza in his hand drooped slightly. 

"Is that— "

"Yeah. I just…" Sirius pressed his hands into his temples and Remus just  _ watched _ , trying to decipher what his boyfriend was trying to say. "I love you, Remus. I do. But when I'm upset, I don't… I don't want you to offer suggestions. I don't want you to try to fix my problems. I just… I just need someone to listen. I just like knowing that you're there for me."

"I'm sorry…"

"No, see, that's why I didn't want to say anything!" Sirius groaned, his hands balling into fists. "I don't… don't be sorry. You didn't know. I just… I just need someone to listen, okay?"

Remus opened his mouth to apologize, but caught himself before the words instinctively escaped his lips. "Okay."

Sirius stared ahead at the blank screen on the living room television. "Thanks."

Oppressive silence once again enveloped the room, until Remus suddenly stood up, startling Sirius out of his stupor. 

"It's almost nine. Why don't you head to your room and set up SAS?" He looked down at Sirius, forcing his face into a facsimile of a warm smile. 

Sirius looked up at Remus and blinked before nodding slowly and dragging himself up from the sofa. As he headed into his bedroom, Remus packed up the rest of the pizza and put it in the fridge. He searched through Sirius and James' kitchen cupboards and drawers before he found bowls and spoons. He headed towards Sirius' room with two portions of ice cream, steadying himself with a deep breath before entering. 

"Mint chocolate chip. I heard you like it."

Sirius glanced up from his laptop and, for the first time all evening, smiled. It wasn't the joyful grin that Remus was used to seeing on Sirius' face, but it was enough for him to know that he was helping. 

"Thanks."

"No problem." Remus plopped himself down in the bed next to Sirius, taking his laptop from his boyfriend and exchanging it for a bowl of ice cream. "Ready to watch?"

Sirius nodded slowly, still seemingly dazed, and Remus took that as a  _ yes _ , playing the episode that Sirius had queued up. 

When  _ Swords and Sorcery _ was over, Remus took the empty bowl away from his boyfriend and began cleaning everything up. 

"What're you— " Sirius began, but cut himself off when he saw Remus' smile. 

"Let me take care of you, 'kay?" Remus gave Sirius' hand a gentle squeeze as he passed by his boyfriend on his way to putting the laptop away. "It's the least I can do. And it makes me feel useful."

Sirius nodded, trying to return the smile. 

Remus left the room to wash the dishes, and by the time he returned, Sirius was under his covers, the lights of the bedroom turned off. Remus pulled his trousers and socks off and climbed into bed with Sirius, wrapping his arms gently around his boyfriend. It felt unusual; holding Sirius instead of being held by him. It was Remus’ turn to be there for Sirius, and he didn’t plan on taking the responsibility lightly. 

"I love you," he whispered softly in Sirius' ear, planting a delicate kiss on his cheek. Sirius hummed in appreciation before Remus settled in, holding Sirius' body close to his own.


	26. Chapter 26

"Hey, dork… wake up!"

Remus was pulled from sleep by the sound of Sirius' voice in his ear. He pried his eyes open, only to find the grinning face of his boyfriend beaming down at him. 

"Hey," Remus mumbled into the balled up comforter that he was snuggling.

"C'mon, get up! You don't wanna be late for school, do you?" Sirius teased excitedly. Remus groaned, letting his eyes close for a moment in the hopes that this was just a terrible dream. " _ Moons _ !"

"Yeah yeah," Remus grumbled, his mind clearing just enough to remember the events from the night before. "Oh… Sirius… how… how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Now get up!"

Sirius brushed off the question, and Remus took that as his cue to consider the subject dropped. 

"Okay, okay, I'm getting up.  _ Jeeze _ …"

Remus rolled himself out of bed with an exaggerated moan, loudly lamenting the fact that he had to rise earlier than ten. Sirius laughed along with Remus' joke, leaving him to wonder whether or not Sirius was actually  _ fine _ , or if he was particularly good at acting. 

Within minutes, Remus was up and dressed, scarfing down a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table, listening to Sirius bemoan the previous night's episode of  _ Swords and Sorcery _ .

"I still don't understand why they didn't just follow the plotline of the book! They should have just waited for the next one to come out, instead of trying so hard to make this season happen!" 

Remus smiled at his boyfriend, trying to stave off the sinking suspicion that Sirius was overcompensating. 

"Moons?"

"Hmm?"

Remus glanced up at Sirius, realizing that he had been lost in his own mind and hadn't listened to everything his boyfriend was saying.

"Thanks…"

Sirius' expression was unreadable for Remus; it was soft and sad, but his eyes were still glistening with that typical  _ Padfoot _ spark. Tucking a loose curl behind his ear, Remus tried to hide his blush: somehow Sirius' stare always managed to make him feel giddy.

"You're— you're welcome. I didn't really do anything to deserve your—" Remus felt a gentle kick from under the table and saw Sirius rolling his eyes. "Right, yeah, sorry. You're welcome."

____

  
  


After Remus' morning class had finished, he found himself instinctively wandering over to the campus Moondoe where he knew Sirius was working that day. He found himself a table in the back corner, where he settled in with his book, casting an occasional glance at the handsome barista that he had eyes for. 

"Oi. Tell your boyfriend I said  _ thanks… _ "

Remus rolled his eyes; he didn't even need to glance up from his book to recognize Dorcas' sarcastic tone. He heard her bright laughter and the sound of the chair across from him shifting as she settled in. 

"I'm only half joking. Benjy really had it coming, I'm glad someone finally knocked some sense into him. He spent the whole night trying to get Sirius drunk… and I spent the whole weekend trying to talk him down."

"Talk him down from what?" Remus asked his copy of  _ Swords and Sorcery _ , a grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

"From returning the favour to Sirius." From the corner of his eye, Remus caught a glimpse of Dorcas' slender fingers stealing a chunk of his muffin. "Which would have been a pity, he has such a handsome face."

Remus couldn't help but tear his eyes from his book, looking up at his new friend's cheeky grin, sitting smugly on her plump lips.

"It is quite handsome, isn't it…" He joked, smirking to himself.

"How'd you end up bagging a bloke like that?"

Remus rolled his eyes again, tucking his bookmark in his novel and setting it aside. 

"Believe it or not, he's actually a giant  _ nerd _ ." He emphasized the word with an exaggerated whisper, as if it was some sort of poorly-kept secret. Remus sat up straighter in his chair and adjusted an imaginary tie. "And I happen to  _ like _ nerds, thank you very much."

Dorcas laughed, a joyful sound that hung in the air, ringing playfully in Remus' ears.

"I don't mind lending him out for a bit, but his curfew is 10 PM. Otherwise he gets a bit grumpy," Remus continued with a wink.

"Oh, no thank you. He's not exactly my  _ type _ ."

Remus cocked an eyebrow, his grin never wavering.

"What,  _ tall, dark and handsome _ isn't your type?"

"Not when they're dudes, they're not."

Remus blinked, taking in the new information that Dorcas provided him. She held her smile, waiting for the realization to dawn on him. 

"Oh…  _ Oh!  _ I had no idea..."

Dorcas chuckled, leaning back in her chair. 

"What, you thought I had a crush on Benjy or something?"

"Well…  _ yeah _ ! I did!" Remus ruffled his curls sheepishly, suddenly realizing that Dorcas and Benjy were, in fact, completely platonic.

"Nope. Now your friend  _ Marlene _ on the other hand…"

Remus blinked again, vaguely remembering Lily saying that Marlene and Dorcas took Benjy home from the bar. 

"Bloody hell… I thought Sirius was trying to set you up with Peter or something! But he knew, didn't he…" 

Dorcas nodded, still smiling at Remus. 

"He was right. She is pretty cool. Think I have a chance?"

"Knowing Marls," Remus said with a chuckle, "She's already planning out your wedding."

"I mean—" Dorcas began, before she was suddenly interrupted. 

"Hey  _ dork. _ "

Remus' chest tightened as he heard Benjy's voice, his eyes widening in horror as he saw his classmate approaching. He had a purple bruise on his cheek, about the size of Sirius' fist, that was only just starting to heal.

"Hi Benj," Dorcas offered over her shoulder, her eyes remaining focused on Remus. "Play nice."

"I didn't do anything!" Benjy grabbed a chair and dragged it beside Dorcas, sitting down and greeting Remus with a penetrating stare. "Hello Remus."

Remus didn't say anything for a moment, until he felt Dorcas' foot connect with his shin under the table.

"Ow! Uh— Hi… Benjy. Hello."

"Benjy… do you have anything to share for the class?" Dorcas' deep brown eyes remained steadfastly locked with Remus'. 

"I'm sorry I made fun of you the other day. And I'm sorry I kissed your boyfriend."

"Oh…" That was not what Remus was expecting. "Um… No, yeah… that's… Thank you. It's— it's fine. It's okay. I'm— I'm sorry Sirius punched you. That was so uncalled for. I'm sorry."

Benjy shrugged, staring down at his nails and leaning back casually in his chair.

"Eh… I deserved it."

"No, you— "

"I was hitting on your boyfriend. I had a feeling he wasn't single, but I got him drunk anyway. I had every intention to fuck him that night. That's on me."

"I'm, uh… glad you didn't?" Remus offered awkwardly. He didn't know how to respond to Benjy's brazen attitude and straightforwardness. 

"Yeah. Anyway, you're a decent enough bloke. I was kind of an arse and I shouldn't've been such a little shite."

"Thank you, Benjy," Dorcas said, her tone reminding Remus of a mother complementing her child. 

"Get fucked," Benjy murmured to Dorcas, causing Remus to shift uncomfortably in his seat. He was used to Sirius' crass language, but something about the way Benjy spoke seemed to rub him the wrong way. "Anyway," Benjy said, interrupting Remus' thoughts. "If you break up, fair warning, I'm gonna give it another go. He's fit…  _ Ow! _ "

Remus flashed Dorcas a grateful smile, knowing full well how hard she could kick under the table. 

"Anyway," Dorcas said with finality, getting up from her seat. She smiled kindly at Remus before turning to her friend. "One down, one more to go. See ya, Remus."

Benjy rolled his eyes before standing up and following Dorcas over to the barista counter without saying another word to Remus. 

From his seat in the back of the coffee shop, Remus couldn't hear a word of the conversation, but he could clearly see Dorcas and Benjy talking to Sirius, who kept running his hand nervously through his hair. Remus turned his attention back to his book, his mind still racing after the most unusual interaction he could have imagined. 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's something a little different for you today! (Hope you still like it!)

Rubbrducki: Hello MoonyGarou! It’s nice to finally get the chance to talk to you one-on-one! Thanks for adding me to Instachat!

Moony: No problem! I’m excited to be able to talk to you! It’s so awesome to have this opportunity to get to know one of the mods of Gaymers Online!

Rubbrducki: How long have you been on the forum? 

Moony: I’ve been lurking for over a year now, but I’ve only really been active in the past couple of months. It took a while to finally gather the courage to post and actually share some of my games.

Rubbrducki: I’m really glad you did, Moony. Your work is fantastic.

Moony: Thank you! I’m very flattered!

Rubbrducki: So, as I said on the forum, I’m travelling to the UK for IndyDev Con this weekend. You mentioned that you live nearby? Are you in London?

Moony: I’m not in London, but I’m close enough that I can travel there for the con. I was considering attending, but I wasn’t planning on showing anything. 

Moony: I’m still not very confident in terms of my game development skills, especially compared to a lot of the big names that will be at the con!

Rubbrducki: You have nothing to worry about. I can assure you, your work is definitely up to snuff! The concepts that you shared on our forum and the games that you have already made have a lot of potential. That’s why, when I heard that you lived in the UK, I wanted to be able to meet up with you.

Moony: I’m honoured! I just don’t know if I’d live up to your expectations. I’m still in school for computer science. Everything I know is just self-taught at this point.

Rubbrducki: All the more reason for me to be impressed.

Rubbrducki: You don’t have to decide anything right away, but if you are interested in meeting up and grabbing lunch or something, I would be thrilled. I’d love to pick your brain and meet the man behind the games. 

Rubbrducki: Think about it and get back to me, okay?

Moony: Thank you very much for the invitation!

Moony: I’ll let you know soon.

Rubbrducki: Excellent! 

Rubbrducki: Talk to you later.

Moony: Bye!


	28. Chapter 28

Moony: Hey Pads!

Padfoot: hey moons

Padfoot: miss you already

Moony: You're such a dork. You literally just saw me today at school.

Padfoot: ya but I don't have you in my arms right now

Moony: That might be for the best. We've got Philosophy projects to work on, I don't need you distracting me!

Moony: How'd your conversation go with Benjy? I saw you two talking today.

Padfoot: it was fine

Padfoot: he apologized

Padfoot: I apologized

Padfoot: we're still working together on phil

Moony: That's good!

Padfoot: I guess

Moony: Isn't it?

Padfoot: kinda sucks that I thought he was a friend and then he went and fucked everything up

Moony: Yeah…

Moony: But at least he apologized?

Padfoot: ya

Padfoot: I just dunno if things can get back to how they were

Moony: Maybe not… but you have a chance to start over. Maybe things can be different but also good.

Padfoot: ya maybe

Padfoot: when did you get so wise?

Moony: When I started spending every available evening with you?

Padfoot: lol

Moony: Hey Pads…

Moony: Can I talk to you about something?

Padfoot: you're not breaking up with me right?!?

Moony: What?! No! Of course not!

Moony: Why would you even ask that?!

Padfoot: I dunno!

Padfoot: usually "we need to talk" ends with a breakup

Padfoot: don't do that to me

Padfoot: you scared the shit out of me!

Moony: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!

Padfoot: ten pence

Moony: Yeah, yeah. "Ten pence".

Padfoot: lol

Moony: No, don't worry. This isn't something about you. I just… I could use a sounding board.

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: what's up?

Moony: Okay, you know I like game design and stuff, right?

Padfoot: ya

Moony: Well, I've been on this forum for the past year or so… but I've only really started posting a few months ago. It's for lgbt+ gamers and game developers looking to change what "gaming" looks like. 

Padfoot: cool

Moony: Yeah! It's really neat!

Moony: I've even posted a few of the things I've made, and people seem to like them!

Padfoot: that's awesome moons

Moony: Yeah…

Padfoot: something wrong?

Moony: Well, one of the mods is coming to London from the US for an indie game convention. And he suggested that we meet up…

Padfoot: that's amazing!

Moony: Is it?

Moony: It's… honestly kind of terrifying.

Moony: I don't know if I should meet with him. I'm not really that good at making these things… and I'm only in first year. 

Moony: Plus, he's some indie game dev from the states. What good is that gonna do me?

Moony: And this is just someone from the internet. I don't even know if this is real or just someone messing with me…

Padfoot: moons this is a great opportunity

Padfoot: I say go to the con and give it a shot

Padfoot: you can have your work looked at and critiqued

Moony: Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

Padfoot: I really think you should go and meet with him

Padfoot: worst case scenario he's not who he says he is and you leave

Padfoot: when's this con?

Moony: Next weekend...

Padfoot: cool

Padfoot: want me to go with you?

Moony: I don't know… maybe. I'm just…

Moony: I don't know if this is a good idea.

Padfoot: it is moons

Padfoot: it's just meeting someone

Padfoot: you could get coffee or something

Moony: Well, he did invite me to grab lunch with him…

Padfoot: even better

Padfoot: it's just lunch moons

Padfoot: I think you should do it

Moony: Okay. 

Moony: Thanks for the input, Pads.

Moony: I'm gonna mull it over. In the meantime… wanna watch something?

Padfoot: depends

Moony:... Depends? On what?

Padfoot: do I get to watch you?

Moony: Shut up.

Padfoot: cause that's what I'd really like to watch right now

Moony: Where is this coming from, Pads?

Padfoot: I dunno

Padfoot: can I help it if I just miss you?

Padfoot: and it's been a while since we've done anything

Moony: …

Moony: It's been a DAY, Padfoot.

Padfoot: … seriously?

Moony: Yes! We just… "did something" yesterday morning.

Padfoot: fuck

Padfoot: what a day

Padfoot: that feels like forever ago you know?

Padfoot: yesterday was a fucking DAY…

Moony: It really was…

Moony: Okay Pads, how about this: I'll go over to your place tomorrow night. We can go to class together Wednesday morning. 

Padfoot: that sounds perfect

Moony: Meanwhile, let's distract ourselves with some tv.

Padfoot: anything in particular?

Moony: We could watch more MSC8K?

Padfoot: I was actually thinking we could start a new show…

Moony: Cool! Did you have something in mind?

Padfoot: have you heard of college?

Moony: College?

Padfoot: ya

Padfoot: it's an american show about six misfits who go to college

Padfoot: I heard it was funny

Moony: Okay! I'm down for that!

Padfoot: or we could watch the cs crowd

Moony: CS Crowd?

Padfoot: ya

Padfoot: nerds in a basement

Padfoot: they do computer science and stuff

Moony: Did you just Gougle shows to watch or something?

Padfoot: maybe

Padfoot: I will neither confirm nor deny that

Moony: lol

Moony: You're such a dork. 

Padfoot: you love it

Moony: I do.

Padfoot: I figured we ran out of shit to watch so I'd see if I could find some stuff

Padfoot: those seemed the most promising

Moony: Okay, I'm down!

Padfoot: which one?

Moony: Let's do College. CS Crowd seems a bit too poignant right now.

Padfoot: cool

Padfoot: you can find it on metoob

Moony: Found it!

Moony: Ready?

Padfoot: play

Moony: I like it so far! What do you think?

Padfoot: same

Moony: Oh man, I relate so hard to Samir. Talking in movie quotes… I feel called out.

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: does that make me tory because I'm your best friend?

Moony: Wait, are they gay?!

Moony: I love it!

Padfoot: oh

Padfoot: I don't think so

Padfoot: sorry for getting your hopes up

Moony: Good job… Shattering all my dreams.

Moony: Also, who said you're my best friend?

Padfoot: lol

Padfoot: ouch

Padfoot: you wound me

Moony: I'm kidding!!

Moony: Oh, btw, Dorcas just texted me… she wants to know if we wanna work on our projects tomorrow, all four of us…

Moony: It might help keep the peace between you and Benjy…

Padfoot: I guess…

Padfoot: I think things ended on good terms today

Padfoot: I don't really need to be baby sat

Moony: Oh, I thought it was more that we could all hang out, maybe keep an eye on Benjy. 

Moony: I still don't exactly trust him…

Moony: But I took her invite as more of a social thing…

Moony: Not a "we have to watch out for Sirius" thing. 

Padfoot: ok

Padfoot: ya I guess we can do that

Padfoot: what time do you have class until tomorrow?

Moony: Three. But Dorcas has class until five.

Padfoot: same

Padfoot: we have the same class

Moony: Cool! So we'll meet after that!

Padfoot: cool

Padfoot: bring your shit for wed

Padfoot: we can head right to my place after

Moony: That sounds perfect.

Moony: Alright, it's getting late.

Moony: Gonna head off.

Padfoot: sleep well

Moony: You too.

Moony: Goodnight Pads. Love you!

Padfoot: night moons

Padfoot: love you too

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to stop by tumblr and say hi! @maraudererasmut


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